Soul to Keep
by TG81
Summary: "What if I can give you everything you've ever wanted?" It's an exchange of sorts. All of Bella's dreams can come true, but at what cost, and more importantly, is it worth it?
1. Prelude

Hi there! Before I start getting pelted with shoes, I promise that the next two chapters of Rounding Third are with my beta now! Yay!

This story is about souls, redemption and hopefully will have some laughs along the way.

Absolute mad props to **107yearoldvirgin,** **BellaSunshine, **and **IPunchWereWolves **for their support on this. You ladies absolutely rock my socks. **Kas90 **is my beta and has offered some fantastic advice. Many many many hugs and kisses.

* * *

><p>These shoes are killing me. My toes are pinched, and I can feel a small blister forming between them.<p>

All throughout the party, I hear a voice nagging me in the back of my head. My boyfriend's sick while I'm at a party. I feel guilty for having fun while he's in bed, coughing up his other lung from the way he sounds on the phone.

I decide to say my good-byes and head to Mike's home. Maybe I'll make him some soup.

I pull to the curb in front of Mike's townhouse and see a purple Volkswagen Beetle parked in my spot. That's not Mike's car.

"Mike," I call out, letting myself in, leaving the keys in the deadbolt. "Honey, I was just coming by to see how you were feeling." I hear a crash come from the floor above and slowly move towards the stairs. The pieces start falling together rather quickly. The strange pair of heels in the foyer, the lingering scent of perfume, and the giggling. Lots of high pitched giggling.

I sigh and give in to the sick desire to confirm my suspicions. It's clear Mike isn't sick, and I know for sure that his assistant, Jessica, is not a medical professional. In fact, I'm willing to bet that the only thing medical related she does know was how much Plan B cost. That, and how much lube is needed for rectal thermometers, or anything rectal for that matter.

Just as I'm about to enter the bedroom, I collide into a topless Jessica, quickly followed by a naked Mike. "I see you're feeling much better." I desperately want to scream and yell, but I know it won't make a damn bit of difference. Instead, I do what I do best and let myself feel nothing. I'll deal with my emotions later; now is not the time to show weakness.

"Bella! Shit! What are you doing here?" Mike's eyes are wide, darting between the two of us.

"Well, I was thinking how horrible it was that you were home sick and alone while I was at the party."

"I swear it's not what it looks like..."

I hold up my hand. "That's what you're going with?"

He swallowed and nodded.

"Alright then, I'll just see myself out." I turn and descend the stairs as quickly as I can without falling.

I'm almost to the bottom when I hear Jessica ask Mike, "I thought you said she'd lost weight."

I let all sense leave me, and I run as quickly as I can to my car and drive home on autopilot.

Later, after a long shower, a bottle of wine and a good purging cry, I settle in on the couch and take a long look at myself.

I am average-in hair and eye color, height and weight. I'm not skinny, but I'm not eating eight thousand calories a day, either. I'm a size ten or twelve, depending on the clothing. Like I said, average. I work for a newspaper doing the movie reviews and sometimes fill in for Alice, the girl who writes the daily horoscopes. I'm smart, I can be funny, and I've always gotten along with people. So what is it about me that drives men to be unfaithful or gay, my pets to run away, and have the most mundane existence known to mankind?

* * *

><p>The next chapter should be posted mid of next week. Hoping to get a jump start on the next few chapters so I can establish some sort of posting schedule.<p>

Thanks for reading!


	2. Scones

Hello again! The response to this little story has blown me away!

Thank you to the beautiful **kas90** for her quick beta work! **107yearoldvirgin, Kitsushel** and **BellaSunshine** for the prereading and WC's. You ladies are incredible.

* * *

><p><em>Two and a Half Weeks Later<em>

I step off the treadmill and wipe the machine down. It's really gross when you see someone sweat all over something and then leave it dirty. I'm totally gross and dirty; working out isn't exactly my thing. I grew up with a PB&J and thirty minutes of the _Andy Griffith Show._ My mom liked to cram in nutrition and morals in half an hour.

Plus, cleaning the machines is a rule. I follow the rules. That is always one of Jake's complaints. I don't know how to live, or some crap like that. He's always off with Paul, anyway. _Paul's more fun than you_, his voice echoes in my mind. Paul also has a dick. I clearly do not.

I shower and dress, after checking myself out in the mirror, and sigh. I've been going to the gym for almost three weeks now and busting my ass five days a week, and I still don't see results. Everything I read online says that it takes at least four to six weeks before I see a difference, but I don't have that kind of patience. It's not a part of the plan.

After setting Mike's things on fire, I made a resolution. I will no longer settle for being average and I will do what it takes to be above average. The local news station is going on a hiring blitz, and I submitted my resume and was already called for an interview. I'll be damned if I don't nail that thing. If I worked at the station, I'd work next to Rosalie Hale and Tanya Marshankov. They are known as the "Babes of the Airwaves." I can't make that shit up, Playboy did.

My phone rings and brings me out of my self-loathing daze. Maybe I should consider plastic surgery. Someone online must know somewhere I can get my tits to defy gravity instead of agree with it. A little nip and tuck wouldn't hurt either, because clearly the gym isn't working. My phone chimes again and lets me know I'm going to be late meeting Alice at a nearby coffee shop.

Quickly gathering all my things, I rush out and bump into someone. I only stop when someone calls out my name. I turn and see a gorgeous man holding out my YMCA membership lanyard. The fact that this fine piece of man might potentially be working out next to me in the future scares me. He's the embodiment of perfection, and I clearly need to call a plastic surgeon and find a new place to work out.

"Bella, as in Spanish for beautiful?" the stranger asks.

"Yeah, that's me. Thanks for finding this." I take my ID from him and hold it up. I give him a slight smile and leave. I glance over my shoulder as the mystery man stands in the middle of the lobby and stares at me. It's a good thing he's so fucking handsome, because he sure as shit doesn't have a lot going on above those muscular shoulders.

I plop down in the chair across from Alice and can't wait to dig into my scone.

"Didn't you just come from working out?" Alice asks me as she raises an eyebrow, judging me.

"Yup." I break off a piece and shove it in my mouth. "This is so good," I moan appreciatively.

"I'm sure," Alice's voice is dripping in sarcasm. I may be able to dip my scone in it.

"I mean, I'd sell my soul for a lifetime of these," I exaggerate. Kind of.

Alice does a spit take and excuses herself. She comes back from the restroom more composed.

"Are you okay?"

"I'm good. You just caught me off guard."

"What about?"

"That stuff about your soul." She tries to sound casual, but I feel like she's mentally sizing me up.

"What about it?" I pop another piece of deliciousness in my mouth.

"Would you really give it up for something so small as a scone?"

"A lifetime of scones," I correct her.

"That's all it takes, huh?"

"No, not really."

"What would it take?" She folds her arms on the table and leans forward.

"Uh, I dunno. I've never really thought about it before." I shrug and lean back in my chair.

It's as if she can read my mind and gives me a moment to think. "If you were going to give your soul for something, what would it be for?"

"Is this like the thing where you have three wishes but you can't wish for more than the original three?"

"Lump it all together, like a package deal."

Suddenly, I feel my skin crawl, and I break into goosebumps. Something isn't right; then again, I can hear the air conditioning kick on.

"What is it that you want, Bella?"

"Do you actually believe in that stuff, though? Souls, and heaven, and hell?" I divert her question.

"I do the horoscopes because I believe in it, not for the paycheck. Trust me." Alice takes a long pull from her coffee. "I think everyone has a soul that goes some place after the body dies. It depends on how you live your life, I suppose. If you live a good and honest life, I believe a person will be rewarded in the hereafter. If a person doesn't, well, that's not really up to me to say where it goes." Something about the way she phrases things makes me think that she's literally in charge of souls. It's weird.

"Do _you_ believe in the afterlife?" She continues with her line of thoughts.

"I never really thought about it." I might have thought about it a long time ago, but it's been a long time since I've been to church, and I've been busy.

"Clearly, if you are willing to give your soul away for scones. You didn't answer my question before," she pauses, "about what you would sell it for, a lump sum if you will."

* * *

><p>So what did you think of the first real chapter? Love it or hate it?<p>

Next chapter on Thursday!

Thanks for reading!

PS the newest chap of _Rounding Third_ is up!


	3. Cookies

The response was astounding to the last chapter! Thank you all so much! I just posted the next chapter of Rounding Third, and the next needed some MAJOR reworking, so my plans for back-to-back posting has been delayed.

Many thanks to my pre-readers, **107yearoldvirgin **and **BellaSunshine**. My speedy beta is **Kas90** (she writes _Strawberry Wine._ Go read it.)

* * *

><p>"A lump sum? As in, everything I've ever wanted?" I clarify.<p>

She nods. This conversation has taken a bizarre twist. I thought we were going to have a coffee and gossip about Lauren Mallory and the two grapefruits she recently had bolted to her chest. I scan the room, trying to give myself time to think. My eyes land on a copy of _USA Today _where Edward Cullen is on the cover. He's the most successful land developer since Donald Trump, and his hair is real.

"Edward Cullen," I declare.

Alice looks like she's about to do another spit take, and I subtly try to lean off to the side so I won't get sprayed like the people who sit in the front row at Sea World or a Gallagher show.

"Edward Cullen." She nods approvingly. "Do you want sex or love?" she asks.

"Both, I guess." I shrug. I don't want to admit I'm tired and lonely and tired of being alone.

"You'd sell your soul for a man; at least that's better than a lifetime of scones." It sounds like she's giving me credit for my epic level of unhappiness.

"Well, not just a man. It'd have to be Edward Cullen. If I'm going for broke here, I'd also like to be beautiful, have an extremely successful career, and be able to eat a lifetime of anything and not gain an ounce. If all that could happen, I'd go for eternal damnation."

"What do you define as extremely successful? You have that interview coming up, right? What's to say you can't work your way up?"

"I'm twenty-eight. The time for making my way up the corporate ladder is over."

"You have it in you to be successful, Bella. You just have to try."

"I'm sick of trying, Alice. I feel like I try, and try, and try, and I keep hitting this wall." I'm getting a little tired of her prodding and change the direction of the discussion; I ask her what it would take for her soul to be on the black market.

"Who says I haven't already?" She raises an eyebrow. I choke on my drink and stare at her.

"Whatever." I roll my eyes and stare out the window. Now I'm feeling weirded out and not feeling all that great. Instead I go for a complete turnaround and mention the interview again and how nervous I'm feeling. I don't have anything to wear, and Alice is somewhat stylish. She constantly brags about the deals she gets, and since I'm not exactly rolling in dough (like Edward Cullen, I mentally add), I'd like her to help me. She's more than eager to help, and we make plans for the next day.

-StK-

It's a few days after our coffee date, and Alice and I are shopping at a higher-end mall. We initially planned on it being the next day, but she had a friend unexpectedly show up on her doorstep. Thankfully, there hasn't been that much of a discussion about the after-life and the supernatural, unless of course she's yammering about Dean from _Supernatural_.

She assures me that we'll find something within my budget. We have plans to grab dinner and drinks afterward. I was initially going to go to the gym but figured that it wasn't really helping, and I'd much rather spend time with a friend than get sweaty and gross for no reason.

We find a few options and decide to put the items on hold. We'll eat and drink, then we'll pick out something for sure, and hopefully I can look spectacular for my interview. We're at dinner, a tasty little bistro called Eclipse, known for its tapas and martinis.

After we plow through the empanadas and some key lime pie martinis in no time, I'm feeling good, like _really_ good. My teeth are tingling, and the icicle lights hanging over the table seem to sparkle a little bit brighter.

"So, I wanted to talk to you about something." Alice seems hesitant and cautious, as if I'm going to tell her no.

"Okay." I take a sip of my drink and wave my hand for another round while nodding to her to continue. I'm an A-plus multi-tasker.

"Remember when we were having that conversation about souls and stuff?" she hedges.

Now I _am_ feeling hesitant. While I remember the conversation, I was also left with the impression she wanted it to continue. I answer her with a simple nod.

"What if it could happen?" Her voice is low, almost so low I miss it.

"What about it?" My attention is now focused only on her. Fuck the drinks.

"I mean," she says louder, "what if I could make it happen?"

"I think we've had too many drinks and should call it a night." Part of me is intrigued, and the other part of me, the part that resembles reason, is looking for the quickest exit. My skin starts to tingle, as if I've been sweating and then hit by a cool breeze. It's refreshing.

"Are you sure?" She grabs my hand from across the table. Her grip is firm and catches me off guard. Suddenly she doesn't look that intoxicated, and her eyes are scanning the room, but it feels like I'm still in her line of sight.

I begin to stutter, my mind racing about the different ways this could go. I could bolt out of Eclipse and be home by myself, _again. _I have the option to stay and listen to the drunk ramblings of a vertically challenged person. I weigh the choices and decide that I really don't have anywhere else to be.

I'd always thought Alice was kind of a kooky chick. She's nice enough, and we have a lot of similar interests, and our senses of humor line up nicely. She was one of the few people I could get along with at work that I didn't constantly imagine stapling her hair to a desk.

"Just hear me out, and if you don't like what I have to say, then we can go. If you want to hear more, then I think we need to move this conversation to a quieter location." Her voice took on a coaxing tone, as if I was a frightened squirrel and she had all the nuts in the world.

"Alice Brandon, I thought that was you," a voice says from behind me.

"Jasper. It's been a while." Alice sighs and lets go of my hand. She sits back in her chair, and a resigned look comes over her face. "Bella, this is Jasper," she pauses. "is it Whitlock or Hale, I can never remember." This is the first time I've ever seen Alice look unfriendly, and to be honest, it scares me. A lot.

"Whitlock. Bella, it's lovely to meet you." I finally see the man that Alice is scowling at. He's drop dead gorgeous, and if I was better than average, I'd even think I could begin to flirt. My social skills are not that great. I'm almost convinced my parents had to legally let me out of the house at some point, despite their constant embarrassment of my inept ramblings.

"Nice to meet you." I fight the urge to gawk at his perfection. He almost looks angelic because his skin, while pale, is almost iridescent. His eyes are bright, and there's a smile playing on his lips; there's a secret he's in on, and he's incredibly amused. It's a good look for him.

"I'm not sure what you're doing here," she says.

"I think you know exactly why I'm here."

"Did you just get into town?" I chime in.

"I actually got in a couple days ago. I just moved to the area, and I'm doing some sightseeing this evening." He smiles, and I feel my heart start to beat a little faster.

"I have everything under control," Alice declares, her voice more firm. She's confident that she has _something_ under control. I have no fucking clue what's going on, but the sexual tension between them is palpable.

"If you did, then I wouldn't be here, now would I?" I feel like their speaking in riddles, and I'm about to tell them to knock off the banter and get a room already. There's no doubt that there is a history, and I can't wait to hear more. They're just repeating their arguments like it's going to change something.

"Why don't we take this conversation back to your place," Jasper suggests; Alice nods her head in agreement. Her body posture is different, and her shoulders are slumped. She doesn't seem like the confident person she was a few minutes ago; she's resigned.

As they pass, Jasper offers his hand to help me out of my chair. He pulls me close, and I blush at the contact. It's weird, they both smell the same, despite his cologne and her perfume; I can tell they're covering up something else. The strange thing is that they both smell like Grandma Swan's oatmeal cookies.

* * *

><p>So there you have it.<p>

Thoughts? Love it or hate it? Lemme know. Next chapter will be up on Monday!

Cheers!


	4. The Apple

Hi there! I know that this was supposed to come out yesterday, but I'll be honest-I got a wicked case of food poisoning after being in the sun all day. It sucks.

Mad love to my pre-readers **107yearoldvirgin**(thank you for your rec on your story!) and **BellaSunshine. Kas90** beta's this story and is all sorts of wonderful and sweet.

I'll tell you now, this is one of my fave chapters. Oh! I'm fully aware that each chapter has been named after food, and it's totally weird, and I swear I'm not doing it on purpose.

* * *

><p>The three of us arrive at Alice's apartment. Alice drives us in her Toyota Corolla and Jasper follows us in his Lamborghini Diablo. Based on the topic of conversation tonight, the irony is not lost.<p>

We settle in; I snuggle on the couch under a cozy blanket while Alice and Jasper look as if they're about to melt into the floor if they get within three feet of each other. It's pretty fucking obvious they know each other in the biblical sense. She finally gives in and allows Jasper sit across from me while she stomps into the kitchen to make coffee.

"Are you cold, Bella?" Jasper actually looks concerned as he takes in my huddled form. "Would you like me to start a fire?"

"I don't have a fireplace, asshole," Alice yells from the kitchen. It's true, she doesn't, so unless he's going to start burning phone books on her coffee table, this could be interesting.

"You _should,_" he sings. Yeah, he has a pretty voice when he's speaking, but when he's using _that _tone, it's lovely. "I know how fond you are of warmer weather."

"Please don't start." Alice appears with three mugs. She looks resigned, as if she knows Jasper isn't going anywhere anytime soon. "There's no need to make any grand gestures right now."

"What the hell is going on?" I pipe up.

"Bella, if you could change three things about yourself in this very second, what would they be?" Jasper leans back on the couch and folds his hands behind his head.

His question catches me off guard. "Uhm, I don't know."

"Surely you've thought about it," Alice prodded. "In fact, I know you have. You were just bitching about how much you hate working out."

The midget's right. "Okay, so my overall body image for certain. I'd love to be thirty pounds lighter and my boobs to be nice and round and my nipples to be at a ninety degree angle from the floor." I run my fingers through my hair and feel how dry and flat it is. "My hair, I'd love for it to be shiny and slightly curly."

"So a nice body and pretty hair?" Jasper rolls his eyes. "Do better, Bella. Deep down, what is it that you really want?"

"To be noticed," I blurt out.

"More specific." Jasper leans forward and rests his elbows on his knees. He's really intrigued by my answer.

"I want to be appreciated for my work; I want men to notice me and be interested in me. I want to be successful and people notice me when I walk into a room. I want to be the woman that makes heads turn in a crowded restaurant and stops traffic."

"What if I said I-we could make that happen," Jasper asks and quickly corrects himself when he's elbowed in the ribs.

"Whatever. You're going to pay for my gym membership for a month?" I feel vulnerable. I've openly confessed to some of my biggest desires to this strange, gorgeous man.

"Come with me." _If you want to live,_ I mentally add. Jasper stands and offers his hand, which I willingly take. He pulls me up and we head to Alice's room. He leads me to a large, floor-length mirror leaning against the wall.

"Look at yourself." He presses his body against mine, his chest to my back. We stare at our reflections, but nothing is extraordinary. I look plain in my jeans and long-sleeve t-shirt. My limp hair hangs over my shoulders, my thighs are slightly larger than my waist, and I am the embodiment of a pear. "Close your eyes," he whispers.

I do as he says, and I can feel his hands ghosting over my body. "Imagine what you'd like to see in the mirror." I feel a warm and tingling sensation begin at the roots of my scalp and begin to flow downward. I imagine the shiny, bouncy hair of a shampoo model, the body of one of my favorite actresses and the legs of an athlete. I envision a slinky black evening gown, my shoes are high end designer, and I feel beautiful; I feel confident and sexy.

Jasper's fingertips run up and down my shoulders, and damn it, I'm getting aroused. He gently moves my hair from my shoulders and wraps his arms around my waist.

"Open your eyes, Bella." I open my eyes and gasp. I pee myself a little, too. I'm dreaming; I have to be. There's no fucking way this is actually happening.

The person in the mirror matches my imagination. "You're beautiful, Bella. Absolutely stunning, if I say so myself." He grins and pulls back a little, my body missing the heat and craving the sensual way he felt near me.

"What the _fuck_ is going on?" I demand. "This-this person, how the fuck did you do that?" I look from him to the mirror and back again. My voice is coming from the glamorous vision, but something isn't computing. I want to keep looking at the pretty boy, but the girl in the mirror is even more attractive, and that pretty girl is _me._

"Is this not what you wanted?" Jasper frowns but has a twinkle in his eye.

"It is, but how did you do this? How did you know?" There's no way this man can read my mind, and I have to be asleep. I clearly drank too many martinis with Alice, and soon I'm going to wake up and find I'm still in my clothes from the day before.

"It's a gift." He shrugs.

"I'll say." I lean closer to the mirror, and I'm even more impressed. It looks like I have almost no make-up on, that my appearance is naturally alluring. I want to keep pushing and nagging until he tells me what's happening, but I don't want to look a gift horse in the mouth either. My mouth is now slightly pouty and I totally want someone to kiss. I can have anyone now.

"Don't be a jerk," Alice says from behind him. She looks pissed, but when she focused on me, her face softens, and I see my friend again. "You look stunning, Bella. I'd go gay for you."

"You knew about this?" I screech. My heart is beating double and triple time; my emotions are a mix between astonishment, awe, and I'm slightly-okay-really-scared-out of-my-fucking-mind. I take a deep breath and tell myself that I'm not going to have a heart attack, because it's not real.

"Of course I did." She makes it sound so simple, but I know that what's happening is anything but.

"I think I need to sit down." I need to regain my cool and compose myself, plus I'm not used to four inch Jimmy Choo's-yeah I looked. They kinda hurt. Should shoes hurt in a dream? I sink down on Alice's bed and stare at nothing in particular.

"Don't get too comfortable now," Alice says, sitting next to me and throwing an arm over my shoulder. She was wearing jeans and an Ann Taylor Loft button down, but in an instant is now wearing a red, sparkly dress, similar to mine, except her gown has a long slit up the side. Jasper is no longer in his flannel and dusty jeans and is wearing something like Bradley Cooper did in the _The Hangover_; you know the one, the all black suit in the hotel scene.

For the first time in my life, I feel like an equal. I've now had a giant makeover, and I feel as gorgeous as they look. "Where are we going?" I raise my eyebrows and don't have to wait for an answer.

"Out, silly. This is only part of what you wanted. We're going to get you noticed."

"Let's go," I say, standing and loving how I feel suddenly brave. _Confident._ I toss my hair over my shoulder and leave the room, leading the charge. I look back at Alice and Jasper, both are grinning; Jasper gives her slight bump with her hip, and she takes his arm when he offers.

That's when I remember another part of what I wanted. I don't want to be lonely anymore. "Jasper, what if there was something else I wanted, besides being noticed?"

"What did you have in mind?" he asks, but I have the feeling he already knows.

"Love. I want love and companionship."

"Get a dog?" Alice suggests.

"I'm allergic. Look, let's be clear about something here. You two are doing something, weird, and I think I'm doing pretty well on the whole not screaming thing, right?" They both nod in agreement. "Good, so sooner rather than later, you two are going to give me an explanation about what in the hell is going on, yes?"

"Yes," they answer together.

"Great." I clap my hands twice. "When do I stop being Cinderella and go back to being the pumpkin?"

"Tonight is a trial run, Bella. If anything goes wrong, if you're unhappy in any way, shape or form, you will wake up in your street clothes and have no recollection of anything that happens tonight."

"And if I'm completely happy?" I hedge.

"Then we can grab breakfast-I hear you like scones- and we'll talk about ways of making this permanent. Tonight isn't about the details, though. Tonight, it's about getting you noticed, and who knows, maybe Mr. Right will be there. Wouldn't that be something?"

It really would be something, but I doubt it. I'm still thinking this isn't even real. I'm not putting my eggs all in one basket for tonight. Right now, I'd just like to see if I can even get someone to pay attention to me.

"We're wasting time! Where should we go, baby?" Alice purrs. Any animosity between her and Jasper is gone now, and before the night is over, they're going to reacquaint themselves soon enough.

"Isn't the Seattle Children's Hospital Gala tonight?"

"That was invitation only." I look at him with an expression that clearly reads _'duh'. _Anyone with half a brain and a seven figure bank account goes to that Gala.

"Which is why I procured three invitations." He reaches into his pocket and pulls out the, invites which are much larger than a pocket should be. _How the hell did he do that? It's a dream, dumb-ass. _My inner voice says, but a deeper part of me is telling me that this is all very real.

"I don't know if I'm ready for a big bash like that. Can't we just go to a club or something?" I throw in my suggestion.

"Bella." She sighs. "If you want to be noticed, those aren't the people you want to be noticed by." Now it's Alice's turn to look like I have an arm growing out of my forehead.

"They aren't?" I stupidly ask.

"No," Alice and Jasper say together, with a bit of annoyance in their voices.

Jasper repeats his diatribe about our outing being an experiment and then makes a very valid point. "If we go to a club, you're going to be hit on, have your ass smacked and brought down to a level _you're better than_ by a bunch of degenerates. I want you to experience the best of the best, to know exactly what to expect every day." It's the first time I've ever been told I'm above someone, and I'm not sure how I feel about it, but I _do_ know that I don't feel bad about it.

"Besides." Alice roves her eyes over my body, and I can't help but blush. She releases Jasper's arm and comes over to me, pulling me to my feet. "You're gorgeous, and I would hate to see this dress be spoiled by a nobody with a _Red Bull and vodka _wearing a five dollar wristband not watching where he's going." She frowns at the clearly pedestrian drink.

A sly smile crosses her face, and she continues, "A dress like this." she gently moves her fingers lightly up and down my arm, and I might be slightly turned on, "needs to be ruined by champagne and the by the hands of a man who can appreciate and worship a woman properly." She circles around me, dragging her nails lightly over my shoulders, and I imagine a man running his soft, strong hands over my body, and I shiver at the thought, the anticipation of what could be.

I open my eyes and stare at her; she smirks, knowing what she's done to me. She raises an eyebrow and waits for me to say something.

"Let's go."

* * *

><p>Love it? Hate it? Let me know!<p>

The next chapter features the devil! Reviewers get teasers!

**I feel the need to add a disclaimer about something in an earlier chapter. I'M AWARE THAT BELLA IS ITALIAN, AND NOT SPANISH. IT WAS A JOKE. **

Cheers!

Anne


	5. Champagne Wishes and Caviar Dreams

Wow, just wow. The response to the last chapter, thanks in part to **107yearoldvirgin **and **BellaSunshine **has been astonishing. I'm truly humbled by all of your wonderful, kind words. I appreciate every single alert and PM.

I have now gotten into the habit of naming the chapters after food. I have zero idea why, but it works.

If you reviewed and I didn't get to respond, I apologize, I'm not used to responding to that many! My beta is the lovely and sweet **Kas90**.

I donated an outtake for the Fandom4SAA! It's an EPOV of Ch5! So if you're interested, please go donate to one of the many wonderful charities on their page.

Disclaimer: I don't own, but I do own a Charlie Daniels Band album.

* * *

><p>I can't seem to focus on just one thing. My mind is fluttering from the amazing dress I'm wearing and how my legs have muscle tone to my hair that now smells like strawberries and expensive perfume. I can't believe that my weekend plans have gone from sitting around feeling sorry for myself to crashing the most elite party in Seattle. I guess it's not crashing because Jasper does have invitations.<p>

We aren't riding in his Lamborghini right now, instead I'm sitting in the back of a large town car with Alice and Jasper; I don't even know who's driving. It's as if they can both sense my nerves and are trying to calm me down. I wish Jasper could just send me waves of calm, because the tone of his voice is starting to piss me off. But I can't tell him that because I'm so fucking grateful for the opportunity to be _someone_ tonight.

I look fucking hot-I know it, we all know it. That's the whole damn point.

We are in downtown Seattle when we get pulled over by a police cruiser. I can see Seattle Art Museum in the distance. I realize that we will be in the sculpture park. It finally hits me that this is not just high-brow, but almost hair line, impressive.

A knock on the window brings my attention to Jasper rolling down the window. "Yes, sir?" he asks.

"Is everything okay, folks?" The voice that answers, I know _that _voice. Sheriff Andy Taylor from _The Andy Griffith Show._ I flashback to my childhood, and I feel warm and gooey inside. Despite what's happening, anyone who can impersonate my favorite actor from Nick at Nite, can't be all that bad, right?

"Bella?" Jasper grins. "Are you okay?"

"I-I-I'm great," I barely stammer.

"Ma'am, is everything to your liking?" The man peers through the window, and I gasp. It _is_ Andy Taylor. Now I know this can't be real, because _Matlock_ was over twenty years ago, and he was really old. Just another sign that this is all a dream.

"Everything is amazing." I blush a little because I think the good lawman is staring at my legs.

"Have these two been treating you well?" He peers closer, and I do the same, and I can't be sure but I think his eyes are mustard yellow. It's weird, but for some reason, it kind of works. "All your needs have taken care of, I presume?"

"Absolutely, I couldn't be happier," I assure him.

"Fantastic." He taps the hood of the town car and tells us to enjoy our evening.

"What the hell was that?" I glance at Alice and she just shrugs. "Okay, Jasper, what the hell was that?"

"I guess you could say he's our boss? "Jasper shrugs like Alice did, but the way he does it conveys a higher level of confidence.

"But how-" I'm cut off when Alice declares we have arrived. The car stops in front of the museum, and I'm blown away at the scene in front of me.

Alice and I each take an arm, Jasper sweeping us into the party, leading us into a different world I would have never known existed if not for my two new friends. Giant spotlights mark the entrance, and everyone is decked out to the nines, just like the three of us. Glittering lights are strung throughout the trees, giving an enchanted feeling to the party. In the distance, I hear a symphony quartet and it's like we're entering another world.

I immediately spot a few Seahawks as well as some other athletes. I recognize a few national news anchors and our state senators. I'm trying to ignore the fact that all eyes are on us, and even better, on _me. _I feel a rush go through me, that these people-gorgeous and amazing and powerful people- are taking notice of little ole me. I smile and nod as we pass people, and Alice heads off in another direction.

"How are you feeling, beautiful?" Jasper murmurs in my ear. "Everyone is looking at you, wondering who you are, talking about you."

"They are?" I squeal for a moment and bury my face in his lapels. He laughs and wraps his arms around me for a tight hug.

"Yes, they are." He chuckles.

There are catering tables and a few bars scattered throughout the lawn, and my stomach rumbles. I glance at my watch, a sparkly Rolex and not my Fossil from the Sears clearance section, and I realize that it's late. Normally about this time I would scarf down a pint of ice cream without thinking twice, feeling miserable for myself and hating my life. This is so much better than that.

"Are you ready to mingle, Bella?" Alice appears with three glasses of champagne.

I take a large gulp and nod. I'm so ready for this. Jasper puts his hand on my lower back and guides us through the crowd, and I'm introduced to all the famous people I spotted before. They laugh at my lame jokes, as if I'm Johnny Carson, and they are genuinely enchanted by me. The QB for the Seahawks discreetly asks for my number, and I give it to him. I find out later that he's married, so I throw his away when nobody is looking.

After a couple of hours, my feet are starting to hurt, and I am about to sit down when Alice tells me that there are some people she really wants me to meet.

She leads me over to a table where a handsome man and beautiful older woman are sitting. They introduce themselves as Carlisle and Esme Cullen. I'm not stupid that these are Edward Cullen's parents and that could mean he's somewhere on the museum grounds. My heart beats a little faster at the thought.

They begin asking me questions, and I realize that they are wonderful and lovely people. Carlisle founded an architecture firm and Esme is an interior decorator and that was how they met. It's a cute story, and then I feel like a jerk when they ask me what I do for a living. How do you tell two very successful people that you write boring blobs about nothing in particular?

"Our Bella is a reporter for the Times." Jasper catches me off guard and wraps an arm around my waist, almost in a possessive manner.

"Have you written anything I would have read, dear?" Esme asks, and she seems sweet as pie, but I can tell that there's something going on in that brain of hers. The hamster is working his wheel overtime.

"Probably not, I won't be at the Times for much longer, though," I offer. I slightly shrug because it's the best I can think of being caught off guard.

"We'll be at KING-5, starting Monday," Alice pipes in.

"How fantastic!" Esme claps her hands together. "I wonder if you'll be working with my son's girlfriend, Rosalie." My heart sinks at the thought of him being with someone else, but I can't be too upset, it's not like he knows me. If they're here and he's here, then she must be too. Crap.

"Is Edward here, Mrs. Cullen?" Jasper asks.

"He was here, but I haven't seen him for a bit." Her eyes scan the crown on the lawn.

"Maybe he's with Rosalie?" I suggest.

"She didn't come tonight," Carlisle rejoins the conversation. He takes a drink of his wine and I swear I heard him say, "Thank God."

Jasper and Alice snicker, and I brush it off as immaturity. Jasper rubs his thumb along the small of my back, and the champagne hits me. I gotta pee. Bad. I excuse myself from the small group and make my way towards the main building. I pass through the all the party guests, smiling and nodding, making promises to come back because they are demanding my attention. I've never felt so wanted, and it feels fucking fantastic.

Just as I resolve to do whatever it takes to make this change permanent, a waiter appears, offering me a canape. I decline, but there is something about him that makes me stop. His eyes are the same French's mustard as Andy Taylor's, and I can't help but wonder if they are the same person. Considering all the talk of the past few days, I know there is something supernatural at work but, I couldn't care less. I'm living on cloud nine.

"Miss, is everything to your liking?" the server asks.

"Absolutely." I can't help but grin a silly smile.

"Wonderful, enjoy your evening." He winks and the way he says it makes me realize that he is the same person from before. Dream or not, this is fucking confusing. Maybe it will all make more sense in the light of day. I sigh to myself and make it to the ladies' room in peace.

After making sure my make-up was flawless, although I don't remember putting any in my clutch, I make my way back to the party. I accidentally brush against someone, and I hear them yell, "Shit!"

I turn around to apologize, but words fail me when I realize I knocked a glass of red wine down the front of Edward Cullen's tux. Apparently all the beauty and elegance that Jasper and Alice gave me still didn't stop me from making an ass out of myself.

My words find me, and I rush to apologize. The yellow-eyed waiter appears with plenty of napkins. "Thanks," Edward mutters, not bothering to look up. I glance back at the man, and he winks again, nodding for me to go back to Edward. The waiter briefly looks at my ass, and then moves along. I get a good look at Edward Cullen, and he's even better looking in person than on the front of _USA Today. _His tux jacket is cut for his broad shoulders, and his pants are tailored perfectly for lean legs. Through all the material, I can tell, homeboy hits the gym.

"I'm so sorry," I apologize again. "I swear I didn't see you."

"I gathered that. "He chuckled. "I must admit, I've been hoping to talk to you tonight, but you've always been busy."

"_You_ noticed _me_?" My eyes go wide, and I can't believe that he took notice of me, because I hadn't seen him at all. He nods and raises an eyebrow. "Really?"

"Yeah. You've been the talk of the party."

"Really?" I know he's impressed with my extensive vocabulary.

"Yes, really." He gives a laugh, and it sounds beautiful.

"Edward Cullen," he introduces himself.

"Bella Swan." He extends his hand, and when I offer mine, he doesn't shake it, but lightly places a kiss on my knuckles. I gasp at the sensation of his warm lips on my skin, and I wonder if his lips will feel warm anywhere else on my body.

"Well, Bella Swan-" Edward is cut off when Jasper comes up behind me.

"There you are! We've been wondering what's holding you up." He puts his arm around me and for the first time, I don't like it. Edward gives a polite smile, but his eyes are bouncing between the two of us. Out of the corner of my eye, I see Alice shake her head, and he quickly moves his arm away.

The two men introduce themselves, but it feels like they're sizing each other up. I'm two seconds from asking Alice to pull out a ruler so they can measure their dicks. Now that's a thought, Edward Cullen's penis. Nice.

"So, Bella, what is it that you do?" Edward's attention is now on me and not on Jasper.

"I'm a journalist." The lies are easier and easier. I hope to be a serious journalist, and I'm hoping after my interview, I will be. I'll have to see if Alice and or Jasper can do something about that; I might as well ask since I'm just adding to my laundry list of wants and needs.

His expression isn't one that I would have hoped; I would have liked to have seen that he was impressed, but knowing that his girlfriend is Rosalie Hale, Seattle's Sweetheart, my guess is that I'm more like gum on his shoe.

Seeing his slight frown at my 'profession', I politely excuse myself before I die of complete humiliation. Alice follows me, and I tell her I'm ready to leave. She asks if I'm sure, and I tell her absolutely. She doesn't like this answer.

"Remember what you said a few days ago?" She places her tiny hands on my shoulders and turns me to face her in the eye. I blink, trying to remember. So much has happened in the past twelve hours, I can't remember three days ago. She sighs and glances back at Edward. "You said you'd sell your soul for a man like that. He's. Right. Fucking. There. Bella, I can make this happen. We'll talk details in the morning, but Jasper and I, we can take care of the girlfriend. It's your soul, damn it. Get everything you can for it." It almost sounds like she's pleading, but it's exactly the pep talk I need.

"Looking gorgeous is one thing that I'd love to have, but..." I let my voice trail off because I'm not entirely sure what to do. On one hand, I could truly have it all, then again, why not have a man, too? Would my looks and personality normally get a man like Edward to look at me twice? Probably not. I couldn't take that chance. I wanted it all. I let the greed consume me and make my decision. "You're right."

"Damn straight."

"You promise the girlfriend won't be an issue."

"Don't worry about it."

An idea hits me. "Please don't hurt her."

"Fine." Alice blows her bangs out of her face, but I can tell she's annoyed. I think she might get off on pain.

* * *

><p>So there you have it! You meet Eddie and the Devil.<p>

KING-5 is the NBC affiliate in Seattle.

Reviewers get teasers for ch5, which will be posted on Tuesday.


	6. Sushi and Goldfish

Hi there! I'm going to be real quick-the response I have gotten for this story has blown me away. Thank you so much to everyone has put me on alert.

Many thanks to **107yearoldvirgin, BellaSunshine, **and **BellaFlan **for pimping this out. **Virgy **and **BellaSunshine **are my prereaders and **Kas90** is my beta for this work of madness.

If you donate to the F4SAA, you'll find an EPOV for this chapter!

Thanks again!

* * *

><p>Alice whisks Jasper away, and I think the both of us can feel the heat of his glare as they retreat.<p>

"Would you like to sit down?" He eyes my legs, and I nod, because these things, as hot as I look, fucking suck. If I thought the shoes I was wearing when I busted Mike was bad, these are even worse. Now, that's a thought... I'd love for Mike and Jessica to see me now._ Losers._

He guides me to a table, and I moan like a whore when I finally sit. He moves his chair in front of me, and I'm so glad he reaches for my hand, because I'm craving his touch again. Part of me believes this pull I'm feeling towards him is real, but deep down I know this is manufactured. I want it to be real, but more importantly, I just want this man so badly and he's right..fucking...here.

I lower my voice, hoping it's sexy while simultaneously trying not to sound like a man, and I ask him to tell me something personal.

He looks thoughtful for a minute, and a slow smile spreads across his face. He's stroking his fingers along my palm in a sensual way, making my whole body tingles. "In college, I wanted to start a foundation to teach music to inner city kids."

"Wow." I'm impressed. He has depth and is obviously knowledgeable about more than Washington State real estate law, and I can't think of something equally as awesome. He's more than smart or handsome-he's compassionate and caring. He wants to better the lives of others. I could tell him I'm double-jointed in my right foot, but I doubt he'd like that. I look at the man in front of me, his eyes are earnest and he's staring at me; it feels like he's staring through me.

"I wish I had something as impressive to say, but compared to that, I don't have much." I smile at him but feel empty. I shift in my seat and try to think of something deep, but everything in my head sounds stupid.

"I find that hard to believe.'

"No, really. I don't."

"Try," he pushes. He's stops rubbing circles on my palm and is now lightly stroking my wrist with his fingers. It feels so good, and the feeling inside spreads everywhere. I come up with something to say, and if he still wants me after, then we're on track.

"I'm a fan of yours on Facebook." Just because it's a test, doesn't mean it's not embarrassing as hell. I feel my cheeks warm up, and I'm mortified and instantly regret my decision. I wonder if Sheriff Taylor or Jasper can reverse and maybe pause time to stop me in my stupidity. He just smiles in reply, probably thinking this is one of those times it's better to say nothing. Or maybe he just thinks I'm special, like a rare gem, or something sparkly...

Before he can answer, I change the topic and mention how lovely the museum is lit at night. Just because he's rich and powerful, he's just like any other man. He's distracted by shiny, pretty things and in this case, it's lights in trees. I just hope his attention will be on me. I kinda sparkle in this dress, and thanks to whatever the hell is going on, I'm freaking hot, dude. I still can't believe I'm seeing me when I look in the mirror.

He asks me where I come from and what my childhood was like, and I give him the bare minimum of details. Does he really want to hear about how my mom was a deadbeat and my dad was too busy shacking up with various widows on the nearby Indian reservation to deal with me? Probably not. Especially after meeting the Golden Couple less than an hour ago.

Instead I ask him about his upbringing, and I'm surprised he doesn't mention white picket fences and apple pies cooling on the windowsill. We spend at least another hour making each other laugh about our college experiences. I share with him the time my roommate Angela and I greased three large pigs and labeled them numbers one, two and four and let them loose on the U-Dub campus. He tells me about the time his frat brother, Alec and him, had a goldfish eating contest and to this day, he still can't look at sushi without feeling guilty.

Our conversation is slowing down, and I take in the scene before me, some people are looking at us, others are starting to leave. I peek at him from the corner of my eye, and when he catches me, I can't help but smile, and he smiles back, and I can't stop the happy feeling growing inside me.

"Do you wanna get out of here?" he asks out of nowhere. I was hoping he'd ask, but I didn't think he'd be so direct about it.

I tell him that I'd like that and I need to tell Alice and Jasper that I'm taking off. I hope they aren't going to be mad at me. I don't know why they would be if they are; this is what I wanted, this is what we were all working towards. Edward nods and heads off in the direction of his parents, and I walk towards Alice, who is smiling wide and urging me to go.

"This is what we're here for," she repeats my thoughts of earlier. "Go have fun." She winks.

"You sure about this, Bella? I know he's what you want, but be careful. Just remember, he's got a girlfriend, and whether they're happy or not, it's-"

"What the fuck is your problem?" Alice snaps. "I told you I'd take care of Rosalie, why don't you shut the hell up?"

"Are you serious right now? I need to make sure all bases are covered! If you had done this properly the first time around, I wouldn't need to be here," Jasper rages.

"Yeah, look at your surroundings right now. You poor, suffering little bitch. You're stuck here instead of the Caribbean." Alice folds her arms, and I can tell she's getting pissed. Her eyes have gone from blue to black, and I want to ask her how she did that. "For the record, I was doing just fine. I can't help it if you come a little early." I laugh out loud.

"I'm freezing!" He cups his hands around his mouth, warming them up.

"Uh, Jasper, it's at least seventy-five degrees right now," I chime in.

"I'm used to at least at least ninety, and would some humidity fucking kill anyone?" Jasper folds his arms, and wait-is he _pouting_?

"Bella, ignore him. He gets whiny when he doesn't get to piss is someone's Cheerios every twenty minutes." Alice grins, and I get the feeling that she's spot on and I see Jasper's eyes have turned black as well.

"Just remember, Bella, you wouldn't want to be a Jessica, now would you?" Jasper's voice is deceptively calm. I don't like it.

"What the hell?" Alice pokes his chest, and he winces. "Would you just stop talking already?"

"Why don't you make me by putting your mouth on my cock like a good little minion," he sneers.

"And...that's my cue to go." I _really_ don't want to hear the rest of this.

"Bella, go and have a great time." She leans up and kisses me on the cheek. "I promise Jasper and I will handle the girlfriend issue." I nod and turn. I hear her start in on Jasper in what sounds like Latin, but all I can really focus on is the gorgeous man in a tux, staring at me like I was something to eat.

I slowly approach him, slightly swaying my hips, trying to be sexy. It works because he manages to squeak out, "Everything okay?" He pulls me to his side, and we fit perfectly, and I know if it weren't for my extreme makeover, I wouldn't be so snug or smug. I fight the urge to grab his ass in the middle of all these people.

"I'm great." I smile, because I really am feeling fantastic. We leave the party and ignore everyone staring at us. We get to the curb, and his driver is waiting for us. He greets us with a nod, and I slide in, doing my best not to pull a Britney. After we're settled and the car starts moving, Edward tries to begin a conversation, but I'm pretty sure that the semi he's sporting doesn't care about my career.

I'm overcome with an urge to explore the chemistry between us. I lean over to kiss him as the car turns, and my body lurches forward, and I press my mouth against his, hard. For a split second, it crosses my mind that, _holy shit_, I'm kissing Edward Cullen. The man, that four days ago, had me staring at his picture in a newspaper, is now pulling my leg over his lap.

I press my body more against his, loving the way his hands feel traveling up my thigh, through the slit of my dress. I moan as I slide my fingers through his hair, and it's so soft, I never want to let go. The car hits a bump, and I find the semi from earlier is now a full on eighteen wheeler. I'm surprised, and he smirks, because he knows-of course he would-he's been proudly donning a trucker hat for thirty-plus years. However, the pause gives enough time for Jasper's words to sink in. _"You wouldn't want to be another Jessica, now would you?"_

No, no I don't. My past three relationships have gone zero and three because of infidelity; and however much it pains me to turn down this man, I need to do it.

I slowly slide off Edward's lap and sigh. "Maybe we shouldn't do this."

"Yeah, my place is much more comfortable." He leans in, and I give him a chaste kiss to avoid fanning the flames under my skirt.

I explain that we shouldn't follow through with what we were about to do and apologize for confusing behavior, but I know it's for the best.

I think he's going to agree with me, but then he starts with , "Look, I barely know you, and you clearly know me, so if you're freaked out about expectations because of who I am-" I laugh and suddenly, I can't wait to get out of this car. I give the driver my address and ask him to take me home when Edward tells me it's not a big deal that he's with someone else.

"Bella, please don't deny that there is something between us. I know you feel it, too".

"I do." I nod, but I can't look at him. I feel it, and I've never had something so attainable only then deny myself of it before. I don't like it, not a bit. Then I tell him that I've been cheated on too many times, and I refuse to be _that _woman.

"If I dumped Rose, would that be enough for you?" I nod, and he promises me that I should consider it done. We pull in front my apartment building, and I give him a slow kiss on the cheek, squeezing his hand, hoping he understands that I'm not mad.

Felix opens the door while I fish around for my keys in my clutch, and he asks, "Wait, how am I supposed to call you?"

""You're Edward Cullen. You can find me." I wink, trying to be coy, but I think it looks like a nervous tick.

I climb the stairs to my apartment, fighting the urge to see if he's still there. By the time I get to my bedroom window, he's gone. I'm not entirely sure what to do with myself, so I text Alice that I'm home, _alone. _

I slip out of my dress and into a comfy pair of yoga pants that are entirely too big and a t-shirt that dwarfs me. I have no idea what tomorrow what will entail, but I know it's going to be a long day.

I think back on how much has changed in the past twenty-four hours. When I woke up, I felt frumpy but somewhat hopeful about a job interview to help move things along. Since Jasper appeared out of nowhere, they have both made me glamorous, successful and allowed me to catch the eyes of a man whom I've desired for so long-plus half of the Seattle offensive line.

I realize now that it's not a dream, and this could very well be my everyday reality. I think of a few more things to add to the list, if I'm going to sell my soul. I want to be able to eat all the scones and drink all the fattening lattes I want without gaining a pound. I want to be flawless, just like I was tonight, for as long as they'll let me. I want to be successful and make my parents proud, but more than anything, I want love. I want to love and be loved-without the creepy fascination, like watching me sleep in a rocking chair in the corner. That shit is just wrong.

I feel myself dozing, but I also feel myself changing. My pants that were too big are now starting to fit snugly. I get up and run to the mirror, and sure enough-my hair is slowly becoming frizzy, my freckles are more prominent, and my cellulite is back in full force. I feel the tears start to form as I see myself go back to the way I was.

Growing up, I always thought my life would end up being a fairytale, but my reality was more a nightmare. I will do anything to stay the way I was this evening. I will even go as far as selling my soul.

* * *

><p>So, the decision has been made! Thoughts or questions, please let me know!<p>

Next chapter will be up sometime this week. Not sure when.

Cheers!

Anne


	7. Hemoglobin and Cranberry Scones

Hi there! Thank you all so much for everyone who has put this story on alert or favorites. I have to give props to so many people. Many thanks to **107yearoldvirgin, BellaSunshine, and BellaFlanfor** rec'ing this story via their own stories and on twitter. The response has been amazing and no amount of words can convey my level of appreciation for everyone out there.

**107yearoldvirgin** and **BellaSushine **preread and the beautiful **Kas90** beta'd this chapter. I'm nothing without you ladies.

A lot happens in this chapter, so...yeah. See you at the bottom.

* * *

><p>I wake up because there's a heavy knocking on my door. I glance at the clock and see that it's not even seven in the morning. It's Sunday, so I have no idea who could be pounding on my door. I get out of bed to answer the door, when I catch my reflection from the corner of my eye.<p>

I turn around and fully study myself, and everything comes back, full force. I'm not the beautiful version I was twelve hours ago; the ugly duckling has returned-bringing zits along for the ride. I mutter a few curse words and make my way to the door because the banging has gotten louder, and I don't want to wake my neighbors.

Looking through the peephole, I see Alice holding a coffee tray and a pink box tied with a string. I know instantly it's from my favorite bakery, and I can only hope she got my favorite scones, but I'd take a muffin. I open the door, and Alice pushes her way in with a cheery, "Good morning." I hear thunder as I shut my door, which is weird because the forecast didn't call for rain.

"It's early." I yawn. "What the hell are you doing up so early?"

"Idle hands are the devil's tools."

"Huh?"

"I had shit to do."

"Oh."

She sets everything down in the kitchen and takes a long look at me. "How are you feeling?"

"Besides fat and ugly?"

"Sure."

"Fine." I realize that she's alone. "Where's Jasper?"

"He's running an errand. He'll be by shortly."

"So, question for you. When he gets here, are we going to clear up some of the cryptic shit from last night?"

She frowns. "What do you mean?" She's not very good at playing stupid.

I begin listing things as I tick them off on my fingers. "Rosalie being taken care of, what you two are-because I'm not fucking stupid, you guys aren't human. Let's not forgot how you transformed me into Miss America last night! Why Andy Taylor has yellow eyes, why Andy Taylor was even there, because he's Matlock, and that was twenty years ago."

"That's a lot to discuss." She smirks. She fucking _smirks._

"I can keep going." I raise my eyebrows and hold out my hand for coffee.

"We can clear up most of it, but I'd much rather wait for Jasper to get here; he can answer some things better than I can."

"Whatever." Alice brings over my coffee and my favorite scone, it's cranberry-orange with a cream cheese glaze. I instantly dive in and entranced with my fattening treat, I miss Alice letting Jasper in my apartment.

"I can't believe you live here." Jasper looks around and stands in the middle of the room. I think he's afraid to touch something. He looks different from yesterday, but he looks good, healthier. He's not as freaking pale, and his eyes are a little brighter. He's wearing an all-black suit, like last night, but now he has more color to his skin, and it is like he's a new man. _Nice._

Lightning hits near my apartment, and thunder shakes my windows.

"You're a little dressed up for a Sunday morning. Looks good."

"It's the uniform." He shrugs, but I can tell he's pleased I noticed.

"So why are you guys waking me up so early?"

"It's time to talk business." Jasper pulls a black briefcase from _somewhere_ and pulls out a large stack of papers.

"What's that?" I eye warily.

"A contract. Your contract," Alice says from the kitchen. She brings over the pastry box and sits them in front of me, along with two more coffees.

"Contract for what?"

"Your soul," they say together, their tone conveying their thought of _duh._

"Go on," I let my voice trail off.

"Let me first ask, did you enjoy yourself last night, Bella?" Jasper leans close and takes my hand in his.

"I guess so."

"Sounds like someone's lost their touch," Alice sings. She takes a seat next to me and looks pleased with herself.

"I didn't hear you complaining last night, did I?" he snaps. Oh, burn.

"Fucker," she mutters.

"No, I did. It was truly an amazing experience." I think back to the way I felt, dressed in luxury, feeling beautiful for the first time in my life, feeling desirable and catching the attention of a man I've dreamt of.

"Let's make it permanent, shall we?" Jasper asks.

I remember what I would change about last night, and I tell him to hold on just a second, because if this is going to be for good, then I want everything.

"What more do you want?"

"I want to be clear that in exchange for my soul, I return to looking the way I was, right?"

"Right. What else is there?"

"I also want to never gain a pound, no matter how much I eat." Jasper rolls his eyes, but I ignore him. He's a guy, I don't expect him to get it. "I want to be successful at everything I do, and I want Edward Cullen to feel about me the way I feel about him. I don't want anyone else hurt, either."

"Anything else?" Jasper asks. I look at Alice for ideas, but she gives a Kanye shrug.

"I don't think so. I'll get everything I want from last night, plus these things, and in return I give you a barely used soul."

"Sounds good." Jasper smiles. "This might hurt a bit." He takes out a fountain pen and a needle. He's still holding my hand, and his grip tightens a bit.

"What's that for?"

"Well, I'm not going to sign _your_ contract in _my_ blood. Now stay still." He pricks my finger and squeezes a few drops into the well of the pen. He shakes it up a bit and does that swirly thing to make sure the ink flows in a normal pen. Lightning hits a tree right outside my window.

"Oh! I thought of a couple of other things," I interrupt his doodling.

"What?" He looks exasperated.

"I want answers."

"You were going to get those anyway. Anything else?" Jasper's eyes are black, same as last night-a clear indicator he's pissed. I don't care, I'm taking Alice's words from last night to heart. If I'm selling my soul, I want the most bang for my buck.

"I want to be able to know when someone is telling the truth."

"Nice!" Alice holds her hand for a high-five, but realizes I'm bleeding and just nods, patting me on the shoulder. I look past her and out the window. The sky has now turned almost pitch-black, and it looks like a hurricane is forming the sky. Wind is blowing garbage all over the parking lot, and the rain has started coming down in sheets.

"You might wanna hurry up." Alice looks at Jasper and bites her lip. She's nervous about something.

"Okay. We're ready."

He hands me the pen, and it feels warm, as in, ninety-eight point six degrees warm. He passes over the stack of papers and shows me where to initial and sign in several places. He flips to one last tab, and I scratch my name in blood, which is really creepy, and I'm trying hard to make sure I don't smear it.

"Is there anything more?" I hand the pen back to him.

"Nope."

"So, I just gave you my soul?"

"Not exactly. When the time comes that it is needed, Alice will let you know."

"I didn't even feel it."

"That's what she said," Alice snickers. Jasper throws the fountain pen at Alice, and it stabs her square in the forehead. She doesn't even flinch. She pulls it out and chucks the pen back at him, blood, _my blood_ splattering on my walls, and just missing my scones.

"Answers. Now," I demand.

"One quick thing." Jasper puts the papers away and pulls out a scale. "Weigh yourself."

"I already ate."

"Damn it, Bella. Just do it," Alice demands.

"Fine." I huff. I step on the scale, and I'm shocked when my pants almost fall off me. My figure has returned. One hundred and fifteen pounds. I lost forty-five pounds in two seconds. I feel great.

"Remember that number," Jasper tells me.

"It's going to be hard to forget." I laugh and start thinking about how none of my clothes are going to fit, and I need to go shopping. I've never been so excited to hit Forever 21.

I sit down and Alice pushes the plate of pastries towards me. "You eat, we'll talk."

"I'm not even hungry."

"Just do it, Bella." Alice rolls her eyes, and I decide not to tell her she sounds like a broken record, and look at that, the thunder and lightning are gone, and it's just a light drizzle now. Trees are drooping, and it's stone silent outside. It's depressing yet peaceful.

I pick up a scone and start nibbling. "You're right," Alice begins. "We're not human."

"Bella, how much do you know about religion?" Jasper asks.

"Not much," I confess.

"I figured as much. I'll give you the third grade version."

"Hey!"

"Eat."

"I'm an officer of Satan's army, Bella," Alice confesses.

"Barely," Jasper mutters. Alice flips him off.

"You're so sweet, though." I find that I'm not shocked by her admission, even though I should be.

"_To you_, I'm nice."

"So when he." I point at Jasper, "called you a minion, he was right?"

"A rose by any other name."

"Are you guys in the same platoon or something?" I look to Jasper, hoping he can clarify.

"Hardly," he scoffs. "I'm the Grim Reaper."

"But you're so hot." The Grim Reaper is supposed to have maggots crawling out of his eye sockets, but he doesn't. Instead he's got baby blues and couple of freckles on the bridge of his nose

"Comes with the territory. My looks are meant to lure people in, to trust me, to help them along."

"Are you going to kill me now?" I start to panic that I was ripped off. I sputter, and crumbs fly out my mouth and land on my now, too big yoga pants, and look at that, my boobs are awesome again.

"No."

"Why are you here, then?"

"This one." He points at Alice, "was taking too long to collect your soul. I _told_ him you weren't ready for a promotion."

"I was ready for it, and you know it! You're so full of shit!" Alice yells.

"It's been predestined, Bella. Someone was going to die, and it rested on your decision. I have a schedule to keep, and Alice was slowing me up," Jasper explains.

"So you were sent here just for my soul? You don't want to be my friend?" I feel sad about this, and I try hard not to let her see me cry. I don't have a lot friends, and by that I mean, any, and I really liked her.

Alice grabs my hands and smiles. "I do, Bella. I hope this doesn't change things, and we can still be friends."

"Promise?" I sniffle.

"Absolutely." She kisses me on the cheek. I almost forget to ask Jasper something.

"So, since you're not killing me, who died?"

"Rosalie Hale." I gasp at his words.

"You said no pain," I accuse Alice.

"I promise, she didn't feel a thing."

"She's dead! That's something!" I screech. My heart starts beating a little faster, and I'm not sure if I can handle this news right now, especially with all the fat and cream floating in my system. I'm going to die of a heart attack, I just know it.

"It was quick and painless; I promise, they didn't even know what was happening until it was over."

"_They?"_ I screech. "That wasn't part of the deal," I accuse.

"Her time was up, Bella." Jasper's tone is deadly calm. "It's not my fault that someone else was in the car with her at the time of the crash."

"Why was her time up?"

"You had made a decision, Bella," Alice says softly. "Your decision changes the futures of others, whether you like it or not."

"I killed two people!" I start taking deep breaths, the room is spinning like when I come home drunk and I have to hold on to the wall to keep from passing out. _What have I done?_

"No, a drunk driver, running a red light, killed Rosalie and Emmett McCarty. Whether they were going to die today or in sixty years, it was merely a matter of when. Your decision was the clincher that it was sooner rather than later." Jasper produces a mug of tea and crouches down and rubs circles on my back in a soothing manner. "This isn't your fault," he continues. "Rosalie had her own issues to deal with, it was her time. I repeat, Bella, this isn't your fault."

"So the errand you were on this morning, you were-"

"I was guiding their souls where they were meant to go; it was a very busy morning. Even in the afterlife, she's a demanding prima-donna."

"I had no idea," I whispered.

"Bella, it was meant to be, please don't blame yourself," Jasper says in a hushed voice.

"It's true, Bella. Can't you tell?" Alice raises an eyebrow at her question.

She's right, deep down I know she is. I can feel it.

"So what do you expect me to do? I can't _not_ think about it." I close my eyes and lean back in my chair.

"Easy. We go shopping, but I will fucking kill you if we go to Forever 21."

* * *

><p>For the record, I hate Forever 21. The place smells like cat pee and cheap plastic, but that's just me.<p>

Want to change my mind? Want to yell at me for Rose and Emmett? Let me have it!

Reviewers get teasers!

As always, thanks for reading.


	8. Stiletto Heels and Cottage Cheese

Hi there! A lot of questions were raised in the last chapter and I hope to answer a few:

Rose and Emmett will not be making an appearance, at all. If they were having an affair, this chapter answers that and will be touched on two chapters from now.

If you have any questions, please don't hesitate to ask.

Thanks to **107yearoldvirgin **and **BellaSunshine **for prereading, and **Kas90** for beta'ing this bad boy. It's a whopping 2300 words. Who knew I could be that fucking wordy?

* * *

><p>We've spent the whole afternoon shopping, and I'm exhausted...nicely dressed-who knew designer jeans could be that comfortable and make your ass look <em>that <em>good-and was hit on several times, but nonetheless, exhausted. We've stocked up on jewelry, pants, suits, but not like the ones Hilary Clinton wears; I actually look like a woman and not Mrs. Doubtfire.

To my suits, I can also add pencil skirts and a bunch of designer clothing that I know is only possible thanks to my new demon bestie, and when my credit card was approved for not one, not two, but _four_ pairs of Louboutins, I might have peed myself. Last time I remember, I had enough for the tax on one pair. I look at Alice who grins and shrugs.

"I'm not complaining, but I thought I was broke. I don't remember this as part of our deal." I look at Alice as we walk to the car. It's our third trip to drop off our bags, and now I'm famished. I forget my hunger because we reach the car, and it's now the fourth time it's changed. When we parked, we were in an obnoxious yellow Porsche. For our first drop off, it was a silver Volvo, then a giant Jeep, and now I'm standing in front of black Mercedes. I have no idea what happened to her Corolla.

"Don't worry about it; remember when you said you'd be good at everything?"

"Uh, yeah?" Of course I remember, my finger fucking hurts where Jasper stabbed me with the needle.

"You're very good at shopping, and all your needs are being met." Alice clicks the key fob, and the trunk pops open.

"Wouldn't the Jeep have been better?" I ask, throwing my bags with everything else.

"Probably, but I can't reach the pedals." She shrugs and turns back towards the shops. I want to think _kill me now_ but not a chance because I'm not really in the mood to see Jasper.

"Where are you going? I wanna go home," I whine.

"We're both hungry, we're going to eat. I don't get what's hard about this concept."

"Can't we eat at my place?" I just went grocery shopping, and I've been dying for a sandwich.

"You can get a sandwich anywhere, Bella." Alice starts walking again.

"How the fuck do you do that?" I speed walk to catch up to her.

"Do what?"

"Know what-"

"You're going to say?"

I nod. That shit's cool at first, but it's going to get really annoying real fast, just like the Chumbawamba baby or Ugg boots.

"It comes with the territory. I just know things before they're going to happen. It's not always thrilling, but don't worry about me."

"Okay."

"Put on lip gloss, you're going to need it."

"If I'm going to eat, it's just going to come off."

"For the love of Chr-you know what, have I been wrong yet?"

"No."

"Then fucking put on some make-up, squeeze your tits together and come eat lunch with me!" She stamps her foot, and if I didn't know her permanent mailing address was Hell, I'd find her stinking adorable.

"You're such a pushy bitch!"

"I might be, but that doesn't make me wrong." There's that smirk again.

"What aren't you telling me?" I narrow my eyes at her, but it's not like she can see because I'm wearing Chanel sunglasses that take up half my face.

"You try to take the fun out of everything," Alice whines, and it's not a good look. "Have I ever steered you wrong before?" She asks me this a lot, and it's starting to get old. I should get her a little button for her to push so she can literally repeat herself without much effort. Maybe I can make this a drinking game.

"You mean besides the whole soul-selling thing?" We snicker at my question because on some level I know it's wrong, but I've never been happier, and I've only got one shot at this life, so I'm going to make the best of it.

"Yeah, other than that."

"Not really." I shrug because it's true. Despite the rocky start to my day, it's been one of the best days of my life. Last night was one of the best nights I've ever had, and it makes me think of Edward.

"Hey, Alice, slow down a bit." I touch her arm to get her attention because I don't think she's listening; her eyes are glazed over, and it's really weird. We're standing at the entrance to The Capital Grille, and I stop her from opening the door.

"Hmm?"

"It's fairly well known that Rosalie and Edward were together, how's he taking it?"

"He's shocked and upset," she says, but I think there's more.

"That's it?" I prod. From the corner of my eye, I see a vaguely familiar face. I turn and I see Felix sitting in the front seat of a black town car. That can mean Edward is inside. I quickly pull out a mirror and make sure that my hair and make-up look good.

"Go in and talk to him." She smiles and opens the door for me. We walk to the host stand, and most of the conversation from the bar area slows or stops. I can feel all eyes on me. I hope I never get tired of this because I love how it makes me feel, and I never want it to go away.

The hostess gives us the once over and leads us to a table. I catch a glimpse of Edward in the corner, and I pretend to ignore him, because if I wasn't looking for him, I would have missed him. I think I hear him gasp, and I smile to myself because I know that any second, he'll be coming over to talk to me. The thought of him being near me in any way makes my heart beat faster and my palms get a little clammy.

As soon as we sit, Alice kicks me hard, and we're going to have to talk about how pointy shoes hurt. I'd kick her back but after the earlier display with the bloody fountain pen, I know it wouldn't do any good. "What?" I hiss.

"He's oming-cay."

"Huh?"

"You're hopeless. You should've asked to be multi-lingual."

"Blow me," I snap, "and stop kicking me! That fucking hurts." I rub my shin and glare at her.

"See this?" She sticks her hand out. "Don't bite it." I can tell that the friend is gone and the hell-spawn is here. Yay.

"Bella?" Edward touches my shoulder.

"Edward? Hey." I glance up, and instead of the shockingly, well put together, handsome man from last night, he's just as handsome, but looks as though he's been hit by a truck. His skin is pale, dark circles distract from his bright eyes, and his hair his in a disarray that screams _I've been up for the past twenty-four hours_.

He politely greets Alice and gives her a little smile, and then asks to speak to me privately. I nod at him and frown when I see Alice molest her boobs as a hint for me to squish. I roll my eyes and focus on Edward leading me away. His shoulders are slumped, and I can see that this is probably not about last night-or maybe it is, in which case, I couldn't be happier.

I'm completely taken off guard when he slides his arms around me, and it strikes me that he's probably been through a lot in the past few hours, and the man could use a hug. So I let him embrace me, and in turn, I run my hands up and down his back. I nudge him with my shoulder so that he'll look at me. His eyes are bloodshot, and he's miserable. I don't need Alice to tell me that he's devastated, I can see it all over his face.

"Hey," I whisper.

"Hi." He sniffles, and my heart breaks a little.

"I heard what happened. How are you holding up?" I rub my hand on his arm, in what I hope is a comforting gesture

"Better than expected," he chuckles and gives me a small smile. I take his hand in mine and give it a light squeeze.

"It's weird, I woke up this morning, planning to talk to her, and now she's gone, and I feel like I had a lot to say, but then it turns out she was seeing someone else and now I don't feel guilty and-"

"Wait a sec," I cut off his rambling. "Take a deep breath." I smile and watch his chest inhale and exhale, and I really want to run my nails down his muscles. "Okay, continue."

"There's so much I want to talk to you about, but I really don't want to do it here."

"What did you have in mind?"

"Dinner, tonight, at my place. You won't have to drive, I'll have Felix pick you up, and I swear we won't have an interruptions. I won't try to make any moves, I swear, I just-" I lightly press one finger to his mouth.

"You're rambling." I can't help but smile a little bit.

"I'm sorry."

"Don't apologize, it's cute." His cheeks turn a slight pink from my compliment. I quickly take a peek at Alice, who's nodding in agreement about my decision.

"I do think we need to talk about some things, but not here," I agree. I see a few camera phones coming out, despite this being a five-star steakhouse with killer mojitos. Edward looks like he can breathe and gives me a light peck on the cheek. He slips me his card, and I see that he's written his private number, email and Felix's number on the back. I think he's got it _bad_, and I think I might, too.

We part ways, and people are whispering as I walk back to my table. Alice has already ordered for us, and I don't care because I know she'll have gotten me exactly what I wanted.

"So that went well," she says when I sit down.

"It did."

"What are you going to do?"

"What do you mean?"

"Are you going to sleep with him?"

I stare at Alice, taking in her question. "I guess I haven't really thought about it, considering I _just_ talked to him."

"You should go for it."

The waiter brings our salads, and I frown because if my ass isn't going to look like a tub of Breakstone's, I wanna eat some bacon and cheese, but mostly bacon. I would much rather prefer something that was mooing than grew in the ground, but I don't want to risk my knees being impaled by her spiky heels.

"Look, I get you're rooting for me to get laid, but can you at least tell me why? First you were all 'Bella, you should totally get Edward to cheat on his girlfriend,' and now you're telling me I should screw the guy whose girlfriend just died _because of me._"

"For the last time, you aren't responsible for that. She died in a car crash; the sooner you accept that, the better for all of us." She stabs her salad, and I'm really fucking glad I'm not that piece of lettuce. "Look, just because we're friends, doesn't mean we need to tell each other everything, and perhaps I have my own reasons for wanting what I do."

"Do you want to tell me what they are?" I shove a chunk of bland iceberg goodness in my mouth before I can say something stupid.

"Not really." She freezes, her fork halfway to her mouth, and her eyes are fluttering. She shivers, and I scoot back a bit in my chair because I think she's about to go Linda Blair on me, and I _know_ she can launch her food.

"Just promise me, when you do guys do have sex, that the timing is right, okay? Please?" She's begging and her eyes are wide. She's serious.

"Okay."

Her fork clatters loudly on the table, and she kicks me under the table. We're going to need to talk about that later. "Say it."

"What the fuck? Fine, I solemnly swear that if or when I fuck Edward Cullen, it will be done so because the timing is right."

"You're a moron, you know that?"

"I know you are, but what am I?"

"Oh, real mature." Alice rolls her eyes and grins. I can't help but smile back. She might have a tendency to kick my shins, and she's a literal soldier in Satan's army, but she's also a pretty good friend and someone to talk to.

"Can we change the subject?" I ask

"Yes, please."

"Why does Jasper have the same last name as Rosalie?"

* * *

><p>So...what'd ya think?<p>

Like it? Love it? Hate it?

Reviewers get teasers!

Thank you so much to everyone who has rec'd this, pimped it, reviewed it, and/or put this story on alert. I'm truly flattered that you guys are enjoying it so much!


	9. Red Meat and Dinner Dates

Hi there! I'll make this real quick. All of you are amazing. For those that have their PM's turned off, I can't send you teasers the old-fashioned way, so you should turn those on if you want hints of the next chapter.

**107yearoldvirgin **and **BellaSunshine **preread and **Kas90 **beta'd. **PLEASE READ THE END NOTE!**

* * *

><p>"I really don't feel comfortable talking about this right now." Alice's eyes shift back and forth.<p>

"Okay, so when would you feel better?" I push.

"Make you a deal-" she begins, I can't help but snort.

"Haven't you made enough deals for today?"

"Do I need to kick you again?"

"What's your offer?"

"I'll tell you about Jasper, only after you and Edward have sex."

"Are we really going over this again? I'm not having sex with the guy who just lost his girlfriend!" I hiss, and though my words are meant to be low, they are anything but, causing me to get a few glares from some snotty lunching ladies.

"That's the deal; take it or leave it."

"No blood?" I wince at the memory as my finger throbs.

"No blood, you big fucking baby."

"Can we please change the subject?" I'm a bit tired of her being so mean to me. I understand why she does it, most of the time, but that doesn't mean I have to like it.

"So dinner tonight, he's going to have a filet, broiled with baby fingerling potatoes, a caesar salad, and he's doing a cheesecake with raspberry sauce."

"Good thing I can't gain any weight."

"Pretty much."

"Wait-you said he's doing this? He's making this from scratch?"

"Yup, so even if it tastes like crap, be nice."

"I doubt it'll be awful."

"It won't be, but I'd like you to think that the man has a couple of flaws."

"He doesn't." I sigh and lean back in my chair. I think about last night, and I want to take back my words. "Alice," I say softly, "will he cheat on me?"

"I don't know." She gives me a pitying look, and I think she knows more than she's saying. "If it makes you feel better, he never cheated on Rose, despite the fact he detested her."

"Why were they together?"

"I don't know. Do I look like a fucking Magic-Eight Ball?"

I tuck my knees under my chair and tell her, "Actually, you're kinda short, you give nondescript answers, and that hair cut makes me want to shake you. Do you really want me to answer that?"

Her eyes grow wide, and I cringe because I know what's coming, or at least I think I do because she starts laughing, and I relax. "I love how I never know what you're going to say." She wipes a tear, and suddenly we're good. Her mood swings are worse than whiplash.

"So tonight, what do I wear?" I take a sip of water, waiting for her answer.

"Something sexy. Everything you got today was for work or casual but nothing for dating. I don't know why I didn't think about that sooner."

"My feet hurt; can't you pick out something for me?"

"Whining doesn't suit you. Would the pretty, pretty princess like a pair of Crocs?"

"Actually, yeah." I can totally go for some cheap, plastic arch support.

"Fuck no."

"Why'd you offer?"

"Here." She reaches in her bag and throws me a pair of flip-flops. "Those should fit."

I slip them on and instantly feel better. I tell her thanks and shortly after, we pay the bill and leave. We're walking through the mall, and I'm tired. I just want to go home and take a nap, but I think Alice will shoot lightning out of her fingers if I even suggest such a thing.

Instead, I suck it up and let her drag me into a store where we stock up on ridiculously expensive lingerie and then more wrap dresses than I've ever seen before. We haul our packages out to the car, and I notice that it's much later than I thought it would be. I'm also not sure what time I should be at Edwards, how I'm getting there, or where it even is. I start hyperventilating, and it turns out that Jasper isn't the only one Alice likes to smack.

"Knock it off! I haven't lead you astray yet, so don't doubt me now," she snaps. "Take the card Edward gave you and call him. It's a crazy idea, but give it a go." Her tone makes me feel like a child being scorned, making meI frown. We had a conversation earlier this morning, and I thought it had been established that we were friends, so why is she talking to me like this?

"Why are you being so mean? I gave you what you were out for, I think the least you could do is help me figure shit out instead of being so fucking cruel. What did I ever do to you?" I throw my bags in the back of the car and get in the passenger seat before she can answer.

"You sold your soul, Bella!" she shouts.

"You _wanted_ me to!" Our voices are getting too loud for the car, so I roll down the window.

"That didn't mean you had to."

"You and Jasper just appear, offer me all these amazing opportunities, and I'm supposed to turn it down, for what? Something I'm not even using? I don't fucking think so."

"I have to wonder, if I pour water in one ear, will it be filtered coming out the other?"

"What the fuck are you talking about?" I'm offended, but I want to hear her say it.

"You're not using your brain, either. Wanna see what you'll get for that?"

"You know, I thought we'd clear up all the mysterious crap this morning, and here you go again."

"We cleared up everything you wanted to talk about; this is something new, so you're shit out of luck."

I huff in annoyance, and we sit in silence as Alice drives me downtown, but I don't live downtown.

"Where are we?"

"We're going home."

"I don't live here; and I know this isn't your place. We were at your place last night-this is definitely not it." I strain my neck looking up at the expansive and impressive glass building. It's at least thirty stories tall, and now's the time I really wish I didn't have vertigo or aerophobia.

"_Our _new place, roomie." Her voice is light, and considering the argument we just had, I won't be surprised if she tries to throw my skinny ass off the roof.

"Oh, fuck no."

"Until Jasper decides it's your time, you're with me, friend."

"For fuck's sake, Alice, throw me a bone here. Why can't I just l live on my own?"

"I already said."

"Fine," I relent. "If we're living together, we need to set some ground rules." I get out and help her unload the trunk. With our arms loaded up with bags, the doormen rush to our aid to take them off our hands. As with everything else, I could get used to this.

We ride the elevator up to the twenty-third floor in silence. Finally, when I can't take the Kenny G-slash-Ray Charles mashup anymore, I ask again, "Are there any other reasons we're bunkmates?"

"Besides the fact you signed a contract and you have to do what I say?" She crosses her arms and looks smug.

"Excuse me?" I copy her body language.

"Not my fault you didn't read the fine print." I open my mouth to argue, but she's right. I quickly shut my trap and for the first time, I wonder what I really got myself in to. I'm going to need to see a copy of that contract, and soon.

"If you want a non-contract related reason, then consider that Edward has seen your place, and it's a dump." I shoot her a look, and she just glares back. "This is so much nicer, do you really think that people who look like us live in places like yours? No, they don't. They live in high-rises, and they shop at fantastic places, and as of tomorrow, you're going to have a career that matches all of what you want.

"I know this is a lot to take in, but I need to take the lead on this. I really have your best interest at heart. So when Edward comes to pick you up this evening, you tell him you were housesitting for someone, but you live here."

"But I wasn't house-sitting, that was my home. I already paid next month's rent."

"You aren't the person you were twelve hours ago; that's an old Bella. This is the new Bella, and the new Bella gets a new apartment. Stop fighting me on this and every other goddamn thing." She does the cute foot stomp thing, I fight the urge to pat her head.

"Fine," I give in. We enter her-no, _our_ apartment, and it's gorgeous. The entryway floor is Italian marble and leads to the main area where the floors are a gunstock hardwood. The kitchen is amazing with black granite countertops, stainless steel appliances and cherry cabinets. I feel like we walked into a catalogue or something designed from HGTV. I'm mesmerized by the floor-to-ceiling windows, and I'm so caught up in the decor and muted sounds of the city, I barely hear Alice call for me from across the apartment-no, penthouse. There's no way this is simply an apartment. I'm also very glad I latched onto my mother's sick obsession with_ Martha Stewart Living_.

"This is your room." She pushes apart the sliding French doors, and I gape at the California king bed. It looks so soft and fluffy, and I've never seen so many unnecessary throw pillows before. My first thought is that it is too big, but considering at my old place I had a twin bed, I quickly dismiss the notion. Instead, I'm replacing the idea of sleeping alone to sleeping with Edward. If Alice and I are going to share a place, if she has Jasper over, or if I have Edward, we're going to have to come up with the sophisticated version of the sock on the door.

"So what do you think?" Alice is opening up another door, which I can tell leads to the bathroom.

"I can't believe you live here! I know you make the same as I do; how can you afford this?" I'm too busy planning out my closet to see her reaction, but I hear her snort.

"An expense account of sorts."

"Nice." I nod. I go to check out the bathroom, and it's even bigger than I can imagine.

This is where I'm staying for the foreseeable future, and I couldn't be happier. Every time I think that something is about to flop, my life just gets better. I'm finally feeling like I'm worthy of Edward-as much as I can't wait for our date tonight, I'm looking forward to tomorrow and the start of my career. Then I can really have it all, and it'll all be worth it.

"You need to call him, Bella."

"I know. You're sure it's not too soon, right? I mean, the guy just lost his girlfriend, so I don't like the idea of intruding on any mourning time." I continue to think about it, because as much as Alice and Jasper insist it isn't my fault, I still feel somewhat responsible. I shake off the negativity and focus on the positive. Edward Cullen wants to see me despite his grief. I want to see him, too. Why should I hold either of us back from what we want? Before Alice can answer, I've already decided to go for it.

I pull out the card, and my hands are shaky and kind of sweaty, like the electric hand dyers that never fully dry, and you're left clammy and somewhat sticky.

"You okay over there?" Alice chuckles from my bed. She's sitting propped and looking a little too cozy on _my _bed.

"Have you and Jasper had sex on my bed?"

"_This_ bed?" She grins and wiggles her ass on the comforter to settle in deeper.

"Yes, that bed!"

"Do you really want to know?"

"Well not anymore." I go into the main living area and plop down on a cushy section of the leather sectional.

I hear her giggle and leave my room. She grabs a glass in the kitchen and pours herself some lemonade. "We haven't on the bed, but I definitely wouldn't sit there."

* * *

><p>So what did you think? Sorry about the cliffhanger from last time!<p>

In real life, I have a lot going on right now. In two days, I'm uprooting and moving across the country, and I'm not entirely sure when I'll be able to post. I know for sure it'll be next week, but what day, I have no freaking clue. I will try my hardest to have internet and do review replies tonight and tomorrow night. The next three chapters are already done! Yay!

Reviewers get teasers.

Thank you all so much,

Anne


	10. Ginger Ale and Elevator Snogging

Hey there! So...surprise, huh? We've all transitioned well into the new area, and yay for WiFi! Thank you to everyone who reviewed the last chapter, and I apologize for not doing a review responses, I was on a train with no internet. It sucked.

**BellaSunshine **and **107yearoldvirgin **keep me in check, **Kas90 beta'd!**

I have an entry in the Spank the Monkey contest, so you should go check it out! Please? The link is under my profile.

* * *

><p>I wait for Alice to leave my room and go somewhere else; I don't really know or care where she vanishes to. When she finally does leave, it's like she apparated. Maybe she went to play with some brimstone. With shaky hands, I dial Edward's number, and I'm caught off guard when <em>Funky Cold Medina<em> is the ringback tone. This means two things- the first is that I have Edward's private number because I can't imagine a CEO or an equally important person getting that song as they wait to make a merger deal, or whatever it is that he does. The second is that Edward has a sense of humor. A strange and dated sense of humor, but it's still there.

When he answers, he sounds like he has a cold, so I think he's been crying again, and suddenly I don't think this is such a great idea.

"Hey, Edward?"

"_Yes?"_

"It's Bella, uhm, is this a bad time?" I really hope it's not, but his girlfriend has just died, and he doesn't seem to be taking it so well. I can't really blame him; though if Mike got hit by car...no, I wouldn't be sad.

"_No, I've been hoping you'd call."_ I think I can hear a smile through the phone. I like that I can make him smile through a hard time. It makes me feel good, that maybe I can be more to him.

"You had mentioned dinner...is that something you'd still be interested in, or are you not up to it anymore?" I hope he says he still wants to see me, but I completely get it if he doesn't.

"_I'd really like to see you, Bella. I could definitely use a friendly face right now."_ He sniffles again, and I can feel my eyes start to tear up.

"If you just tell me what time you'd like to get together, I'll be more than happy to come over," I offer.

"_Thank you."_ He lets out a deep breath._ "I'll have Felix pick you up. I would do it myself, but I'm not exactly proficient in the kitchen, and I'm afraid if I leave, I'll burn something,"_ he rambles again, and I wish I could touch his lips one more time. I giggle, and he stops talking and chuckles too.

Alice clears her throat; when I look up at her, she opens her arms wide and spins around, reminding me that I'm not slumming it anymore.

"My address has changed," I tell him.

"_You moved? Overnight?"_ he asks, confusion clear in his tone.

"I was housesitting," I lie, not liking the fact that not a single thing about me is the truth in this moment, but there's no way he would notice or even give me the time of day if I didn't look the way I did last night.

"_Oh, okay. Well where are you now?"_

Alice appears out of nowhere and flicks a business card at my forehead that has the building's address. I read off the numbers to him, and he starts to repeat it back to me but stops halfway. _"Are you in the Downtown building?" _

"Yes." I feel my gut churning, and I know where this is going. I look at Alice and hope she can figure out what is going on, but in reality, there is no figuring out anything. She knew what she was doing when she set up this space.

"_How long have you lived there?"_ His tone is slightly accusatory

"I just moved in." I'm thankful that I'm finally not lying about something.

"_What floor are you on?" _

"The twenty-third. I don't think it's that big of a deal for Felix to come all the way up. He can just call me or something or have the front desk let me know he's there. I'll come down."

"_Sounds good, can you be ready in a couple of hours?"_ I glance at the clock and see it's nearly five, so it's a perfect time. I tell him that it shouldn't be a problem, and he tells me that he's looking forward to some time alone. We hang up and I ignore Alice, who has her earbuds in, doing an Elaine Bennis-like dance near the fireplace.

I go back into my room and start looking at all my options for what to wear. I want to wear something comfortable but flattering, like Alice suggested. I wonder what she would do if I ignored her advice and went solo on this mission.

"I'll tell you what-you pick out something completely on your own, and if it works, you can wear it," she says from behind me. My heart jumps out of my out of my ribcage, and I turn to see her leaning against the door jamb, her arms folded over her chest. She looks...amused.

"We picked out a ton of stuff, why do you assume I can't do this myself?"

"You wouldn't have asked for any of this if you wanted to do something by yourself," she points out. It hurts to hear the truth, but that's part of the reason she's here.

"But," I begin, "I'm good at everything, why wouldn't I be good at picking out something as simple as my own clothing?" I feel like this is Wimbledon, and I'm one ace away from taking the whole she-bang.

She frowns and nods. "Just give me the final approval, okay?" I think it's weird that for the first time in my life, I feel intelligent, and it's because I outsmarted someone. I let the feeling continue to grow into full on confidence.

I take a peek at the clock and see that thirty minutes has passed, and I quickly choose a black wrap dress and a pair of kitten heels. It's classy and subtle. After a quick shower and light application of make-up, I slip into my outfit and saunter out into the kitchen and something smells really good. My tummy growls, and I suddenly feel ill. It hope it's just nerves because I'm not getting sick; I _can't_ come down with something now.

"I didn't know you cook; it smells really good. What is that?" I hope that maybe the scent of chicken, garlic, and peppers will calm me down. She looks me up and down, gives me a slight smile, and nods her approval. I do an internal Jersey Shore-style fist pump.

"Chicken Diablo." She turns back and stirs the mushrooms and adds a few seasonings. She hints that we have something to drink and some crackers if I really need it. I open the fridge, delighted to find cans of ginger ale in the door.

"I don't feel so great, maybe I should cancel." I grab the can and sit at the island. I don't even feel well enough to open the damn thing, so lay my head down on the counter. The cool granite is refreshing on my skin.

"You can't cancel," Alice murmurs. She runs her hand through my hair, and it feels so nice, just like when my mom did for me when I was a kid and had the flu. "It's just nerves, Bella. You'll be fine, I promise."

"I don't get it; I was fine just a few minutes ago."

"Bella, slowly drink this and take these." She pushes the open can of soda and two Tums towards me. "You haven't eaten in a bit, and between the heat from your shower, nerves and stomach acid, it's no wonder you're feeling like shit." Leave it to Alice to make you feel better and even worse at the same time. She lightly pats my shoulder, and I do as she says. Alice goes back to cooking, while I slowly start to feel better, taking deep breaths and concentrating on not hurling a partially digested lunch. Forget the lunch, these shoes are far too nice to ruin.

My breathing is interrupted by a knock on the door. I look at Alice, and the back at the door, and back at Alice. She doesn't even bother looking at me, still focusing on her dinner.

"Your man's here."

"It's not even him, it's his driver," I say with a snotty tone, because saying it's my date's chaufer is totally awesome. "I thought he was just going to call." I feel all sorts of special because I don't think I deserve this kind of treatment. I know if I voiced my opinion, Alice would go on another tirade about how "people like us deserve it".

"Are you going to answer the door, because I'm not doing the roommate act where I answer the door in a coy fashion so you have time to make a grand entrance."

I slide off the stool and open the door, fully expecting to see the broad figured Felix in the hallway, but instead, there stands Edward, looking slightly worse for wear, but still has a smile playing on the corners of his mouth.

"What are you doing here?" I blurt out. His faint smile quickly fades and he looks at his watch.

"I thought we agreed on seven, right?"

"No, I meant I was expecting Felix, but obviously it's much better to see you instead." I'm rewarded with a full blown smile. I let him in and excuse myself to grab my bag. When I turn back, I see that he's standing near the kitchen, and Alice has disappeared, again, and she's taken all the dishes with her.

I slowly take him in, hoping to be subtle. He looks a little better than he did earlier, but the dark circles under his eyes are even more bluish-purple. He's wearing dark jeans with a white button down, sleeves rolled to his forearm. He looks amazing, and I feel like a schmuck.

I clear my throat, and I see his eyes do the same I'm-checking-you-out-but-not-really move that I just did. "You look beautiful, Bella."

"You look pretty good, too." I take his offered arm, and we head for the elevators. I want to hug and kiss him and wrap my legs around him, but I don't think this is the proper protocol for a guy whose girlfriend just died. When we step into the elevator, he pushes the UP button, rather than down.

"Where are we going?"

"My place." He looks at me, and he slides his arm away and instead pulls me closer; his body heat, mixed with his cologne is intoxicating.

"You live here, too?"

"I own the building."

"Wow. That's impressive."

"I like to think so." He chuckles, and it's nice to see him so relaxed, like he was last night when he talked about his carefree, easy college days. I know the mood will eventually change to something more serious, so I'm going to enjoy all the lightheartedness I can get.

"So what's the game plan for tonight?" I bury my nose into his chest, and I can feel his heart beating what I consider slightly above normal. I love that I do that to him. I desperately want to pull him flush to me, but I don't, and his heart starts beating faster. Instead, I place my hand in the middle of his chest. His breath hitches, and he begins running his fingernails just below my bra strap.

The atmosphere is thickening, and I know that if I look down, there's going to be a bulge in his pants. I really, really want to take a gander, but I don't, because I know what he has. As much as I desperately want to feel his big-rig, I refrain, but I'm not so sure it's what he wants.

"Bella," he rasps out.

"Yes?" I look up at him, and his mouth is much closer than I thought it would be.

"What is it about you that I just can't help myself?" He swallows hard,, and his eyes go from mine to my mouth, and I think he tries to look me in the eye again, but he can't seem to help himself.

"I wish I knew," I whisper.

"May I please kiss you?" I can't say anything, so I nod a little. One little kiss can't hurt, right? His hand ghosts over my arm, and he tangles his fingers in my hair; my heart flutters at the contact. Instinctively I lean forward, closing my eyes as our lips touch with just a hint of pressure. His mouth is warm, soft and inviting. The passion that was fully accounted for last night is present, and I wish we were in the flying lift from _Willy Wonka_, so that we could just keep going up, up, up.

We pull apart, and he leans in for another, but the bell alerts us that we have reached his floor. I notice that we have stopped on the level marked PH. "Hopefully we can continue this later." He lightly kisses my nose and takes my hand, leading me to his penthouse. I really hope there won't be any forum articles written tonight, but then again, it wouldn't be the worst thing ever.

* * *

><p>So, what'd you think?<p>

I have the best teaser for those who review, it's quite possibly my favorite.

Thanks for reading!


	11. Red Wine and Dirty Little Secrets

Hello again. Real quick note-life is quickly catching up with me and the updates will be a bit slower, maybe once a week...I dunno. Depends on when I can find time to write something. I have an entry in the Spanking the Monkey contest, so please check it out!

I want to answer a few questions. A lot of you have asked/hinted/told me that Edward has sold his soul as well. He did not. He worked hard and is an honest business man, no funny hanky panky going on. He's a good guy, and tries to be. The other thing is about Bella's stomach ache. It was just nerves and cramps. There are a lot of things to analyze and overanalyze in this story, but this isn't one of them. I promise!

**107yearoldvirgin, BellaSunshine, **and **Kas90 **have taken great lengths to make sure this chapter is great.

* * *

><p>The floorplan is initially a lot like mine, where the elevator opens right to the entryway, but that's where the similarities end. He guides me, with his hand on my lower back, through the marble foyer, and I gasp at his view. He has a view of Elliot Bay, and in the far distance I can see the lights on the fishing boats as they come to dock. The lighting is low, and there are fresh cut flowers every where; in a sense, it's a beautiful and romantic setting.<p>

"So this is me." He waves his arms and then shoves his hands in his pockets. "So what do you think?" he asks, looking a little nervous. It's endearing.

"This is beautiful, Edward. Truly amazing." I step closer and slide my arms around his torso.

"I'm glad you like it. It's one of my favorite things about this place." He kisses the top of my head, and then he mutters, "Rosalie never cared." I freeze at his words, and I don't like that I'm being compared to his dead girlfriend. I pull away and give him a small smile. He senses my hesitation and quickly apologizes for his slip, and I tell him not to worry about it, but I really hope it's the only time it happens.

"Would you like something to drink?" he asks, and I'm grateful for the change of topic.

"Whatever you're having is fine." I hope it's not hard liquor. I don't think I can handle that, and I have a feeling I'll need to keep my wits about me. I'm not a big drinker, and I was lucky I didn't fall and break my ass the night before. No, I just mauled a man in the back of a limo instead.

We meander into the kitchen and dinner smells lovely. The steaks are sizzling on a stovetop grill, there's a salad bowl resting in another bowl of ice, and the oven beeps, signaling something else is now done.

"Did you make all this?" I ask as he places a glass of red wine in front of me. He turns off the oven and pulls out two perfectly baked sweet potatoes.

"Yeah, I hope you like it. Normally I don't cook because Ro-I eat out a lot." His eyes widen when he realizes what he says and he stammers to recover. I can't help but giggle.

"Take it easy, hot shot. There's no need to be so nervous," I assure him.

"Yes, there is," he counters.

"Tell me why, please?"

He exhales and does a cute lip pout thing and runs a hand through his hair. I want to do that too, so badly. His hair is so soft, and I never thought it'd be possible to want to snuggle hair, but I do. So, so badly. "You intimidate me; I'm not used to it." He gives me a sheepish grin.

"_I _intimidate _you_?" I raise an eyebrow. "That's just...stupid. You're one of the richest, most important people out there," I blurt. Apparently when I sold my soul, I didn't gain the ability to shut up.

"That's not all I am, Bella. Money is what I have, not who I am."

"Did you just quote _Real Housewives of Beverly Hills_?"

"Maybe?" He chuckles, and I like when he does that because then he smiles, and his smile is right up there with Carebears and scones, and anything else that's beautiful. "How much is in my bank account, what I do in my spare time, or what I do for a living-Bella, none of those things matter if I don't have someone to share it with. You can understand that, right?" He states it as a question, but there's a bit of desperation in his voice, and my heart melts a little. He's like a puppy in a cardboard box, just waiting for some love.

I want to be that person to share his life with, and I know deep down I need to get to know him, and that's what I'm here for, I hope.

We quickly grab everything for dinner and sit at a beautiful mahogany table. We clink glasses and dive in to our meals. At the first bite of steak, I let out a whorish moan at the buttery texture, and I hear Edward's fork clatter against his plate. I swallow and give him a shy smile. "Sorry, this is amazing," I say but his eyes are focused on mouth. I lick my lips, hoping I don't have juice on them, and he inhales sharply.

"You okay over there?"

"Huh, yeah-I'm fine." He takes a large couple of gulps from his wine glass. I chuckle, and I notice he has a bit of merlot on the corner of his mouth, and I fight the urge to lick it away.

We finish our meal in mostly silence, occasionally making small talk about the building and the view, which now is showing the Seattle skyline, and the only think visible are the lights from the buildings across the bay. We finish dinner, and while he puts the dishes in the kitchen, I wander over to the windows and take in the view. I don't hear him come behind me, but he pulls my back flush to his chest, and I lean back and let him tighten his arms around me.

"Thanks for coming," he murmurs in my ear, the smell of wine on his breath.

"Of course." I close my eyes and simply enjoy the way he feels against me. His heart is a slow and steady beat, and it's a relaxing pace. To me, this means that he's happy with me here, and I like that...a lot.

"As much as I'd love to stand here and just be with you, we should probably sit." I nod in agreement, and we move to the family room where he starts a fire, and the only light is the bright glow from the fireplace. We position our bodies to face each other, both of us tucking one leg under the other, and I want to touch him more, but I know talking is more important, but I don't know how to start.

"If I didn't tell you earlier, you look beautiful tonight." He leans forward and tucks a strand of hair behind my ear.

"Thank you for dinner; you're a fantastic cook."

"I'm so glad I ran into you this afternoon, I swear it must be fate." Right, _fate_. I give him a small smile and agree, though it pains me to do so.

"You were looking pretty rough earlier. How are you feeling now?" I take his hand in mine and lightly rub his knuckles with my thumb.

"When I got home last night, I was a mess. On one hand, I was thrilled to have finally met someone like you. You're beautiful inside and out, and you're a kind person. Rosalie was none of those things. You have to believe me, Bella. I don't normally go around kissing women when I'm in a relationship."

"I believe you." I feel his honesty, and it's refreshing.

"Rose and I haven't been intimate in months, and I knew things were all but over, one of us just had to officially end things. I think she was just using me for my name and reputation even though she had her own status in society. When I woke up this morning, I had every intention of telling her I was done, but when I called her phone and she didn't answer, I knew something was wrong. She always answers her phone. I turned on the TV and they were showing footage of her car wreck, and it just hit me that she was gone.

"I felt relieved. I wouldn't have to explain why or worry about her throwing a shit-fit. God, that makes me a horrible person, doesn't it?" His eyes are glassy, and I know he wants nothing more for me to disagree with him.

"I don't think it's the worst thing you could have felt," I say softly.

"It gets worse. A few hours before I ran into you, I'd been called down to the morgue to identify her body. the accident was so bad, they had three different people come down to verify her body." He stands up and disappears from the room, and I take a moment to take a breath. I need the personal space, if only for a second. He comes back with his briefcase and sets it on the coffee table. "The police gave me these." He hands me a series of grainy black and white photos, and I'm not sure what I'm looking at.

"The gentleman driving Rose's car is Emmett McCarty, a local janitor at KING-5."

"Where's Rosalie?" I flip through the pictures like a toddler's book of stick figure drawings, and I quickly find her, or at least the back of her head. "Where did these come from?" It seems every other picture shows some action, including Emmett McCarty's open mouth. It's a very R-rated flip book.

"Those were taken by the traffic cameras on top of the signals."

"So she was, you know...with the guy?"

"She was giving him a blow job when they were hit by a drunk driver. They both died on impact."

"Wow." It's all I can really think to say.

"At least she died doing something she loved," he says. I'm shocked at his word and I really don't know how to respond.

"You didn't know she was having an affair?"

"An affair would imply that she had feelings. Rosalie Hale doesn't have feelings. She was also sleeping with Royce King."

"The station owner?" I gasp. I know it's not nice to speak ill of the dead, but holy fuck, Rosalie Hale was a slut. I also keep noticing that he's talking about her in the present tense. I remember seeing an episode of Law and Order when the lady cop says that it's a sign the 'relation' hasn't properly processed the loss of a loved one. Obviously, there is no love lost here.

"The very same." He stands and walks over to the window and stares. "I don't know what's worse, the fact I'm not sad she's gone or that I can't help feeling it was divine intervention that I met you on the same night. It reminds me of the saying 'one door closes and another one opens'."

"Yeah, divine intervention," I say. The guilt sucks, but I shove it away, because this is what I want, and I'm going to make the most of it...I have to.

"Edward," I say slowly. "If you aren't upset about her passing, then why were you such a mess at lunch?" I stand and walk over to the window. I take his hand in mine and give it a light squeeze.

"Because I realized that life is too short, I was terrified that I wouldn't get to see you again, and that something might happen to you before I can tell you how I feel." Whoa. I was _not_ expecting that. "When I saw you walk in, it felt like a weight had been lifted off my chest. Hell, last night was the first time I was able to feel like myself, and it's been so long since I've felt that you weren't judging me by what I have to offer." He turns, and I see nothing but complete vulnerability; his honesty knocks me back a step.

"Sorry, too much wine."

I've been in several relationships-none of them serious because we never reached that point, but I'd always thought they'd eventually go down that road. This is the first time I feel what it's like to know someone on an intimate basis when sex isn't involved. I like this feeling, of being wanted and cherished. He looks at me with such adoration, you'd have thought I'd invented nunchucks, or some other random guy thing, like Chuck Norris jokes.

"So where do we go from here?" I ask, taking his other hand and lightly kissing his knuckles. Until now, he's been the one making all the moves, and I think my forwardness catches him off guard.

He looks slightly pained as he tells me that Rosalie's family has asked him to come over and collect his things and any other items that he might want. He said there are a few ties but nothing more. I ask him if he wants me to go with him, but he says no. He feels that because they were such a public couple there should be a suitable mourning period before we begin seeing each other in public.

I'm not okay with this, and neither is he. I understand why, but I really don't like the idea of being treated like a dirty little secret. At least I know what his ringtone will be. I frown and step away because I can feel him lying when he says that he thinks it's best.

"What's wrong?" he asks, noticing my displeased look.

"Are you really asking me that?"

"I take it back?" he offers.

"Edward," I begin and sigh, frustrated that I can't phrase my words correctly. I start again, slowing down my thought process and making sure I can phrase things correctly, the last thing I need is to fail and be inarticulate. "You just told me that you were more concerned about not seeing me than Rosalie dying while blowing a custodian. You tell me that you feel I can make you happy, that we can be happy." He nods. "I understand the need to lay low, but if you don't even want to do that until you feel is the, how did you say, 'respectable mourning period', has passed, where does that leave us until then?"

* * *

><p>I would love to say I'll be hiding in a bunker, but let's face it, those are lame. Instead, hit me with what ya got! Love it? Hate it? I'd love to hear.<p>

If this story was rec'd to you, please let me know how you found it? I'd love to know who to thank for bringing you over!

Recs of my own:

An Aquired Taste by Magnolia822

Lust on a Deathbed by dyedinwool

Dandelion by Iwant2sparkle

Reviewers get teasers not mentioned on Fictionators!

Thanks for reading.


	12. Lemon Juice and Running Shorts

Hi there! Thanks so much for all the reviews and PM's, I'm so glad you guys are thoroughly enjoying this story. I have a lot of peeps to thank, so bear with me, please?

**107yearoldvirgin **and **BellaSunshine** preread to make sure this doesn't totally suck. **Kas90** keeps the commas in check. **Burntcore, Barburella, and Forever_Liz **keep me going when I feel down or doubt myself. **BellaFlan **and** Cosmogirl7481 **pimped this story on Twitter, so for that, I can't thank you enough.

Enough with the Oscar speech. See you at the bottom.

* * *

><p>He stares at me as if I had a gooey third nipple on my forehead. Before I can let him answer, I tell him that I have an early morning and I need to get going. I give him a light kiss on the corner of his soft lips and tell him thank you for the lovely dinner. It's all true, the dinner was amazing and enjoyed myself at least I had until I'd been told I'd be treated the equivalent of a dog kennel, waiting for the AKC show to start. Then he could parade me around, and I'd show off my svelte figure, my shiny hair and -<p>

Wow, I _am_ good at everything, including overanalyzing. Yay for being an overachiever of the Satanic kind.

I remind Edward that he has my number and he knows where I live, so if he should decide to change his mind, I'm right under his nose. Literally and not so much. We both think it's a cute play on words. He gives me a sad smile and offers to walk me to my door, but I don't want to deal with the awkward kiss goodnight. God forbid someone might see.

When I open the door, I pray that Alice isn't there, but now there's a feeling that my prayers won't be answered. Sure enough, she and Jasper are sitting on the couch playing Trivial Pursuit. I sit down and both of them eye me, but neither says a thing. I'm a little surprised at how well they're getting along. As they're playing, their moods are jovial, and I wonder if I should even be on the couch. I'm debating on getting some Clorox wipes for the couch, just in case. I'm also waiting for one of them to stab the other in the eye with a little pie piece.

"You're so fucking lame that you can't name the _Sex and the City_ girls!" Jasper hoots.

"Yes, I can! You're pressuring me," Alice insists, her argument is kind of weak, it's not like she has to name all of the Disney dalmatians.

"Whatever." Jasper rolls his eyes.

"That show was so stupid. The only one I liked was Miranda."

"Isn't she a lesbian now?" I pipe in.

"Who cares, she's totally hot," Alice says, but I before I can respond, she has moved on to thinking of the other three girls, and I think Jasper is fifty shades of crazy.

"Did you think she's pretty, Jasper?" I ask, trying to keep the mood light-hearted.

"Nah, I prefer brunettes." The way he stares at me is creepy, but he's distracted by Alice's glare.

"So, how was dinner?" Jasper asks casually, but he already fucking knows. Stupid, gorgeous undertaker. He looks a bit different, much more tan and his hair is a lighter shade of blond.

"I never took you as the kind to fake bake. How very Jersey Shore of you."

"It's all real," he insists.

"Whatever, Snooki. Did you put lemon juice in your hair? It's a pretty color, like honey-wheat."

"Does that really work?" he asks, looking intrigued as if it really does. I have no idea if the acid does something, I just remember it from an old Babysitters Club book.

"I have no idea." I shrug. Hell, I'm just happy we aren't talking about my disaster date.

"You're avoiding," Alice points out. "What happened, was it a good night?"

"Lovely; didn't you hear the sounds of passion and breaking headboards?" I snark.

"They were hard to hear over the sound of wasting your soul because you have a bit of pride, you little heartbreaker you," Jasper retorts.

"He's not heartbroken," I declare.

"He isn't going to jump off a cliff, but that doesn't mean he's feeling so great. I get the point of the cat and mouse game, but the guy just confessed he wants something with you, but he needs time, and you blow him off faster than Lindsey Lohan and a vile of cocaine."

"Nice simile." Alice snorts.

"It's a metaphor," he argues back.

"No, it's not, don't be stupid. I think all that lemon juice has rotted your brain."

I can tell this is going to be another stupid argument laced with sexual tension, and I really don't feel like being around them. I change out of my dress into a pair of shorts and tee-shirt with a pair of flip flops. I'm decidedly more comfortable, and I leave just as the door to Alice's bedroom slams, and I hear a high pitched squeal followed by a moan.

I'm glad someone is getting laid, but I'd be even happier if it was me. I wander out the front of the building, giving people smiles as they stare at me. I rarely come to this part of the city, mostly because I can't afford it. Now I can and I have no idea where to go, and I'm a bit sad because I don't have anyone to share this gorgeous evening with.

More than anything, I just want this night to end, to go to bed and sleep it off. Then I'll wake up, go in for my interview and become the media darling that Rosalie Hale-or at least everyone thought- was.

After my brief stroll around the neighborhood, I get into the elevator, and I think of what happened earlier, merely an hour ago. I'm tempted to go to Edward's floor, but first I'd need a key, and second, I don't think he wants to see me. He needs time to grieve, and maybe I'm pushing the envelope. Everything I've asked for so far in exchange for eternal damnation has panned out, so why wouldn't this?

Edward is right, it _will _be suspicious if we're suddenly seen together, and it will make him look worse, and I will look like a cold, insensitive bitch who was out to replace Rosalie. If I'm going to be good at patience, and as much as I'd like to ask God to grant me the serenity, I remember that I'm not in an Anonymous program, and I'm fairly sure that he's not going to listen to me.

My elevator lands on my floor, and I step off, not paying attention to where I'm going because it's after ten and I don't think anyone will be out. I don't know if Alice and Jasper are still doing the Inferno Lambada; I hope not because my key was left inside. Not paying attention to where I'm going, my feet stumble over someone else's, and I look down to see Edward sitting by my door. He's changed since I saw him last. Now he's wearing a pair of basketball shorts and a Livestrong tee-shirt, but I'll be damned-oh, forget it, he still looks like a million bucks. His long muscular legs take up most of the hallway, and he looks up at me and gives me a sheepish grin.

"Hey," I say, toeing the floor.

"Hey."

"What are you doing here?" I blurt out, and his cheeks turn the color of cherry cough syrup residue. "Not that I'm upset to see you her or anything, I just didn't expect it." I exhale and blow my bangs out of my face.

"I wanted to apologize." He stands up and takes my hands, loving the way his skin feels against mine. I'll take any kind of contact possible. "After you left, I realize that what I said came out all wrong."

"Okay."

"I don't want to keep you as some dirty secret, that wasn't my intention. I just think that it might not be good for us to be official within one day of meeting each other."

"I agree." I grin at him, but he doesn't seem to notice.

"I really like you, Bella. To be honest, it scares me a lot, and I think it's just best to take it slow."

I agree with this too, but he seems to have this speech prepared, and the way his eyes dart around, it's easy to see that he's doing this from memory.

"Okay," I say again.

His eyes light up, and sunshine might literally blow out his ass, or somewhere more appropriate. "Really?"

"Yeah, really," I say, his youthfulness is contagious, and I can't help but grin, too.

"Thank you." He lets out a deep breath and pulls me in for a long, rib-crushing hug. My face is smushed against his chest, but it's not exactly a cause for complaint. A door down the hallway opens and closes quickly, and we simultaneously break apart.

"We should probably take this somewhere more private." Edward motions towards my front door.

"I agree."

As if on cue, Alice flings open the door, and holy fuck, she's wearing an Eve costume. _Seriously?_

"The fuck?" is all I can manage. I give her the Heisman before she can say anything. "I don't even want to know. You dirty, dirty freak."

Edward and I brush past her and ignore her I-found-the-Cracker-Jack-toy grin. We've almost made it to my room when I hear Jasper yell, "You're more than welcome to join us!"

"Gross," I yell back. I slam the door and Edward chuckles as he takes in my room. All the clothes that were scattered are now neatly hung and color coordinated. I have no doubt that this is Alice's doing. He flops down on the edge of the bed, and I really like the way he looks amongst my things.

He's looking at the ground and running his hand through his hair. He takes a deep breath and finally looks at me. His eyes dart to the door and back to me. "How do you know Jasper?"

"He's a friend of Alice's, well, I think they're more than friends; I can never be sure." Apparently, I'm very good at lying. His eyes glaze over and he nods, clearly accepting this answer.

"He looks really familiar to me, and I can't put my finger on why. Have you guys ever...you know?" He looks really uneasy and shifts in his spot.

"Awww, Edward!" I settle myself across his lap and throw my arms around his neck. I think it might be too soon for this, but I can't find myself to care; he's not shoving me off, so this is a very good thing. "You know, being a ginger and all, green isn't a good color for you."

"Are you trying to imply that I'm jealous?" He smirks and raises an eyebrow, and damn it all, it's sexy.

"Not trying." His fingers tighten around my waist, and I shift to be near him a little more, if that's possible. I squeal and giggle like a fourth grade girl with a new Lisa Frank sticker as his fingers tickle me.

We roll around on my bed, wrestling and finding each other's sensitive spots-in a playful way, and despite our agreement to take it slow and be discreet, those basketball shorts would not work for our arrangement. I finally surrender as his arms are resting on either side of my head. Gone is the powerful CEO, the grieving lover and the man torn between public image and personal responsibility. His walls are down, and so are mine.

He doesn't ask this time as he slowly lowers his mouth to mine, and my heart rushes with anticipation, and I'm not disappointed, as though I could ever be. He lightly kisses me three times before our tongues meet together; the warmth mixed with his minty fresh breath is enough to do me in.

It's as if my body isn't even mine anymore. I desperately want to feel us as connected as we can be-with clothes on, so I tighten my grip around his waist, pulling his torso to mine. I move my legs slightly, and my knee brushes against his groin. He whimpers and I let out a muffled apology into his mouth.

He lays flush to my body, the thin shorts that both of us are wearing do us no favors in hiding our arousals. The heat from both of us is enough to make me break out into goosebumps, and I gasp at the contact. He's hard, and soft, and he tests the waters, or perhaps small puddle I've created by slowly rubbing himself against me. He lets out a low moan as he begins to move at a medium pace.

I move my hips to accommodate him, and though I've never had a good rhythm at anything, I love knowing that I'll excel at this and anything else we do. I wonder if my gag reflex is gone.

"Bella," he rasps out. He's kissing my neck, nipping with his teeth, and my whole body reacts as the pleasure reaches my fingertips. I roll my hips in response, and I see stars, loving the way his body moves with mine, the intertwining of our legs as our movements become more jerky and hurried. Though our movements are that of fifteen year-olds on their parents' couch, he kisses me with a sweetness I have never known

His moans turn to grunts, and I love the possessive grip he has on my shoulders, using them for leverage. The tightness in my belly grows, and it I start to shake, letting the emotional and physical sensations wash over me, and I give in and say his name over and over, until my voice is raspy. He follows suit and gone is the tenderness as he mashes his mouth over mine; his kisses are sloppy and wet, and with a final thrust, so are his shorts.

* * *

><p>So...like it? Love it? Hate it? I'd love to hear from you!<p>

Reviewers get teasers!

Postings will be a bit slower from here on out, all the chapters until now have been pre-written, so now I'm going as I post.

One last thing! I have an entry in the Spanking the Monkey Contest! It's called _Faulty Knob_, and you can check it, and the other entries, here:

_**http: / www (dot) fanfiction (dot) net / u / 2945329 / spankthemonkey4U**_


	13. Scrambled Eggs and Eighteen Holes

Hi there!

Real quick: **107yearoldvirgin **and **BellaSunshine **preread, **Kast90 **beta'd.

Important note: In 1996 the Thighmaster Queen, Suzanne Somers made a move for Lifetime, in which she sells her soul to become famous. I had no idea this flick existed until a few days ago when someone reviewed and told me of the similarities. I was 14 when it came out. Everyone I've talked to said the same thing, "Who cares?" It's purely coincidence, so I'm not making a big deal of it. It was asked if I was going to make note of it, so there you go. There are a few plot points that are similar, but no freaky Alice or reaping Jasper, and the devil certainly isn't Matlock. If you want to check it out, go for it. It's called _Devil's Food,_ and has a 5.2 out of 10 star rating on IMDB.

* * *

><p>He collapses on top of me, and I let out an "oof" as the wind gets knocked out of my abdomen. It's not sexy like in the movies, well it is Edward Cullen, so it's hot in that regard, but otherwise having almost two hundred pounds of man dropped on your boobs <em>hurts. <em>My nipples are retreating back into my body.

When Edward realizes he jizzed his shorts, he turns a lovely shade of bubblegum pink and mutters something about being itchy and crusty. I wish I had something for him to change into so he wouldn't have to leave, and I really think he wants to stay, so he asks where my bathroom is and hightails it in there. While he's gone, I change into some comfortable yoga pants and a tank top. My outfit is casual enough to hang out in but can double as pajamas if he wants to stay. I really, really hope he does.

My phone rings and I initially ignore it, but I see that it's my mother, and I can't help but roll my eyes. I don't even know what she could want this time; she robbed me blind last time, and I really don't want my good mood to take a nose-dive because she's calling. It's been over six months since I've heard from the leech, so one more day won't make a difference.

I look up and Edward is staring at me, concern is not a good look for such a pretty face. I don't tell him that, though, because what guy likes to be called _pretty_?

"You okay?" he asks from the doorway.

"Yeah." I sigh. I turn the phone on vibrate and toss it back on the nightstand.

"You sure?" He raises an eyebrow and he goes from concerned-and-pretty to handsome-and-pretty.

"I'm fine, how are you?" I wave my hand in the general vicinity of his crotch and smile, hoping I can change the subject.

I know it works when he crosses over to me and pulls me in close. He kisses my forehead, and not in a platonic way because he also sniffs my hair which makes me giggle. I pull away and I'm caught off guard by his lips on mine. He backs me until the mattress hits the back of my thighs, and I still from falling.

He pulls away and takes a deep breath. His nose nudges mine. "I like kissing you," he murmurs, and my heart flutters at the sentiment.

"Me too," I say, then I lean forward, against his mouth. I throw my arms around his neck and slowly start kissing his neck, leading up to his earlobe. I feel his hands shift down, and he playfully squeezes my ass. I love the way his fingers feel on my body, and I can only think more, more, _more._ I won't get more, at least not for now because my phone is lighting up, and though it's on vibrate, it's a really loud sound against the wood of the nightstand. Edward's pulls away and frowns.

"Do you need to take care of something?"

"No!" I grab my phone and throw it, secretly hoping it doesn't break because it was really expensive, but that the gesture is good enough to show I don't want to deal with anyone else.

"Bella, calm down." He grins at me and pulls back a little more. "It's getting late anyway; I should probably go."

"Yeah," I say softly, not wanting him to see my vulnerability.

"We're okay, right?" He glances at the phone which is buzzing again, this time it's landed in a bra, so my lace is electric blue. It's kind of cool.

"What are your plans for tomorrow? You mentioned you had an early morning, but uh..." he lets his voice trail off. He runs his hand through his hair, the hair that screams, _I've just had fucking hot dry-humping session with Bella Swan. _Alice is busy, and I wonder if she'll get off my ass about not having actual penetration. We both got off, so it'll hopefully muzzle her inner yappy purse-dog she channels.

"I have a meeting with a few people at the station." I gulp and continue, unable to meet his eyes.

"Who?" I can feel his gaze narrow at me, caught in his sights, and sadly, not in a good way. It's a good question, and in the moment, I can't remember who exactly, so I tell him the next best thing.

"Human Resources." I shrug, and I bite my tongue to not point out that there's a spot now open for the news desk and I'll be getting it.

"Right," he says it and he believes me because he doesn't have a choice, I took away his ability to make up his own mind. In one way, it's fantastic that I can have him wanting me in no time, but I have to wonder, if I was a size ten and had flat hair, would he still be attracted to me? My eyes perform a Cullen body scan deeper than an MRI, and I know he would never have taken a second look at me.

"Do you think you could call me when you're done? I'd love to take you out for lunch." He shifts from one foot to another, looking all sorts of nervous.

"In public? I thought we agreed to take things slow and-" he cuts me off with a chaste kiss.

"We agreed slow, but that implies movement. As nice as your hair is, you're not Rapunzel, and I'm not keeping you locked away." He runs his fingers through my hair and it feels so, so good. I close my eyes and hum, but he distracts me and asks, "So, lunch tomorrow when you're done?"

"If you're sure, then I'd love to." Because I really, really would. We finish finalizing our plans, and it keeps seeming like we find random things to discuss about our days tomorrow, and I realize that we're both stalling.

There's finally a lull in our conversation and I offer, "Are you sure you don't want to stay?"

"I wish I could," he says, and it's the truth, he really does. "I have a bunch of stuff to work on, and I've been putting off Rosalie's family." Just like that, reality hits me like I've been slapped with a cold, wet sturgeon.

My phone is buzzing _again,_ and I'm tempted to give it a Hulk smash, then change my number. Maybe I can get one of the kiddie phones where I only have five numbers, including Santa and nine-one-one. I apologize for the persistent calling and go to grab the phone and turn it off when Edward stops me.

He puts his hand on my shoulder and pulls me close, my back to his chest. I think he's going to do something hot, but I feel his thumb rub over my right shoulder. "So strange," he murmurs.

"What's strange?'

"What are the odds?" He rubs his thumb over the spot again.

"Uhm, Edward, what are you talking about?"

"You have the exact same birthmark as Rose did."

After Edward leaves, I'm pounding on Alice's door, but judging from the moans, the door isn't the only thing getting pounded. I hear Jasper moan, "Give me that apple." I tip-toe back to my room and check out the mirror for the thirty-sixth time since Edward left. It's hard to see in a one-way mirror, but with the help of the medicine cabinet, I can angle my body just right and I catch my new _birthmark._

When looking at it directly, it's nothing special, a light brown color with no discernible shape. However, with a slight shifting in the light, it's very clear what it is. A circle, about the size of a quarter, with a darker center. It looks like a flat nipple. It's kinda of gross, but unlike my real ones, this doesn't itch, and for that I'm grateful. Itchy nipples suck.

Putting aside the thoughts of now having a third nipple, how have I not noticed this before? What the hell is going on? Why did Rosalie have the same mark and in the same place? I need answers, and soon.

I take a shower and go to bed, anxious for what the next day will bring, and if I'll end up with any more body deformities on my now, near flawless figure.

I wake up and I find an outfit already laid out for me at the foot of my bed. I don't know if I'm more annoyed that Alice didn't trust me to dress myself or the fact she was in my room while I was sleeping. I fumble out of bed, my feet getting caught in the sheets. When I finally make my way out to the kitchen, there's a warm cup of coffee waiting for me and Alice rummaging through the fridge.

She turns around, her arms full of eggs, cheese and vegetables. She sets them on the counter and looks at me expectantly. I _know_ she doesn't think my ass is going to cook something.

It's as if she can read my mind. "You don't even want to try?"

"Unless those are going to turn into lemon blackberry scones, I want nothing to do with that." I wave my hand at the fresh produce, taking a sip of my coffee, and it's made perfectly.

"What if Edward doesn't like scones? Ever think of that?"

"Nobody's perfect."

"What if, after an amazing night of sex, you want to make him breakfast, and he doesn't have the ingredients for scones?" I stop mid-action and stare at the unholy freak of nature in front of me.

"I don't know how to cook." I shrug and try to focus on where I'm going to get some sugary pastries.

"Yes, you can. You're good at everything, remember?"

"I'll cook under one condition."

"You're hardly in a position to make any more deals."

"Tell me about my third nipple." I stand off to the side as Alice does a spit-take, and I grin.

"How'd you discover that?" She asks my back as I position myself in front of all the ingredients taking out things I think i'll need.

"Funny thing, it wasn't me that found it. Edward did." I cross my arms, thinking I look pretty bad ass with a spatula in my hand.

"Let me guess, he told you that Rosalie had the same thing, too."

"Yeah, he did." I'm pissed because I have a nipple on my shoulder, but right now, I'm more upset she ruined my big reveal. I pick up a large chopping knife and take an onion, not sure what to do.

"It's a standard mark, Bella. Now, dice the onions and then whisk the eggs in a bowl-" She stands behind me and starts moving my hands to show me what to do.

"A standard mark for what?" I do as she says and pray I don't lose a fingertip.

"For those who've sold their soul. C'mon Bella, it's early, but you're not stupid." I drop the knife and it lands directly on my foot, stabbing my between two of my toes. A little blood starts trickling out, and I look at Alice wide-eyed.

"That's supposed to hurt, right? It's not hurting, and I can't pull it out because then blood is going to go everywhere, and I don't do well with blood and-" Alice smacks me across the face.

"You can't get hurt or die until Jasper says it's time, so snap the fuck out of it and stay still." She pulls the knife out and tosses it in the sink. At that moment, Jasper comes strolling out of Alice's room, wearing the most hideous green plaid pants I've ever seen. He's also donning a mustard yellow polo and a strange hat with a fuzzy white ball on top.

"What the fuck are you wearing?" I snort and Alice covers her mouth, trying not to laugh out loud.

"What?" He looks up and down at his outfit, clearly not seeing the hilarity and ridiculousness of his garb.

"Where are going looking like _that_?" Alice chuckles.

"I'm playing golf today, thank you very much." He narrows his eyes and then widely grins as someone knocks at the door.

"Will they want to be seen with you, looking like that?" Alice rinses off the knife and hands it back to me.

"Oh, I think so." Jasper looks too smug when he opens the door. Alice and I scramble to the foyer, leaving a smeared blood trail behind me.

"Good morning, Jas, good to see you." He does that guy-pat-hug with a tall guy with an equally horrible outfit. The voice sounds oddly familiar. The man turns around. "Bella and Alice, so good to see you ladies again."

I scream as I see that Tiger Woods is standing in my entry way. Tiger Woods is in my apartment. Tiger Woods, with eyes the same color as Jasper's horrible Izod polo.

* * *

><p>There you go! Love it or hate it? Please let me know!<p>

Reviewers get teasers, as always!

Thanks for reading!

Anne


	14. New Jobs and Room Temperature Vodka

Hey there! So...here we go, on with the show.

**107yearoldvirgin** and **BellaSunshine **preread and **Kas90 **and **BellaSunshine** beta'd. If you haven't read their stories, Strawberry Wine (Kas90) or A Thousand Leaves (BellaSunshine), what are you waiting for?

Many reviews have asked for a Rose POV. That won't happen right now. Maybe at the end of a story, or maybe for a Fandom Fights _ piece. We'll see, but I just don't find her story all that interesting, in the books or for the story. I'm not saying no, just not right now.

I'm going to ask a small favor from you guys. I love your reviews and I respond to every one of them. However, if you have your PM's turned off or post anonymously, I can't write back! You guys ask great questions, and most of the time I won't answer them because of plot reasons, but I do try to answer every review if I can.

I've been chasing my kid at a park all day, and I'm exhausted. A lot happens in this chapter, so i'm gonna post and go take a nap.

* * *

><p>I feel stinging on both sides of my cheeks and I slowly open my eyes. I see Alice roll hers while Jasper looks like the damn cat who swallowed the canary, and Tiger Woods...well, Tiger is staring at me like I'm the next Rachel Uchitel.<p>

I sit up slowly, and my head throbs slightly, but my shoulder itches really fucking bad. So much for itchy nipples. I look between Jasper and Tiger, and it dawns on me.

"Oh shit! It's my time already?" I can't breathe, and a panic attack is settling in my chest.

"No, not yet." Tiger shakes his head and laughs.

"What are you doing here, then? I thought Alice worked for you, not Jasper."

"Alice does, but I don't work for him. We're golfing buddies," Jasper clarifies.

"I didn't expect that. It makes sense, but still..." My mind wanders to whatever else is going on.

"I stopped by because I had a feeling that you were going to have some questions for me."

"Yeah, no shit."

"Bella, I may be a lot of things, but you _will_ watch your language around me. I have given you everything you've asked for; the least you can do is give me some respect." Tiger's eyes have gone from yellow to red, and holy shit, it's one of the scariest things I've ever seen.

"Yes, sir." I feel a force take over me, and my head automatically bows. I don't like this feeling of being controlled. I didn't like it when boyfriends did it in the past, and I sure as hell don't like it now. The only difference now is I don't have a choice.

"Now, my child, what are your questions?"

"Why are you Tiger Woods?"

"I don't see why not. It's only fitting seeing as how a round with Jasper was on my schedule."

Well that makes sense, but I still have so many more things to ask.

"So why Andy Taylor when you first appeared to me?"

"He's a familiar childhood icon for you; he creates a sense of safety and provides positive memories from your younger days." Again, he gives me another reasonable answer. It's strange how calming his influence can be.

"What's with the wonky nipple on my shoulder?"

"Silly little girl." I frown at the fondness in his tone.

I don't appreciate being talked down to, but I know if I say anything, I'll be in a heap of trouble.

"It's my mark that you made a deal with me and only me. It keeps others, such as Alice, near you in case you get into any trouble."

"Like bodyguards?"

"Exactly," Alice chimes in.

For the first time, I take in the positions of where everyone is sitting. Jasper and Tiger are sitting adjacent to each other on the couch, and Alice...well, Alice is sitting at Tiger's feet, and he's lightly stroking her hair. If I didn't know any better, I'd think she was _purring._ Scratch that. She _is_ making a glottal sound, like that of a cat. _Weird._

Tiger flashes a blinding white smile at me, and yeah, he uses Crest White Strips. If I had the balls, I'd tell him to lay off for a while because that shit isn't good for your enamel.

"Why did Rosalie Hale have the same mark as me?"

"I've already answered that question."

No, he didn't.

Oh. _Oh!_ Shit. Okay. I take a deep breath and steady myself as I get a refill on my coffee. My hands are shaky, and I don't think it's a great idea, but shit, I need it. Maybe put some Bailey's with my Coffeemate.

"Jasper says that Rosalie dying wasn't my fault."

"It isn't. It was her own fault."

"Can you explain, please?"

He smiles at my manners. "Her time was up." He shrugs and adjusts his red Nike hat. "You had made your deal. Your deal was to ultimately have what she did. Her contract was older than yours; therefore, your wants and needs take precedence."

His words hit me like a ton of bricks. I stagger backwards when the second panic attack in five minutes kicks in. "So what you're saying is that-"

"If someone wants what you have, after you've obtained everything you wanted, then your time is up."

"So if, I don't know, Jessica Stanley wants what I do, then I'm going to die so that little wh-" I see the warning look Jasper gives me, and I change direction. "So I'll die so she can take over?"

"Exactly. You're a very bright girl, Bella. You don't give yourself enough credit." His focus turns from me to Jasper. "When do we tee off?"

"We better get going," Jasper says, and Tiger nods in agreement.

Something occurs to me.

"I have one last question, sir." I want to spit the last word out, but I know he'll rain hellfire on me if I do, so I bat my eyes and wait for his permission to speak. _Asshole._

"If you're Tiger Woods, won't the media be wondering why you're in Seattle instead of at another tournament?"

"Bella, I can be whomever I want, whenever I want. More importantly, only those who've met me can see me, but only when I allow. Any more questions?"

I shake my head, and he answers with an affirmative nod. _Douche._

"You need to get going," Alice pipes up, as she's clearly broken out of whatever spell she was under, and moves to my room.

"I didn't even get to eat yet," I half-shout in protest.

"Maybe you shouldn't have been asking stupid questions and cramming something decent in your pie-hole instead."

"I hate you!" I yell.

"It's mutual, you skinny bitch! Now get your ass over here and put on a blue blazer before I end you."

"Ha," I boast as I brush past her. "You can't do shit to me until someone else does."

"I have no doubt Jessica Stanley would trade places with you if it meant dry-humping Edward Cullen."

"You wouldn't." My eyes widen, and I feel truly threatened for the first time.

"No, I wouldn't. She isn't as weak-minded as you, or as selfish."

"That's just mean." I slip into the clothes Alice laid out, and I look fantastic, as usual.

"It's the truth." She tosses - more like throws, a hairbrush at me, and the weirdest thing happens. As I brush out my tangles, my hair becomes perfect, slightly wavy with just a hint of curl. Normally it'd take me at least twenty minutes to get remotely close to how it looks now. Jessica Stanley can suck it. Her frizzy hair would never stand a chance against me now.

"He didn't deserve you before your change, you know," Alice says from behind me. She's in different clothing, and her quick changes no longer surprise me.

"Who didn't?" I ask, applying makeup, which is going on flawlessly, just like last night. I'll never get tired of this.

"Don't play stupid; it doesn't fit you anymore."

"I know you're talking about Mike. Maybe I just want to hear you say it."

"You could have had better revenge by living well, but instead you waste your soul away on vain and useless, fleeting things that are only temporary."

My eyes meet her through the mirror, and she has a look of sadness that I've never seen before.

"I've only got one life to live, and I'm gonna do my best to make the most of it," I counter. She shakes her head and looks...disappointed?

"You still don't get it, do you?"

"Apparently not."

She sighs and walks away. I finish with my makeup and stand back to take one last look. I'm wearing a black and white pattern skirt with a black button-up and one of my new pairs of Louboutin heels. I love the red soles. I've always been drawn to them like a moth to a flame. Now I own more than I'd ever thought I would, and this makes me so, so happy-almost downright giddy.

I'm ready for my interview, and I know I'll make a great first impression. I don't know how I'm going to react when they give me Rosalie's job. Do I take it in stride, or should I practice my surprised face? I make a couple movements with my mouth a,nd I realize that my surprised face resembles that of a blow-up doll. An actress I am not. But I could be if I wanted it bad enough. I'll just let it come naturally and see what happens.

Alice and I pull everything together, and as we're walking out of the building, I see Edward getting into his car. He rolls down his window and tells me he's looking forward to seeing me later. I don't miss the way his eyes go up and down my body, either. His cheating whore of a dead girlfriend had one hell of a body, but I know mine compares because we have the same "stylist." I promise to call him when I'm done and lean through the window to give him a small peck on the cheek. He gives a silly grin, and I watch as Felix steers them into the Seattle traffic.

We walk around to the parking garage, and Alice tosses me a set of car keys. The key-fob doesn't look familiar. She grins and tells me to click it. The lights to a sleek, black Mercedes, similar to the one from shopping yesterday, light up, and I squeal as I jump up and down.

"Consider it an early _congratulations_ present from Jasper and me." She rolls her eyes at her own wording.

"Why do you say it like that?" I'm pissed that she's raining hellfire on my parade.

"I don't want to fight," she says and lets out a loud sigh.

"Me neither." I give her an anaconda hug as my appreciation. "I love it. Thank you."

"You're welcome. We better get going if we're going to stop and get scones first. God forbid we let you loose on potential employers without your daily fix of fat, dehydrated fruit and carbs."

"Meow."

"Get in, Swan."

I salute the captain of Hell and get in. The seats are a buttery, soft leather, and I want to roll around in the backseat naked. Naked with Edward wouldn't be so bad, either.

"Don't do the naked thing until I'm out of the car, please?" Alice smirks, and I hate that she can predict what I want or say.

We get to the station, and I'm still brushing crumbs out of my blouse. It's brand new silk, and I hate the idea that a butter stain is going to be right over one of my natural nipples and out for everyone to see. Stupid scone addiction.

We reach security to get our badges, and the guards begin fumbling all over themselves for us; one even knocking his mug of coffee into his lap. He's screaming about a burning penis. Off to the side is the bank of elevators, and at the moment that the man, yells "Cock!" Royce King, owner of KING-5, approaches us. He's handsome, in a smarmy way, but his eyes have heavy purple circles underneath, and his shoulders are slumped. I remember what Edward said about Royce's involvement with Rosalie. His body language screams that he'd rather be anywhere but here, not that I can blame him.

"Bella Swan, lovely to meet you," he says, holding out his hand for me to shake. I oblige, but instead of a handshake, he kisses the back of my hand and looks at my tits. The guy's mistress just died, blowing someone else no less, and he's making eyes at _me_? Fucking perv. The irony of having been with Edward the night before is not lost on me. The real difference is what Edward and I have is real; I can feel it. I'm sure Rosalie felt it was _real_ with just about everyone.

"Let's take this upstairs, shall we?" He waves his hand for me to lead the way, but I don't want to because I know he's checking out my ass. I only want one person to do that, and he's somewhere across town doing big, important business man things.

Alice follows us, and it looks like Royce is about to tell her to stop, but with one look, he stops cold and doesn't say a word when she gets on the elevator with us. The ride is silent and nobody speaks until Alice volunteers to stay in the lobby while I go into the perv's den. His office is fairly plain as far as standard halogen lighting and Berber carpet goes, but it's hard to miss the softball trophies and numerous pictures of himself on the shelves. He's Softball Guy. Great.

While he might be Softball Guy, he also reminds me of The Continental, and I'm two seconds away from asking where his velvet robe is. He offers me a seat across from his huge teak desk, and maybe he's not The Continental. He's more like Leon Phelps and he's hiding some Courvoisier somewhere.

"So, Bella, there have been a few changes at the station. We lost one of our own a couple of nights ago, so forgive me if I'm brief and direct."

I notice a sweating bottle of vodka creating a large ring on his desk. The man is getting drunk. Lovely.

"I heard, and I'm sorry about your loss," I offer. I'm sure it sounds sincere; I can only sound so phony.

"Thank you." He nods. "Bella, we clearly have an empty chair for the news tonight, but we won't be filling that position immediately out of respect for Ms. Hale. I'm sure you watch our broadcasts, so you know that Rosalie and Tanya were quite a team for the three evening broadcasts."

Smug bastard. I only watched them occasionally; I actually prefer the ABC affiliate, not his NBC.

"Absolutely," I say and nod.

"Based on your resume, you don't have any camera work, nor did you come prepared with montage, but I won't lie, you're a pretty girl, and I think you'll do nicely on camera, provided you don't have a stutter. You don't stutter, do you, Bella?"

"No," I say warily, I'm not so sure I want to work for this asshole, because it's taking everything I have not to break the bottle of Grey Goose over his head, but it'd be a waste of good alcohol when my fist can do just as much damage.

I glance at the clock behind his desk, and it's not even close to lunchtime. I don't want to be anywhere near this douche, and I can't help but think horrible things about Rosalie because she put up with this, and for what? To be famous. I had only requested to be more popular and loved than Rosalie, not to _be_ her, not to follow in her footsteps.

Royce quickly stands, as if someone lit his ass on fire, and offers me a tour of the studio, my future office and to meet a few people on my future team. I'm excited to get started even though I won't be on the air, but I really don't care. We swing by HR and all the talking stops when I walk through, and at first I think I have something between my teeth, but I'm the reminded that this is the typical response I receive. I square off my shoulders and shake hands and smile. They give me my packet of forms and I leave, pretending not to hear the whispers.

I swear I hear someone say "So _that's _Bella Swan?" which implies that they know me.

I don't like it, not one bit.

* * *

><p>Like it? Hate it? I'd love to hear from you!<p>

Reviewers get teasers!

Remember, if you ask questions but aren't logged in, I can't answer you and I won't answer all questions in AN's.

Thanks for reading!


	15. Postponed Lunch Dates and Black Sheep

Hey there! It feels like it's been forever since I've posted, but it hasn't. This is the last pre-written chapter, so I'm not entirely sure when the next one will be. Like I said before, updates are going to be slow from here on out. Life is busy and to honest, I'm exhausted doing the stay-at-home-mom thing.

**107yearoldvirgin **and **BellaSunshine** preread and **Kas90 **and **BellaSunshine** beta'd this chapter. **Greeengoldfishis **credited with the platypus line.

Lots of things happen and things are starting to change.

See you at the bottom...

* * *

><p>We're down by the news desk, and 'Mr. King was my father' Royce is wrapping up the tour. The subtle brushes against my arm don't go unnoticed, but I figure if I do slug him, my first day will also be my last.<p>

"You!" I hear a screech come from behind me. Royce and I both turn around to see a furious and devastated looking woman, who could be Tanya Marshankov, clomping towards us in ridiculous platform pumps.

She reminds me of a scrawny Clydesdale, minus the hairy legs. Her head is really big, and her nose is slightly too broad for her face, and her lips could be... she looks as if she should be in the next Macy's parade. I always thought she was a very beautiful woman, but apparently only when she has makeup caked on and is standing at least ten feet away. Up close, she's-I don't want to say ugly, but when she stops in front of me, arms crossed on her fake boobs, it hits me. She may walk like a Clydesdale, but when her lips purse, she's a duckbilled platypus.

"Uhm, yes?" I ask, immediately taking on a defensive stance.

"You!" she screeches again, this time pressing a Lee Press-On Nail into my chest. Hell. Fucking. No.

I grab her finger hard and slightly twist it. Her eyes go wide, and she shuts her mouth.

"I don't know who you are, or why you're screaming at me, but the next time you touch me, be prepared to lose it. Are we clear?" I stare her straight in the eyes, furious that I've never met the woman directly, but I know my words are true. I haven't done anything to her, yet she's storming at me like a Persian from _300. _I see Alice standing in the corner, eyeing the situation. She looks at me, as if waiting for me to give her the signal to go ape-shit on this person.

I've never felt so _strong_ in my life, and I love every second of it. Something is pulsing through my body, and it's not adrenaline, but I know it's either Alice or Tiger's doing. I let go of her finger and step back.

"I'm Bella Swan." I offer to shake her hand, and she looks around, as if she's mentally making a list of witnesses if I dismember her. She tentatively shakes it and confirms that she is Tanya Marshankov.

"Tanya," Royce begins, his voice a little shaky. "Bella is going to be your co-anchor starting tomorrow."

"So I've heard." If possible, she'd be breathing fire. Unfortunately for her, I have the connections for such things, she does not.

"Can I ask why you're so angry with me? I've never met you before; we don't know each other." My tone is softer, less defensive.

"You killed Rosalie."

I'd like to say she was deadpanning, but I don't think so. She looked pretty serious.

"From what I hear, she was killed by a drunk driver." I leave out the part where she was giving road-head to a janitor in the middle of the night.

"If Edward had been with her instead of you, she'd still be alive!" She sticks her finger out as if she's going to touch me, and I narrow my eyes at her. She quickly retreats her hand and stores it safely behind her back.

I'm stunned. I'm not entirely sure what to say. Thankfully, I'm rescued by Alice, who presents her business card to Tanya and introduces herself as my agent.

"Why the hell would I care about you?" she sneers.

"I understand that you're hurt and sad. Your best friend and co-worker was killed, and I know it's painful. But Tanya, why is it Bella's fault?" Alice is cool, calm and collected. It's also incredibly scary, and I'm incredibly happy she's on my side.

"She was photographed with Edward, and he looked awfully cozy for someone with a _fiance_." She looks smug, and it's not attractive.

"Now now, Tanya," Alice says with a large dose of condescension. "Those were just silly rumors, and clearly it couldn't have been that serious if she was with another man in the accident. Maybe it'd be wise to do your homework before accusing my talent of horrible things you clearly know nothing about." Alice pats her arm. "Bella, I believe you have a lunch date to get to?" She raises an eyebrow, and I realize I've forgotten about Edward. I didn't think that would ever be possible.

"Tanya, it was lovely to meet you." I stare into her eyes as I speak, hoping that I can pull off a Jedi mind-trick, and I think it actually works.

"Absolutely, Bella. I look forward to working with you," she replies with a monotone voice. If I look closely, I swear I can almost see the hypnotic swirl vector in her eyes. I really wanna see if I can make her say "Yes, Master."

Alice steps on my foot, _hard_.

"So what, you can't kick my knee, so you're going after my toes? Whiskey Tango Foxtrot, Alice?" I hiss.

"Let's go. I'm bored." She looks at her nails and rubs them on her blazer. It's not like she actually needs to buff them. If given the chance for a closer inspection, I think they'd be made of razors or something equally evil, like Wolverine's were.

We're walking out of the station, and I open my mouth to speak. She pokes my side and glares. "I'm not an X-men character, but so help me, if you say something fucking stupid, I _will_ cut you."

I hang my head and nod. I can't help but grin as I pull out my phone to call Edward. Pissing off Alice has become my personal favorite pastime. Some might like baseball or premarital sex, and sure, both are fantastic, but I love seeing her get angry to the point she vibrates and I can envision smoke coming out of her ears. I'm reminded of a fussy baby with a scrunchy, pink face. Throw on a pair of heels and that's Alice.

While waiting for Edward to pick up, I have to smile at his playback song. Why yes, he is bringing sexy back, in the most fantastic ways.

When he picks up, I begin to wonder if lunch was a good idea. He sounds the opposite of how he looked this morning when he answers.

"What's going on?"

"_It's been a very long morning." _He sighs, and I can imagine him running his fingers through his hair.

"I can imagine. Would you prefer to postpone lunch into dinner?"

"_I'm so sorry, but I think that'd be best. Please let me take you out tonight?"_

Alice quickly types out a note on her phone and holds it up. I say it out loud and hope I don't sound stupidly pathetic. "How about you come over? I'll make dinner, and we can talk. Alice won't be home, so we'll have the place to ourselves."

I glare at Alice when I realize how desperate it all sounds, and how it even looks because as I'm reading her script, she's humping the air and making light grunting sounds. I don't think I've ever been so grateful that nobody is around to witness this.

I solidify my plans with Edward before hanging up. If my phone wasn't so damn fancy, I'd throw it at her.

"I wouldn't do that if I were you," she taunts.

"Why not?" I cross my arms over my chest and ignore how buoyant and firm my boobs feel.

"You need to call your mother. The woman is going to become a menace if you don't talk to her."

"I hate the vile creature. All she's going to want is money, and I don't wanna give her any," I whine, and since nobody's looking, I stomp my foot in protest.

"She's not calling for money, at least not yet. Don't give me that face. Give me the keys, Bella. We have some errands to run, and you're calling her back."

"Fine." I toss over the keys, and we both get in. If it weren't the middle of summer, I'd be playing with the seat warmers, because there's nothing better than a warm, toasty butt. It's something I've always enjoyed doing with a fire, so why not in a car? I look over and I see that Alice not only has the seat warmers on, but also blasting her side of the car with ninety degree heat.

"What?" she asks, side-eyeing me.

"Miss home?"

"Yes and no."

"How so?"

"Call your mother."

"Renee knows?"

"Call. Your. Mother. Stop procrastinating."

"Bitch," I mutter.

"You don't know the half of it," she says, but I don't think I was meant to hear it.

I dial Renee's number, and I'm thankful for Alice sticking in her earbuds so she can at least give me the pretense of not listening. The second Renee picks up, I regret the decision to talk to her.

"_My baby!"_ she answers.

"Hi, Mom." My voice is flat and dull, because if I give her any kind of hint of _anything,_ she pounces on it.

"_Bella, I saw the pictures! You look amazing, why didn't you tell me you lost weight?"_ she gushes.

"I didn't think it really mattered. I've been busy."

"_Oh, I'm so proud of you. You're not a chunky monkey anymore, and you're so pretty again."_

I have no words to describe the hurt her vapidness has had on me, and once again, she strikes me where it counts.

"Right, are you calling for money this time? Because normally you would have asked by now." I know my tone is bitter, and I really don't care. She can grow a dick and fuck herself for all I care.

"_Bella, I'm hurt, honey."_ Her voice is sugary sweet, so I know she wants something. "_Do you really think all I want from you is money?"_ She doesn't sound remotely insulted; we both know it's true. Gold-digging bitch.

"Yes."

She pauses; my guess is to gather herself together before she asks for something more than money.

"_It's not every day you see your daughter in the society pages with Edward Cullen! He's so dreamy._"

My stomach churns for a multitude of reasons. Pictures that explain a lot of things about today, and even last night.

"Yes, he's very charming." The bile is churning in my stomach.

Alice looks over and seeing the panicked look on my face and whispers, "Pull over?"

I shake my head and we keep driving. "Yes, he is. Is that why you called, Renee? To tell me I look pretty?"

"_You think so lowly of me, sweetheart. I'm wounded." _Liar. "_Like I said before, you're so beautiful now-"_

"I wasn't beautiful before? I'll ask you one last time. What do you want? And don't ask to see me. The last time we were together, you called me a chunky monkey and stole my debit card after I gave you five hundred dollars. You're lucky I didn't press charges. Your ass should be in jail right now."

I hear her huff of indignation and the end is silent. I pull away to see if she's still on the line, and sadly, she is.

"_I thought you'd understand! You said you did, Bella. I told you Phil was out of work," _her voice trails off.

"So that makes it okay to steal money from your fat daughter? Don't call me again." I move to push the hang-up button, but she yells out the one thing that I would have never expected.

"_I'm pregnant!"_

Alice looks at me and shakes her head. "She's lying," she stage whispers.

"Bullshit," I hiss into the phone.

"_Okay, I'm not, but would it kill you to have lunch with me? I miss you, baby."_

"Let me check my schedule, and I'll get back to you," I say, intending to never call her again- and possibly change my phone number. Hanging up on someone has never felt so good.

"She's a real piece of work," Alice comments.

"I don't understand her at all. It's hard to believe that we're related." I sigh and look out the window as we pull into the parking lot of a CVS.

"You'd be surprised at how many traits you two have in common." Alice reaches for her purse and then looks at me, judging my reaction.

I snort. "There's absolutely nothing we share besides DNA."

Alice reaches over and pulls down the cosmetic mirror. "Look in the mirror and tell me what you hate about Renee."

I meet my eyes in the mirror. I begin with what first comes to mind. "She's selfish, vain and doesn't care about others."

"Go on," she urges.

"She doesn't care about the consequences and has an excuse for everything. Nothing is ever her fault."

"Interesting. I'll be right back. Keep thinking, okay?" She gets out of the car, and I stare at myself in the mirror.

I repeat the things over and over again. The more I say them, the more I see that selling my soul has embodied everything I said about my egg donor. Until now, all I've ever cared about was myself, and if I did something nice for another, what was in it for me? I feel a deep unsettling in the bottom of my stomach, and I don't think it's my period cramps that are beginning.

No.

For the first time since Jasper pricked my finger, I have a slight twinge of regret about what I've done.

* * *

><p>Love it? Hate it? Please let me know!<p>

So...who loves Renee? If you've read It's Just Lunch, you'll know I love writing horrible mothers, more specifically, horrible Renees.

Thanks all for reading! I'm on a mini-vacay so I won't be able to do review replies until the weekend, but they will happen!

Today is the last day to vote in the Spank the Monkey contest! Go read and vote! My entry is Faulty Knob.

Thanks for reading!

Anne

PS: I almost forgot! Please send warm (or chilly) vibes to edwardcu77enlo7ver, who is massively preggers in this heat! It's 103 where I am today. I melted to the sidewalk.


	16. ExBoyfriends and Fresh Scallops

Hi there! I know I said we were going to once a week postings, but I just can't help myself!

This chapter was preread by the beautiful **107yearoldvirgin** and **BellaSunshine (she also beta'd!) Kas90** also beta'd this bad boy and I am forever grateful!

Thank you to everyone who has reviewed or sent PM's. I do my best to reply to every one of them, and if I've missed you, then I'm so, so sorry.

A few of you have asked how many chapters are left, and we've got about 8 or 9 left. It's going pretty quick, so we'll see if it goes longer or not. If there's ever a question, please don't hesitate to ask!

* * *

><p>Alice gets back in the car and tosses a box of tampons on my lap, along with a hot water bottle and some Advil. She's working out to be one hell of a bodyguard and personal assistant, though I'll never tell her that last part.<p>

"Did you think about what I said?"

"Yeah, I don't see how it matters; I'm perfectly happy with how things are now," I lie and shrug. I know she can see through my nonchalance, but she doesn't say anything. She doesn't have to because she's wearing a shit-eating grin. I don't know why she'd be so damn happy over me being so miserable. Maybe that's another side effect of being a hell-spawn.

Our next stop is a high-end grocery store. "The fridge is stocked; why are we here?" I ask as we get blasted with the AC. Conversation around us stops, and a few men wolf-whistle as we pass through the melon section. I know they're cat calling about my melons, because this blouse is thin, and it's a bit nippily in here.

"Because you're making Edward dinner, and your cooking skills are remedial since you refuse to learn."

"Is that why you were trying to get me to cook breakfast?"

"I wanted to see what I was working with, Bella." She turns and looks me in the eye, or as much as she can until I look down at her. "You're going to be good at everything. I don't know why you doubt yourself, or me for that matter. It's more than a little insulting. You just need to _try_, for fuck's sake; nobody can be this lazy."

"Alright, fine. I'm the next Iron Chef. So now what?"

"Now, you tell me the most amazing meal you've ever had and that you want to share with Edward. Then we buy the ingredients, and we go home and cook them," she says slowly, because apparently, she thinks I'm not smarter than a fifth grader.

"I got that." I roll my eyes. "I just think Edward sounded like he's had a rough day, and I don't think a heavy meal is the best idea. Maybe we can try making some tapas or something?" I hope she says my idea is a good one. I'm thinking about level of difficulty and the ability to feed each other. Yes, finger foods and maybe feeding each other is exactly what I want.

She thinks for a moment and then nods her approval. I tell her the best food I've ever had were black bean empanadas with a mango salsa, along with some fresh cuts of seafood; we're doing just fine.

Alice dashes off down an aisle to pick up some spices, and before she goes, she tells me to behave, pats my head and saunters off before I can ask her what's going on.

"Bella?" I hear a male voice come off from the side. I look up, and before me stares a wide-eyed Mike Newton.

"Mike," I say, I'm sure with a surprised tone. His eyes rove over my body, and I can't help but cock my hip to the side for a little extra flair.

"Bella, _wow_, you look so...different." His eyes are directed at my boobs, not that I blame him, but I'd like a little respect.

"I guess being cheated on isn't always a bad thing, right?" I can't help but keep the sneer out of my voice. My comment snaps him out of his daze, and he has the nerve to look ashamed.

"Michael," comes Jessica's whiny voice. "What's taking so..._Bella_?" Her eyes mimic Mike's, and I chuckle.

"Jessica." I nod. Her face drops when I confirm my identity. "So what are you two lovebirds up to today?"

"Uh, I'm making Jessica dinner." Mike holds up a basket with a few boxes of Kraft Mac'n'Cheese and a bag of salad. I really dodged the bullet on that one.

"You're a lucky, lucky girl, Jessica." If my face could split from smiling, it would.

"What are you doing here, Bella? Stocking up after your crash diet? You know it's all going back on your ass anyway." She looks thoughtful for a moment and then begins ranting again.

"Did you get lipo or something, because you were fat and kind of ugly a few days ago, and now you're not. I need to get the number of your doctor, because you clearly had zero recovery time," Jessica gushes, and her words hit me so fast, I can't even begin to formulate an insult in time. "Oh my God!" she squeals, "Are those Louboutins? Who are you, because I thought you were broke!"

"Jess!" Mike hisses, his face turning red in embarrassment. Though if I were fucking her, I'd be mortified, too.

"What? It's true!" Jessica stomps away towards the candy section.

Mike watches her retreating form before speaking, "Bella, I am really sorry."

"For what, exactly? The lying or the cheating, or maybe doing both, with your _secretary_? Did it have to be with such a horrible person? Could you be any more cliche?" Both hands go on my hips as I stare, hoping he feels small and insignificant. I was and still am somewhat hurt by Mike's infidelity, but it's more that I now pity him, because while I'm still breathing, my life will be infinitely better than his, and he's stuck with Jessica.

"For everything. You're a great person, and I know Jessica seems horrible at times, but deep down she's really not." He's staring down at his shoes, but he looks me in the eye when he says, "I love her, but you deserve better than someone like me, you always did."

"Thank you," I say, because I'm not sure what else would be appropriate. I'm caught off guard, and I don't like it one bit. I hate the idea of being so unaware. I cross my arms and amp up my cleavage so he stares at my boobs, so maybe I can loathe him for being a pig because I can't handle this level of intensity. Not when he's being so honest and heartfelt in the middle of Trader Joe's.

"I'm really sorry, Bella. For everything. I hope you take care of yourself. For the record, you really do look fantastic, but I've always thought you were beautiful just the way you were." He gives me a light peck on the cheek and strolls off after his evil bitch of a girlfriend. I try not to think too hard about his words, but I can't help it.

I don't know how long I've been standing in the same spot staring at the floor when Alice finds me.

"Bella," she asks softly. "You okay?"

"Yeah." I nod.

"I picked up everything we'll need, so we better get going if we want to beat traffic." She's talking to me like a woman coaxing a squirrel with a nut. Any minute now she's going to pat her lap and make smooching noises to lure me in.

I shake off all the awkward and conflicting feelings regarding what just happened and focus on my main goal: Not fucking up a meal for Edward and hoping against hope he doesn't see my birthmark, because I _know_ he'll ask if he sees it again. I know I would.

As we load items onto the conveyor belt, I ask, "Is he going to ask me about it?"

"Nope," she says, handing me a box of condoms.

"I'm on the shot. We're good."

"They aren't just for pregnancy; didn't you watch the eighth-grade class on herpes and HIV?"

"What school did you go to?" I ask. She stares at me, and I have to wonder, did she even go to school?

"You need them."

"For balloon animals?"

"Just because Rosalie sold her soul didn't make her vag pristine and clean."

"Huh?" I can feel her statement go flying over my head, or maybe it's the air conditioning.

"Do you want to risk getting sick, because you didn't ask for perfect health. Rosalie was a ho-bag, a walking petri dish, porn stars have cleaner-"

"Okay, I got it." I hold up my hand to stop her rant. My sides hurt from laughing and we're getting looks as if we're the crazy ones. It's just the soulless newscaster and her demonic sidekick, nothing to see here.

"So...what makes you think I'll be having sex anytime soon?" I try to be nonchalant, but fail miserably.

Alice taps her head and rolls her eyes. We pay for everything and quickly make our way back to Downtown. My phone vibrates indicating a missed call. I'd forgotten that I turned the phone down to avoid Renee and any of her flimsy, asshole excuses as to why she needs me.

"You should check that." Alice flips on the blinker and turns left.

I press the voicemail icon and hear the receptionist at my doctor's office leave me a message about rescheduling my birth control shot appointment. I really shouldn't doubt Alice as much as I do. The clock reads four forty-five, and I decide to call them tomorrow. I don't want to go, but I know I need to. At my last visit, I was running behind schedule and instead of a quick wipe with a towel, the washcloth with sparkle toothpaste had been used. It wasn't one of my finest moments, but my doctor certainly got a thrill. My clitoris looked like a disco ball, and ironically, it was the most interested Jake had ever been. That should have been my first clue that he was gay.

We get back to the building, and I glance around for any sign of Edward.

"He's not here yet. He won't be back for another hour."

"Good." I'm glad I have a little bit of time, just in case I actually lose a toe or maybe a finger this time. I'll need time to heal and clean up any mess or potential brain matter.

"I'm not cleaning up your bodily fluids," she mutters.

"God dammit! Stay out of my fucking head!"

"Stop making your thoughts so obvious!" She smirks and saunters off the elevator. I want to hurl a pack of scallops at her head, but she'd just turn around Matrix style and throw it back and break my nose. Then there would be blood and a waste of perfectly good mollusks.

As we begin to put away the groceries, a thought hits me.

"Spit it out, Bella."

"Can you move my birthmark?"

"He's already seen it, he knows you have it."

"But if I can move it, maybe he won't ask me about it."

"Where do you want it?"

"Somewhere he can't see it. You know, out of sight, out of mind?"

She sighs and her shoulders slump. I wonder if it's too much for her to do.

"Don't question me," she snaps.

"Whoa, hey now. I'm not questioning anything." I throw my hands up in mock defense, although with her, I always need to be aware.

"It'll be moved by the time he gets here."

"Thanks!" I feel brave and give her a loud, smacking kiss on the cheek.

"You humans are fucking gross. Why do you have to have so many different types of liquids come from your bodies?" She wipes my kiss away with her sleeve, but there's a twinkle in her eye, and I'm almost sure she likes my gesture of appreciation.

Everything moves quickly once we get inside the apartment, and I'm very happy with all the progress we make, until Alice doesn't pay attention and slips in a small blob of olive oil and a pot of boiling water goes flying across the kitchen and more importantly all over my face.

I scream at the heat and the way my skin boils, and all sense leaves me as I chuck the paring knife in Alice's direction. It stabs her in the leg, and much like my arm and face, it quickly heals, and I totally feel like the cheerleader from _Heroes._ _Save the Bella, Save the World. _I'm in so deep that I can't be saved, but that's okay, because two seconds ago, I almost lost a toe and was currently looking like an extra from _Shaun of the Dead, _and now I look like I could be in a Clinique ad. It's fucking _awesome._

Alice laughs, prying the knife from her leg and tosses it straight at my head. I catch it between my palms, inches in front of my face.

"You bitch!" I scream and laugh at the absolute ridiculousness of the situation. She laughs and shakes her head. I glance at the clock at the same time a knock comes from the front door.

"You'll clean this up?" I point at her with the knife.

"It's just Jasper, but you need to start getting ready anyway." She shrugs and reaches for a roll of paper towels. I don't know why she doesn't just use some demon mojo, or maybe she will and doesn't want me to see. I'm not exactly interested in knowing how everything works. I think it's better if I don't.

"What the hell happened in here?" Jasper asks, entering the kitchen.

"How'd you get in here?"

"I have a key." He gently takes my arm and says, "You're healing nicely." He runs his fingers lightly over my arm, causing chills and shivers in places I'd reserved for Edward.

"If you're done," Alice snaps from behind me, "she needs to get ready for her date. What are you doing here?"

"I need to talk to you." The warmth in his voice is gone. "He's not too pleased with that little stunt you pulled earlier."

"Me?" I squeak, because though he can't do anything to me, it's not a pleasant thought that I pissed him off. Seeing how angry he is, I'm not going to bring up how he has a key to my place.

"No, not you." He rolls his eyes. "Go get ready; I'm sure you'll be beautiful in anything you put on." He kisses the back of my hand and I feel myself blushing.

"Bella, you smell like hot dogs. Go shower and get ready."

I do as she says, and as I go into my room, I hear Alice ask, "I'm already stuck here, what's the worst he can do to me?"

I don't know who she's talking about, and I don't care to know. The less I know about their situation, the better.

"Do you really want to find out? We may have our moments, but the last thing I want to see is your end."

"I'm over it. Existing like this isn't worth it anymore." There's a slight pause before I hear Alice yell, "Go shower, Bella!"

If the conversation was meant to be overheard, I'm just as confused as the time I tried to tell Mary Kate from Ashley apart.

I step into the shower and rinse off, trying to forget their conversation. My A-game needs to be on Edward, not on Jasper and the tingles his fingers give me.

I turn off the shower, and as I step onto the bathmat, my foot feels strange. I ignore it until I hit the tile and a very uncomfortable feeling of slight pain and sensitivity on my right heel that makes me wince. I limp to the bed, and after finding an uncomfortable balancing position, I've found where she moved my nipple.

* * *

><p>So the bit about the nipple on her foot was inspired by this: http:  / perezhilton (dot) com / 2011-07-18-nipple-on-a-foot

Love it? Hate it? I'd love to hear from you!

The next chapter is almost done, and I hope to post on Sunday or Monday. Reviewers get teasers!

I have an entry in the Wannabeahardcorenerd Contest called, Edward Cullen Crashes Comic-Con. You can find the link in my profile.

Thank you all so much for the reviews and kind words!

Cheers

Anne


	17. Golden Girls and Mango Chutney

Hey there! I know I'm cutting it close to almost a whole week without posting. Crazy man, crazy!

Lots to acknowledge. **107yearoldvirginpreread, BellaSunshine **and **Kas90** beta'd.

Not a lot to say here, so see you down below!

* * *

><p>"Alice!" I whine from my bed. "What the hell?"<p>

She's at my door in an instant, looking way too pleased with herself. I know my hand won't hurt for long if I punch her, but I really need her to fix this.

"You asked me to move it." She points at my foot with a spatula. "So I did."

"Why my foot, though? It feels like I'm being punched in the tit every time I walk!"

"It's my understanding that Edward doesn't have a foot fetish. He won't see it."

"Punched. In. The. Tit."

"Fine!" She throws her hands in the air and mutters something in what sounds like Latin, and suddenly I can walk without being turned on or in pain.

"Where is it?"

"It looks like a mole on your lower back."

I run my fingers and feel a slight bump. It's not sensitive like the nipple was. I narrow my eyes at her. "You're not giving me cancer, are you?"

"No." She rolls her eyes. "It's not cancerous."

"There's nothing funny or weird I need to know about it?"

"No! For fuck's sake, Bella, I'm not trying to trick you," she protests, and I want to believe her.

"Then why make it a real nipple and put it on my foot?"

"I wanted to make a point."

"Which is..." I wave my right hand in the air for her to continue; my left is holding up my towel.

"You have to be careful about what you ask for, that your actions have consequences."

We jump when there's a loud crash out in the main room.

"Ah, shit," Alice mutters. She points her finger at me and says, "We're not done with this conversation. Get dressed. Edward will be ready in twenty and here in thirty. Dress casual."

I quickly look in the mirror and see that my birthmark now looks like a giant blackhead, and I can definitely live with that. I throw on some makeup as well as some jeans and a long sleeve t-shirt.

I have a feeling we'll need to be able to settle in, relax and have a talk. I'm not entirely sure about everything that needs to be discussed, but I have no doubt Rosalie will be involved.

I go into the kitchen, and whatever was destroyed is cleaned up, and everything looks in its place. Jasper is drinking a beer on the couch, and Alice is nowhere to be seen. He doesn't look mad; instead he's calm and looks incredibly sexy stretched out on my couch.

"Where's Alice?" I plop down next to him, and he instantly shifts his body towards me.

"She had to take a business call."

"Meaning?"

"She's in Hell."

"Oh." I contemplate asking more, but I know Jasper doesn't have the same foresight that Alice does, so he probably won't know when she'll be back. I can only guess that she's none too happy leaving him here with me.

I don't know if they're together or what their backstory is, but it's insanely creepy how he looks at me, knowing he diddled her less than a day ago.

As if he can sense my hesitation, he tells me that he's not sure how long Alice will be gone.

"So where is Hell, exactly?" I ask, tucking my legs underneath my butt.

"It's south of here." He gives me a smug smile that looks a little too good on him.

"No shit." I roll my eyes, because it's always been common knowledge, to me at least, that Hell is the Underworld, therefore it's _south._

"No, _really_. It's south, in the Caribbean."

"Hell, where souls go, is in the Bermuda Triangle?"

"No, Grand Cayman."

"I'm so lost." I shake my head and chuckle at the absurdity of it all.

"So...Edward's going to be here soon, and I'm pretty sure he's not your biggest fan. You should probably get out of here." I play with an imaginary string on the couch and avoid meeting his eyes.

"I don't understand why." I glance up to see Jasper frowning, and it's such an unattractive look for his gorgeous face.

"I think he feels threatened. I don't know. I should just shut up now." Because I need to stop talking.

"Did he say something?" And now we've gone from Grim Reaper and Soulless Phony to teenage girls who are about to trade Bonne Bell lipgloss over the game Mall Madness.

"I really shouldn't say anything, Jasper. I'm sorry." I get up to leave, and he stops me by gently grabbing my wrist. His touch is gentle, but has a firmness I don't care for, and the look in his eyes says _sit the fuck down. _I sit back down, and his fingers trace along the seam of my jeans, from my knee to my thigh and it's not an unwanted feeling, but something about it doesn't feel right.

"Bella," he says in a low voice. "I need you to understand where I'm coming from. First and foremost, we have a working relationship."

"You mean the part where you get my soul when someone wants to take me down?"

"Yes, but I'd like to think we could be friends under the right circumstances." His fingers continue to make light patterns on my leg, and I can't help but love the way it feels.

"The way you and Alice are friends?" I scoot away, but I'm still close enough to where he can touch me, and it's like little sparks are lighting me from the inside.

"She's always going to be there, but Bella, I see such potential in us," he lowers his voice and leans closer, and my body is craving his touch so, so badly. It's the way he says _'us_'that insinuates it's more than a "business" relationship he's nose grazes against my earlobe, and it'd be so easy to turn my head and kiss him like I know he wants.

We're thankfully interrupted by a _pager_ going off and a knock on the door. The haze disappears, and I can suddenly see clearly. Grim Reaper or not, there's something completely wrong with Jasper, and I know there's more he's not telling me. I want to know what it is, I _need_ to know, and I hope in the future, my ability to separate the liars will come in handy.

I stand up quickly, a little too fast, and Jasper catches me with one arm before I fall. His other hand is busy checking his pager. He yells, "Come in!" and instantly Edward comes into view with a bottle of wine. Who knew a vein in his neck could be so visible from fifteen feet away?

Jasper mutters, "She's kicked my ass three times already. I don't get why they can't send someone else." He looks upset and maybe slightly nervous.

"Who do they want you to get?"

"Betty White."

"What's going on?" Edward asks, setting the bottle on the counter a little too hard. The poor granite doesn't deserve that. I push Jasper's body away from me and move toward Edward.

"Bella and I were merely having a business discussion. It's good to see you again, Edward." Jasper crosses the room and shakes Edward's hand. Just like the other night, it looks like they're engaged in yet _another_ pissing match.

Jasper grabs his jacket from the coat rack and says, "Don't forget what we talked about, Bella." He leaves with a slight flourish and me to deal with Edward's angry face.

"Did I interrupt something?" The bitterness in his tone is hard to miss.

"Not a thing." I give him a hug and whisper how good it is to see him, because it is, and he looks like he's been to Hell and back, minus the tan. He returns my hug, and his body relaxes into mine. I stagger backwards, just a bit because he's a big guy, and I may cop a feel just a little when I pretend to regain my balance.

He pulls back a little, and I run my fingers through his hair and it's so, so soft. I bet he uses a girl's shampoo, because I don't think men's hygiene products are meant to do this.

"Long day, huh?" I give him my best look of understanding, and it's not that I don't care, because I do, but only about things that concern him. The sooner everything with Rosalie is finished-because she's finished- Edward and I can be together without any hang-ups.

"You could say that. I've never been sent an e-vite to a funeral before, let alone one with a leopard print background."

I can't help but snort. "Do I even need to ask who sent it?" It has to be Tanya; only a person with press-on nails would think that animal print for any occasion is classy.

He narrows his eyes and-oh shit, he's probably just remembering that I was at the station for most of the day and was around her former coworkers. I want to bring myself to care, but I just can't do it. That was her life, and I'll be damned-no pun intended- if I'm going to live the same life she did. She clearly didn't make the most of what she had, when she had it. I _will_.

"If you had told me a week ago that I'd be attending my ex-girlfriend's funeral and standing in my current girlfriend's apartment, I would have said you were insane."

I don't bother to hide my smile when he calls me his girlfriend, though we're too old for titles, I'm not about mincing words right now. Edward Cullen called me his girlfriend, and my inner Mariah Carey sucks her lollipop and giggles. She's my inner-child, because while she may be in her forties, the girl never mentally passed puberty.

"Are you hungry?" I change the subject, hoping to appeal to his appetite which could lead to a different kind of meal-like me. I move to the fridge and take out the platters Alice had arranged. We uncork the wine and fill our plates with all sorts of delicious looking foods. Alice has truly outdone herself. Since I don't have to worry about fat pants ever again, I load up on crab-stuffed puff pastries and pan-seared scallops.

"Here or the couch?" Edward asks.

"Couch." If I'm going to stuff my face, I might as well be comfortable.

He nods in agreement, and after a few minutes of me trying to quietly chew my food, and ignore the fact he's staring at my mouth, his first words are, "So what did you think of Royce King?"

I cough and sputter and fist-pump my chest, because damn it, I was _not_ expecting that. Before I can even think of an answer, I gulp my wine and finally answer, "Sleazeball would be the nice thing to say."

"You don't find him appealing?" Edward has a small smirk on the corner of his lips, along with a bit of the mango chutney, both of which are tempting.

"Appealing to what?"

"I don't know..." His voice trails off, and I see a hint of insecurity. I'm suddenly flooded with the memory of Rosalie being a slut-bag and how devastated Royce was. _Oh._

"Edward," I begin, grabbing his hand and balancing a plate with the other. I look into his eyes and gently rub my thumb over his knuckles. "I'd rather have liposuction done with a Dyson than be hit on by Royce King. There is absolutely nothing appealing about the guy."

His shoulders relax a little, and he chuckles, taking a bite of his scallop. "You really don't mince words, do you?" he says after swallowing.

"I really don't."

"Trust me, you don't need liposuction or anything of the sort." The way his eyes scan my body make me tingle, and I giggle. For a few seconds, I can't help but feel guilty that I'm deceiving Edward in a way, but if this is how he sees me, if he ever saw the _real_ me, he'd be disgusted. Clearly he's drawn to beauty and physical perfection. The man is a gorgeous specimen and needs someone in his league. So...I'm on deck.

I can't help but bite my lip. I know it's a horrible habit and causes bucked teeth, but it's how I play coy, and I can't help myself.

"I can't kiss you if you're going to pretend to be shy and demure."

Demure...nice word. I notice he's set his plate next to his wine glass and is leaning forward. I quickly follow suit, and before I can say _"chutney," _ his mouth is on mine. The sweet and bitter taste of wine on his breath mixes on my tongue, and it's divine.

My body breaks into a chill. I need to be warmed, and the idea of an Edward Snuggie is a fucktastic idea. My nails skate just under the hem of his shirt, and he's so, so soft. _It puts the lotion on the skin-_horror movies be damned. He moves to kiss my neck, so I shake off the cannibalistic thoughts and make it seem that I'm giving him more access, which I am. It's a win-win.

He grinds into my hip and this is much hotter than last night because we've gotten the awkwardness out of the way, and I'm wondering how far we'll go tonight. Before I can think much more, he whispers that he wants to move things to the bedroom because a king-sized bed is much, much better than a leather sectional. Not to mention, my bed hasn't been christened, and I'm almost one-hundred percent sure this couch has.

As we make our way to the bed, he pushes me against a wall; his tongue is teasing mine, and after light traces between my legs, he slowly begins to work the zipper on my jeans. I feel a rush between my legs, one that taints the arousal.

I tell him to go ahead because I need to freshen up. I give a little wink and hope it doesn't look like a twitch. I flip on the light and I know.

No.

_No._

_NO, NO, NO._

I don't know if it's Alice's sick version of a joke or Mother Nature, but I just got cock-blocked by my period.

* * *

><p>Like it? Love it? Hate 'Fade to Red?' The next chapter is almost done, and I promise it's absolutely nonsense in the way of fifth-grade humor.<p>

**Virgy**gets totally credit for the Betty White line, and it also turns out, we both visited Hell on our honeymoons in Grand Cayman. Yes, there actually is a place called Hell.

Reviewers get teasers!

Thank you for reading!

Anne


	18. Melanie Griffith and Breakfast Pastries

So...hey there.

Remember how I said updates will slow down? I didn't mean for it to be about a month, so I'm really sorry for that.

If you follow me on twitter, you know I now have a job that keeps me at all hours and breaks my will not to cry almost every day. Go figure that I love it. I've wanted to get these words down forever ago and have just now found the time.

Preread by **107yearoldvirgin** and beta'd by **BellaSunshine **and **Kas90. **

**Thank you all so much for your patience, I truly appreciate it. Btw...it's my 30th birthday today and I have enjoyed Brazil's version of the mojito. Yay!**

* * *

><p>I look around my bathroom and immediately wonder if there's something I can use to plug the leak, then reality slaps me in the face and-<p>

"Bella, are you okay in there?" Edward asks through the door. I hear something hard hit the door and fight the urge to groan, because if it's his dick that's knocking, this apartment will be rocking; regardless of my...situation.

"Yeah, I'm good." I go through the tampon routine like always since I was in the eighth grade, and I wonder if I need to hide the evidence. I'm not ashamed of what's natural, but tampons have always made me feel like a drug smuggler. There's only one thing that should naturally be going in _there,_ and it's hopefully knocking on my bathroom door.

I check myself in the mirror, and when I come out, I see Edward looking incredibly sexy propped up against the headboard. He holds his arms out and I crawl into bed and snuggle against his chest. His body is hard and lean, but his pec muscles have just the right amount of squish, and I fit perfectly. Like he was made for me.

He kisses the top of my head, and his left hand starts playing with the top of my jeans. Tilting my head up, he kisses me hard. Before I can protest, he slides his body and yeah-that was definitely not his hand knocking.

"I've been thinking about you all day," he says, his breath a mix of a groan and whisper. His hot breath makes me shiver and my nipples harden, to the point where it's painful. Which now reminds me why the apartment won't be rocking.

"Edward, I have to-oh god that feels good." I grind my hips in response to his thrusting and the nipping he's doing on my neck.

"You have to what?" He has a playful smile because he's being a smug bastard and knows how to work my body.

"Have to tell you something." I gasp and might even cry because we're going to have to stop. I should have asked for a hysterectomy in my contract.

"What is it?" He stops his movements altogether and looks slightly concerned. "Are you okay, because if I'm moving too fast, you have to tell me. For some reason I can't help myself-"

"No, no." I chuckle and feel bad for making him worry. "I'm from Alabama."

"Are we related?" He looks slightly horrified.

"What? NO!" I yell.

"Then what is it?"

Well, now I feel stupid because I _thought_ I was being clever. I decide to follow through anyway. "I'm on my period."

"Since when?"

"Just now." I sigh and throw my head back for dramatics and hope he sees my level of frustration. "I'm sorry." On so many levels, I'm so fucking sorry.

"Wow, that sucks. Do you need me to get you something?" he offers.

"I'm good." I know every move has been calculated, and there's an equation still working, but I feel so lucky for everything. Why is this man so damn sweet to someone like me? "Just a little...frustrated."

He tries to be subtle and grab his crotch to adjust himself, and I can't begin to imagine how blue he might be.

"I'm sorry," I say again.

"It's Mother Nature, right?" He gives me a kiss on the head. I close my eyes and enjoy the proximity of our bodies, and I think he is, too.

"Yeah, Mother Nature," I agree. _Or Alice, _I think; she's a menacing and intrusive little fucker.

"Well," he sighs, "we might as well have that talk." Yeah, that _talk._ It's like the goddamn bridge to nowhere, but now here we are. We're at the end and about to fall off.

"What do we have to discuss?" My mind is kind of hazy, because I know we need to have a grown-up interaction without some sort of sexual entanglement. It's time to put on my big girl panties-literally, because cute thongs and cheekies are not comfortable while being a member of the SEC.

He looks down at me with a slightly embarrassed grin. "You ever have your mind running a million miles an hour, and it feels as if there are so many things that you need to discuss, but when the time comes, it turns out that what you've been thinking of isn't that big of a deal?"

"Something like that," I agree. It's like he's read my diary, or my mind. Whatever.

"I feel like we need to talk about Rosalie, but I'm not sure what else there is. I know I don't really have the right to tell you to stay away from people, but fuck, Bella, there's something not right with Jasper."

I bite back my retort of, "You have no idea." I simply nod and swirl my fingers along his abs and try to do that looking-through-my-lashes, but I end up developing a slight twitch from focusing too hard.

"Okay," I say. "What else is there?"

"I want you to promise me that you'll be careful at the station. Tanya's ruthless-a twit, but ruthless. Royce King is a grade-A asshole and will use any kind of situation to improve his lot in life."

These are things I already know, but I willingly agree. Anything to keep this man in my bed, even if we can't do anything.

He groans and stretches his arms above his head, his t-shirt rising, and I'm drawn to his v-line right above his abs like a turkey to glitter. I don't know how I didn't notice it before, but I sure am now, and I _really_ need to see if he has an extra nipple or third ball because I know this kind of body can't be natural. I know mine isn't.

"See something you like?"

"I might. Do you?"

He slides his body so that we're parallel and kisses me slowly. "I see something I like and want very much." He slips his hand up the back of my shirt and his fingertips tickle my spine. I bury my face and snuggle into his chest. "I don't know what it is about you, Bella, but ever since I saw you at the Gala, I've felt drawn to you. If I'm not with you, everything I see constantly keeps you in the forefront of my mind in some way or another. I can assure you, when receiving a presentation in my office and all I can think about is when I'm going to have you on my desk naked-it makes for a slightly awkward situation."

I snort into his shirt. _Dreamlover _lyrics start on auto-repeat.

"When?" I quirk an eyebrow.

"Obviously not as soon as I had hoped, but soon enough."

"I think I can get behind that."

"I wouldn't mind getting behind you," he says, and I think he's bold, but when I look at him, I see his ears are tinged with pink and he has a look of disbelief that he can't believe he said that either.

I stretch my neck to kiss him, but instead I yawn right in his face. It's been a long day, and between Royce's grubby mitts, Jasper's blatant disregard of Reaper and Future Damned boundaries, and now my period, it's been a really long day and clearly I'm more tired than I thought.

"I'm sorry," I mumble, and I move away to check for kitten breath.

"Don't apologize. I think we've both had busy days, and I have a feeling they're only going to get longer."

I dramatically throw my arm over my eyes and groan. I know he's right, and until I can get the hang of being on the air, I might be stressed. Maybe I should just take Alice's advice and learn to trust in my new ability to be good at everything. He pulls a blanket over us and turns off the light.

I half-heartedly palm his cock and he chuckles. "Soon," he promises, and kisses me long and deep, not caring if my breath smells like Tidy Cat. And just like that, I'm asleep, in Edward Cullen's arms.

I wake up feeling refreshed and notice that the space next to me is empty and the sheets are cold. I look around and I don't see a note. It's not like he owed me one, but it would have been nice.

I shuffle into the kitchen to find that Alice is back with a healthy tan and holding a large cup of coffee for me. I eye it warily, and she makes like she's going to throw it on me but thrusts the mug in my hand.

"Drink it."

"You first."

"I'm not going to poison you."

"I'm not so sure about that."

"Bella, I had a shit trip and I'm not in the mood. Even if I did go Jane Fonda and put rat poison in there, it wouldn't kill you."

"Uh, okay? We have rats?" Then I vaguely remember watching _9 to 5_ with Renee back in her shoulder-pad heyday. I don't know why, but I suddenly feel compelled to tell Alice about Jasper hitting on me. I don't know their arrangement, but I figure the more upfront I'm about it, the more likely she won't kill me before my time.

"Good God, you're an idiot sometimes." She rolls her eyes and fixes herself another cup of coffee.

"Alice, I need to talk to you about something." I shift from side-to-side and rest my elbows on the breakfast bar.

"I'm going to guess this is about Jasper." She sighs, and it sounds a little sad. Now I really feel bad, despite the fact I didn't do anything wrong.

"Yeah, how did you know?"

"He teased you, leaned in close and whispered about what a great team you'd be. I bet he even used a bit of his charm, didn't he?" She turns around but doesn't look angry, instead she looks...resigned.

"How did you know?"

"He pulled the same bullshit with me. Sadly for me, I fell for it, and I still do."

"Wait, what do you mean he did the same thing?" While I'm not entirely surprised to hear he's a bit of a whore, I'm oddly disappointed that despite all my changes, I'm still not considered slightly special.

"Another story for another day. Go shower; we have to leave soon."

"Yeah, fine." I'm used to getting the half-truth crap now and just accept that I may never fully know the answers to any of my questions.

I'm halfway to the bathroom when Alice says my name. I turn and she's holding out a folded piece of paper towards me. "Loverboy left this on the counter this morning. I wonder if he's as good with his dick as he is with a pen."

I read his note, and it has me smiling throughout my morning routine and until we arrive at the station forty-five minutes later.

We walk in through the main lobby, and a scone and Starbuck's coffee are immediately thrust into my hands by a girl about my height and stature.

"Hi, I'm Angela Webber, and I'm your new assistant!" She literally squeals, and I can hear the Deliverance theme somewhere in the background.

Alice snorts and lightly pushes her away. "I'm Bella Swan's assistant, but thank you."

Angela grabs Alice's wrist to catch her attention. "I don't think you understand. I've been specifically appointed to be by her side and to make sure all her needs are attended to." Angela's voice is more forceful, and though she's a little mousy and has a slight hunch in her back, there is no doubt that she could best Alice in a good ole' fashioned cat-fight. I don't harbor any lesbian tendencies, but watching those two go at it would be fucking fantastic.

"Alice, it's cool. Angela's just trying to help and do her job." I gently pull Alice out of Angela's grip and separate the two women.

"Angela, would you please show me where everything is? Mr. King gave me a tour yesterday, but it wasn't all that great."

"Nothing about Mr. King is great," she mutters.

I look over my shoulder and say, "Alice, I'll call you, okay?"

She nods, but she's staring and rubbing her wrist. There are some red marks from where Angela was holding her, and she looks to be in a bit of pain. My new assistant calls my name before I can say anything else. I follow her into the elevator, taking a big bite of my scone. I notice Angela also has a bit of a limp and I can understand that, given how high her heels are.

"New shoes?" I ask, sputtering crumbs everywhere. Angela doesn't hesitate to whip out a lint brush and roll it across my boobs to catch the debris.

"Something like that," she says.

"Angela, it's okay." I laugh uncomfortably that a woman I just met is getting up close and personal with my chesty bits. The only person who can touch those right now is Edward. The thought of him and his note make me grin like an idiot, and I don't care if Angela notices.

We get to our floor and Angela shows me to my office, Rosalie's former space, and I scan the room for any signs of her lingering presence.

"Ms. Swan, perhaps now would be a good time for us to discuss what we expect of each other?"

"Excuse me?" I'm pretty sure personal assistants aren't supposed to talk their bosses like that. I mean, Alice does, but that's because she's a hell-spawn and is thoroughly evil. Angela isn't.

"No offense, Ms. Swan, but I was Rosalie's assistant, too. I hate to speak ill of the deceased, but she was a grade-A bitch, and I refuse to be a lapdog again."

"Wow, uhm...okay?" I sit down in the cushy leather chair and wiggle a little, trying to create my own ass-print.

After a few minutes of thinking, I come up with what I think sounds fair and honest. "I want you to be truthful with me, and if you have a suggestion on how something might be better then say something. I don't want you to touch my boobs ever again-even if it's with a lint brush. I'm sure you're a very nice girl, but that's just weird. I expect you to help me stay on track when it comes to meetings and schedules. Alice is a good friend of mine-" Angela snorts, but I ignore it. "I want you to be nice to her, okay?"

"Anything else?" For someone who was so excited at the start of the morning, she now looks bored and a little indifferent. This mood-swing shit is going to get real old, real quick if this keeps happening.

"I only want coffee if you're getting some for yourself. And please, call me Bella."

"Did you just quote _Working Girl_?"

"Maybe?"

Angela cracks a genuine smile, and the tension is broken. She's quite pretty when she's relaxed. "Can I tell you what I would like now?" She leans against the door jamb and takes a deep breath.

"Go for it."

"Like I said before, Rosalie was awful. There wasn't an ounce of good in her; I have a sense for these things. There's good in you, Bella. Please treat me with respect and I will bend over backwards to make sure everything in your work life runs smoothly. I promise not to touch your boobs again, and I'll even throw in keeping Tanya away from you as long as you don't stare at my back or give me any pity."

"I think that sounds fair." It really does because I'd forgotten all about the she-harpy with super-glue nails.

She turns to leave but stops. "There's one more thing."

"What's that?"

"I've heard the rumors that you're involved with Mr. Cullen. If that's true, he's a good man. Please don't treat him the same way Rosalie did. He deserves better than that."

"I couldn't agree more, Angela."

* * *

><p>Love it? Hate it? Want to smack me with something (I don't blame you if ya do)?<p>

I hope you liked it! Because updates and the next chapter is beginning so slowly, any reviewers will recieve a bit of an outtake I'm doing for the **FandomFightsLLS.**

Thank you for reading!

Cheers

Anne


	19. Chocolate Cake and Family Trees

Hey there! A lot to mention, so I'm going to say it all at the bottom!

**107yearoldvirgin, BellaSunshine **and **Kas90** have made this better than the crap I initially gave them.

This chapter is for **Forever_Liz**, it's her birthday today! She made me a spiffy little gif for my bday, and since I'm pretty much crap at anything graphic, this is for her!

Answers are coming...

* * *

><p>The rest of the week flies by. Angela is a God-send in keeping me on schedule and making sure I'm on time to the news desk and in meetings. She is able to keep Royce off my back, and I'm pretty sure she slashed Tanya's tires after I questioned Tanya spitting in my coffee. She holds up her end of the bargain and I hold up mine. If things continue to go smoothly, I can see us becoming friends. In a sense, Angela is better than a cranberry-orange scone with cream cheese frosting. That good.<p>

On the home front, things are not so great. Edward is taking some of my calls, but most of the time he sends me straight to voicemail or will text me back. The day of Rosalie's funeral, he didn't talk to me at all. Alice is a surly bitch about her replacement at _my_ work. She sulks around the apartment and mutters nonsense about alternative methods, and I know I hear "idiot-proof" and my name in the same sentence at least twice.

Right now she's in the kitchen making a Devil's Food cake because we're having company, and I can only guess who it is. I'm sulking because Edward is ignoring my call for at least the fourth time today, and Alice refuses to give me any insight. She simply tells me that he's busy, but she can assure me he'll be around soon and when he does he will have a lot to say.

I want to talk to him; I miss him and I could use an educated mind to bounce ideas off of when it comes to the station and just about life in general. Not to mention I stopped having my period as soon as Alice got back and I'm ready to get it on. Lord knows Mike never had anything more than an inchworm compared to Edward's trouser snake.

My thoughts are interrupted when Alice yells for me to answer the door. I roll my eyes and answer the door. I'm immediately met with gold eyes.

"Really?"

"What?" he asks, pretending he doesn't know.

"I thought you were trying to be incognito." It's not a question.

"Sometimes it's best to hide in plain sight." He brushes past me and kisses Alice on the cheek. I see her hands ball into fists as his lips touch her skin.

"Can I get you something to drink?"

"Scotch if you have it."

"I don't know if I should call you Rush or Mr. Limbaugh."

"Sir is just fine, Isabella."

"Can I ask why you picked this facade?" I pour him two fingers from a bottle that has mysteriously appeared, and it's one of the many things I no longer have to question.

He shrugs and answers, "The political races are warming up; it's my version of satire." He throws back the scotch. I'm fascinated by the way his jowls wobble, and he holds the glass out for a refill.

"Wouldn't Christine O'Donnell have been more effective? At least she admitted to having an altar."

His eyebrows shoot up and I think, if only for a brief second, that I've managed to impress the Prince of Darkness-or maybe that's Voldemort, I can never keep them straight.

"Yes, but she's no longer relevant. It is important in my line of work to always be relevant, to be a constant thought in the back of a person's mind. Do you have any other suggestions for my appearance, or would you like to see my true form?" His tone is no longer cordial, and he's lowered it several octaves. I have goose-bumps up and down my arms, and I don't like it, not one bit.

I see Alice sliding a finger across her throat- her eyes are wide and she's shaking her head vigorously. Message received.

"No, sir. I think Rush Limbaugh is close enough to your true form."

"I agree." He nods and tosses back his second drink. "Take a seat, Isabella."

Alice slides the decadent chocolate cake towards us and quietly disappears.

"I believe that you and Jasper had a discussion a week ago about your future, am I right?"

I think back to the way his fingers traced patterns on my leg and push away the rising lust. "We did."

"Have you given any thoughts to his offer?"

"To be honest, not really. He only told me that I had a promising future." At least, I think that's what he told me, I can't really remember at this point. A flawless memory is another thing I should have asked for, along with Alice's ability to see the future so I wouldn't have to worry about hindsight all the damn time.

Rush sighs and eases back into his barstool. "What he was supposed to do was pass a message along for me, but clearly he's just as horny now as he was two hundred years ago and still can't do a damn thing straight."

I choke on my tongue. "Two hundred years?"

"Do you have a problem with older men?"

"N-n-n-n-no," I stutter. "You both look very good for your respective ages."

He grins, and his teeth look _really_sharp; they're sort of like Lindsey Lohan's cracked and yellowed chiclets, but still menacing.

"What was it that Jasper was supposed to talk to me about?"

"When someone comes along and wishes for what you have, your soul becomes mine." There's a glint in his eye, and that dreadful feeling that has slowly been becoming more apparent knocks the residual lust on its ass. "There's a way to keep your soul, if you wish."

"Are you canceling the contract?" Because I'd love to keep my soul, but there has to be a catch-there always is.

He barks out a laugh, and I'm distracted by the insane amount of ear-hair. "Don't be silly, little girl. You're mine, it's just how you choose to spend eternity that can make your transition easier or harder."

"So it's your way or the hard way? You're already getting my soul, what more do you want from me?"

"I want you to work for me."

"Breaking down sulfa rocks in hell?"

"Don't get smart. Jasper and I have discussed it, and I believe that you're the perfect recruitment tool."

"Recruitment?" Be all I can be, in the evil army?

"I want you to do what Alice does. Pray on the weak and find those who are vulnerable and exploit their needs and desires."

I think back to how I met Alice and how she seemed to miraculously appear right when I was hitting my lowest point in life.

"I don't think I'd be very good at it. I can't just fool anyone into thinking I can be their friend like Alice can. I'm fairly anti-social-"

"I disagree, and this wasn't really a negotiation. Be grateful I'm giving you an option to spend more time on earth, rather than smashing brimstone. I can't force you to do anything, I can only give you choices. You have twenty-four hours to decide and you will let me know your decision." He stands, so I stand too, and Alice slowly comes out of her room. She has her head down like a kid who's been called out of timeout.

"I trust we are under a clear understanding of your responsibilities and your new duties. I don't want to have to punish you again." He looks pointedly at Alice and I half expect him to wag his finger.

I shift my eyes away from the two of them, because the tone and body language of the situation is so very, very wrong- like Chris Hansen is going to pop-up and offer Rush a glass of lemonade.

"Yes, sir. I promise I understand what you expect of me. I won't stray or break the rules." Alice's voice is robotic and monotone. She's not making eye contact, and it's completely out of character for her. I have no doubt that once our company leaves, she'll be calling me a "fucknut" in no time flat.

Sure enough, not even a few minutes after Limbaugh leaves, she throws the cake in the trash.

"Hey! What if I wanted to eat that?"

"I took your cellulite away, and I can give it back. Don't fuck with me. Fucknut."

"Good to see you're back at full-strength."

"It's good to be back. We need to talk, now." There's a sense of urgency in her voice and I don't want her to change her mind. I have a lot of questions about Edward, the new proposition, and Jasper. I'm going to nab this opportunity like a lock of Justin Bieber's hair and run with it.

"Great, let me just grab my coat." I disappear into my room and can't find my pullover. I give up and come back out to find a very pissed-off Alice staring at a very morose looking Edward.

"Hey," I say warily. I'm not sure why he's here, because twenty minutes ago he told me he was going to be working late...again. "What are you doing here?"

"I needed to see you." I look closer, and he has dark circles around his eyes and he looks absolutely exhausted. I have a little sympathy for him, because he looks like shit, but something comes over me. While I'm glad he's here, suddenly, I'm _pissed._ Who does he think he is, showing up when he wants?

"I'm on my way out with Alice. Maybe we can catch up later tonight."

His face falls at my rejection, and I feel kinda, sorta bad, but only so much because I'm not here to be at his beck and call. If he knew what I've gone through to have him in my life-actually, if Edward was aware of what I've done, then he'd be running in the other direction. Though, I wonder, what would happen if I did tell Edward I sold my soul. I don't remember anything about secrecy in my contract.

"Ouch!" I slap Alice's hand after she pinches my shoulder. "What the fuck?"

"Don't even think about it," she hisses.

"Whatever, we were just leaving." Alice brushes past him, brushing her shoulder against his. I'm not sure what her deal is with him, but it's not my business unless she tells me.

I move to do the same, but he grabs my wrist. "Bella, please," he begs. "I can barely eat, I can't sleep and I can't focus on anything going on. I'm trying to figure out what's happening, but when I'm not with you, I feel like a junkie waiting for my next fix."

"Well good for you, I hope you got what you needed." I jerk my wrist back and glare at him. He wants me to drop my plans when he's been the one blowing me off? I may have sold my soul, but I'm not completely fucking stupid.

"Please let me explain why I've been so distant. I miss you so much, and I wasn't lying when I told you work was keeping me away. It's only been a week, but it feels like so much more." He takes my hand, gently this time, and kisses the back of it.

My heart begins to melt and I feel myself cave. The truth is, I've missed him-talking, kissing, even smelling him on my pillows. "Tomorrow, okay? I really do have to run though."

He gives me a genuine smile and my pulse slightly increases. "Thank you, thank you, thank you," he whispers, leaning down and gives me a soft, lingering kiss.

"You knew he was coming," I accuse. I blow on my tea, because I've already given up my most prized possesion , I'm not giving up anything else, including my taste-buds.

"I had a feeling he'd be stopping by, but it was a game-time decision." She shrugs and I know she's trying to look casual, but every now and again I catch her scanning the room, looking for someone or some_thing._

"So what are we here to talk about?" I don't want to fuck around. After I left the apartment and a morose looking Edward, I could have easily used some alone time, but there was an urgency in Alice's motions. Much like a toddler doing the potty-dance, I just had to go.

"Don't take the deal," she murmurs.

"If it keeps me from spending an eternity in Hell, why not?"

"For fuck's sake, Bella!" She pounds her fist on the table, rattling the dishes. "Do you think I'm happy doing what I do? You think I enjoy spending my entire existence hunting down stupid, vain, fat, and-or vulnerable people and then babysit their lazy asses, all while knowing that if they'd just tried a little harder then none of us would be in this mess?"

People are staring, and I slouch in my chair. Alice lowers her voice but continues her tirade. "I don't suppose you would understand, and here I was hoping that you were starting to see the big picture. Just because I can eat, sleep, and breathe doesn't mean I'm living. I'm in Hell, Bella. Every fucking day is Groundhog Day, but you have the option to turn it down and keep going, but you won't do that. You're going to keep pushing for that bigger and better deal, because you don't know how to appreciate a good thing when you have it." She wipes her eyes with her sleeve and waits for me to respond.

I'm silent, for once, stunned by her words. "I see," I whisper. I stand, not wanting to look her in the eye. I'm not quite sure what I'm feeling, but disappointment is a big one. Sadness, deceived and hurt are also present and accounted for.

"Bella, wait. Please." She reaches for my wrist, but I pull away before she can touch me.

I get it now. How she feels about me and why she's always so rude. I'm not entirely sure if it's jealousy that I have the chance and she made the wrong choice, or if it's because I'm making more of my opportunity than she had. She didn't have to fall in line or love with Jasper, but that was her choice, and that's her problem, not mine.

"He was her uncle," Alice says from behind me.

I stop halfway to the door, but I don't turn around. "What?"

"Her great-uncle four generations back, actually."

I turn around and roll my eyes. "Who are you talking about?"

"Jasper and Rosalie."

* * *

><p>So what did you think?<p>

I apologize for those who were looking for the EPOV outtake in the last donation piece. Real life got in the way and I bit off more than I can chew. I can promise that it's still coming and I'll post it as a regular outtake under _Heart to Give._

A few reviewers have started getting a little nasty in regards to choices I have made in this story. So to you, I say: I love scones. Delish, warm and buttery scones with tea or hot chocolate make the world go round. If you want someone to be cliche and have their characters be addicted to chocolate brownies or cookies-this is the wrong story for you. Nothing about this story is canon and if you don't like it, you know where the X is.

Reviewers get teasers!

Thank you all so much for reading!

Anne


	20. Sex and Candy

Hey there! I'm sorry I was such a fail in getting this out to you guys in such a timely manner, but hey, life happens.

This was pre-read by the lovely **107yearoldvirgin** and sexy **BellaSunshine. **This monster (at least for me this is a big chapter) was beta'd by **Laurnorder. **I also need to thank **KitsuShel** for kicking my ass in gear to get this done, despite the fact she doesn't read it.

****I don't have too much to say, except that this chapter earns it's M rating. Yay!

Songs:

Jet- Look What You've Done

James Morrison- You Get Me/You Give Me Something

Keane-Somewhere Only We Know

Howie Day-Collide

Marcy's Playground- Sex and Candy

* * *

><p>"Why are you telling me this now?"<p>

"Because, I want you to understand the consequences of your actions...again." Her honesty hits me hard, making me stagger backwards a bit. She lowers her voice and says, "It's not a gift or a joy to live forever. Please think about this."

"Why should I trust you, though? Jasper was the one to keep me from sleeping with Edward the first night; you were encouraging him to cheat on Rosalie."

"You should know by now that everyone is out for themselves. Anything Jasper or myself tell you is mostly based on selfish motives that will benefit us more than you. I know it sounds harsh, but it's the truth. You feel that, don't you-the honesty? I'm not lying to you, Bella."

I can't look at her because I'm sure she's being sincere, and that's something I can't handle right now. She's laid a lot on me, and the last thing this situation needs is forgiveness. What I need more than anything is space.

The urge to flee is overwhelming, so I simply nod at her and leave. I don't tell her where I'm going, although with her super powers, she can guess just fine.

Since Alice had driven us to the coffee house, I hail a cab to go back home. The entire ride back, I think about what I'm going to say, what his possible excuses would be, and would he even make time for me. I'd like to think he will because of his desperation, but now I can't be so sure.

We pull in front of the building and after paying the driver, I stand and look at the huge structure in front of me. It's the first time I have a moment to truly appreciate everything I have, but then a cool wind blows through and I realize, I didn't earn any of this. Edward most likely busted his ass to earn his degrees and built his company from the ground up. He _earned_ everything in his life, what did I ever do to be his equal?

I sold a piece of me, to get what I wanted. Instead of working hard and putting in the long hours, I took the easy way out. I chose scones over crunches and stopped at the start of any muscle pain while on the treadmill. Maybe if I hadn't given up so easily and with a little discipline, I still could have had everything I wanted and even more.

What have I done?

I walk through the lobby of the building, admiring all the little details that had been meticulously picked. No doubt these decisions were made over late nights in a boardroom with beef and broccoli takeout and while Chinese sounds amazing right now, I need to focus. I don't want to think about how much hard work goes into everything around me.I need to make sure that I'm determined to succeed, and when I want to be good at something, I'm going to take full advantage of the time I have left.

I ignore my phone ringing and right when I look to see who it is, the battery dies and reminds me to call Dr. Lady Bits and set up my appointments. And to plug the damn phone in.

I arrive on Edward's floor, not even remembering getting on the elevator. I wonder if I can find a way to rewind time, and do things backwards, so I can see how everything plays out. Kind of like _Momento._

I raise my arm to knock, but I stagger back in the hallway and come face to face with Snooki's mom, or at least what I envision Ms. Polozzi to look like. She eyes me warily and for a split second I think I'm staring at my potential life-long employer. I know it's not when I see that her eyes are not a topaz color, but her teeth are. If she spent any more time in a tanning bed, I'm pretty sure she could have been hunted by Steve Irwin and Louis Vuitton for her pretty, leathery hide. She smells like dehydrated hot dogs.

She narrows her eyes and sneers as she looks me up and down. I have no idea who this woman is, why she's leaving Edward's apartment, or most importantly, why she has something against me, because unless she has a qualm with my newscasts, she needs to step off.

She comes up close, so we're almost nose-to-nose and stifles a hacker's cough. I step back a bit and she matches my movements.

"Don't think for one moment I don't know your game. You're taking over her life in every way. My girl was a good girl before she fell in with that lot. You'd be wise to stay away from them too."

I can only guess who _that lot_ is, but I simply nod and before I can say "_crikey," _she's shaking her head and turning away from me.

Then it hits me who this woman is. It's Mrs. Hale, Rosalie's mother. I see the sorrow behind her eyes, and I do feel somewhat bad that she's lost a child-my mother sucks at life, but clearly Mrs. Hale cared for her daughter. The love of a mother isn't something I'm familiar with, but I can pretend to be sympathetic. Ignoring the definition of a psychopath, I turn my partial attention to the departing, grieving Ms. Hale; the rest of my attention is on the sad piano music flowing into the hallway.

She's finally out of eyeshot because, I pity the woman, but she's an eyesore, I lightly knock on Edward's door. I don't like the idea that she represents what she's lost and the reasons behind music doesn't stop, so I assume that's because he doesn't hear me. I try the knob, surprised that it's unlocked.

I slip in and follow the sad, angry music down the hall. It's strange to be in this area of Edward's place because the furthest I've ever been was his living room. I'm not expecting anything tonight, but a tour would be nice.

I slip into the music room and my heart lurches at what the scene before me. Edward is pouring a large glass of Jack Daniels, throwing it back before chasing the shot with the bottle itself. He sets the bottle on the ground, letting it slip through his fingers. The evening light looks like something out of a self-loathing movie set and _Flashdance_.

Part of me wants to shake him and tell him to, as Alice would say, "Man the fuck up." The other part would love nothing more to pull him close and tell to him that whatever the problem is, we could work through it. Any hopes of things being okay are shot to shit.

He begins to play again and the sounds break my heart. It's a haunting melody, and though he doesn't know I'm here, it's like he's written that song just for me.

I clear my throat and his head snaps so quickly, I briefly fear he's given himself whiplash.

"Bella, what are you doing here?" His voice is raspy and sexy. I like it.

"I let myself in; I hope that's okay." Suddenly I'm not so sure this was a good idea anymore.

"Absolutely." He stands and slightly stumbles over the piano bench. I move forward to catch him and the moment he's in my arms, everything feels right. I've missed his presence over the past several days, but it's apparent how much I need him. I take a step back from the moment of intensity; that and the awful stench of alcohol on his breath.

"I didn't expect to hear from you for at least a day, let alone see you." He kisses me long and deep, and my head starts swimming; a mix from the liquor and the kiss itself. He pulls away, resting his forehead on mine.

"I've missed you so much," he whispers. He kisses me again, this time it's light and he pulls me into an anaconda-like squeeze.

I wrap my arms around him and whisper, "I'm here now. Why did you stay away?"

"We should sit. He lives me a long, lingering kiss and takes my hand, leading me down the hall.

In my mind I'm chanting, _Bedroom, bedroom, bedroom. _There's a small part of me that knows I'll get the answer I deserve in regards to his absence, but a larger part of me knows that the answers will come regardless, and I need to get mother-fucking laid. If our previous make-out sessions and the time when Edward dry humped me into oblivion are any indication of what's to come, well then...giddy-up.

Sure enough, he leads in the opposite direction of the family room and opens a door leading to an enormous room, with a California King in the center. There are two lounge chairs sitting in front of a wall made entirely out of windows. I'm really hoping there are blinds _somewhere_ because as fantastic as my body is, I don't want everyone to see it.

He sits on the edge of the bed and spreads his legs, pulling me between them. He hands ghost up and downs my sides, and I wish they'd start being a little more aggressive, a bit more poltergeist.

"I've missed you so much," he says quietly.

"You've said that a few times, but you wouldn't have to be a broken record if you'd called me back or send me a freaking text letting me know what was happening." I resist the urge to fold my arms like a petulant child.

"Would you believe me if I said I was scared?"

"Of what?" I chuckle

"You."

"Me?"

"Yes."

"Why?"

"Have you ever wanted something so bad, but thought it was eternally out of reach, only to have it fall right in your lap when you least expect it?"

I suddenly feel like I swallowed my tongue, but instead of flailing, I play it cool and simply say, "Go on."

"That's what you are to me. I've always put work first; I'm successful because I never let distractions in the way. I didn't allow myself to focus on a woman, to put my needs above my own. Sure I've wanted to do things differently, but I've never had the motivation. You make me want things I never thought I could have, and you encompass everything I ever thought unattainable.

"For the first time, in a long time I not only want to do all this, but I know I can, and somehow you inspire so many things for me, and I suddenly have all these emotions I pushed away for so long. I can't even begin to describe how I feel for you,"

I blink back tears, but he still hasn't answered my question. So I ask again, "How am I scary?"

"You aren't scary, Bella. In fact, you're the exact opposite. You're everything that I've been missing in my life, and what terrifies me is the realization of how much I missed out on. It's hard to take a long look in the mirror and see who I've become rather than who I've wanted to be. I thought I was happy with the way things were, then you walk into the Gala, gorgeous and stunning and turn everything upside down."

"Sorry?" I offer.

He laughs and shakes his head. "You're all I think about and you're everything I've ever wanted. Please don't apologize."

"But you don't know me," I say softly.

"I know that you're beautiful, charming, and smart."

I open my mouth to tell him that's he's only listed adjectives, and that's not a lot to go on, but he suddenly he smiles wide and pulls me down for a kiss, tangling his fingers in my hair. He groans as he slips his tongue out to meet mine. My neck starts getting a kink, but I'm already damned, so I'm not stopping this kiss, except to breathe of course. We pull back, both gasping.

"You make me want to tell you things that are absolutely ridiculous and will send you packing, but God help me, I just want to tell you over and over again how much I lo-"

I stop his rambling with another kiss because I don't think either of our hearts can handle what he's about to say. His feelings are all because of me, and not because he knows everything about me, but rather because it's what I've wanted him to believe-to see. The guilt is crushing, but I swallow it down because right now, the man I've wanted is pouring his heart to me and I can't let him continue. It isn't right for him to say those words until he fully understands what is going on and can make up his own mind. He still has the chance of free will.

He pulls me down and rolls us to the middle of the bed-is that a pillow top?

"I understand if you don't feel the same as I do, but you will. You're not the only one with charms. I've been told I can be very charming." Despite his genial tone, there's a slight sadness to his eyes. He grins again and lightly pecks my nose. The mood has now changed from heartfelt to playful and now that the serious part is over.

"Is that a challenge?"

"Absolutely."

"I see."

He places light kisses along my neck and behind my ear, my body is having a positive reaction to his _charms. _

"I want to know everything about you, and for you to know me," he murmurs in my ear.

"Is that so?" I say against his lips.

"It is. I say we start that now."

"Where do you suggest we begin?"

"I think we should get to be acquainted in the biblical sense."

"I couldn't agree more."

Immediately, he slides his body on top of mine, instinctively my legs spread like melted butter and welcome him right where he needs to be. I let my nails trail up and down, causing him to shudder and groan against my mouth. My hands seem to have a mind of their own as they roam lower and palm Edward's firm ass.

He thrusts, hard, and as a direct result, we're on our way to another epic dry humping, but I don't want that this time and clearly neither does he. I want wet, naked humping and in the words of Veruca Salt, I want it _now._

I reach between us and quickly undo Edward's belt, which is increasingly difficult when the man is kissing my neck and whispering dirty things in my ear. I need to focus, and the moment I do, I'm suddenly able to multi-task. I not only undo his belt, but manage to give him an awesome hickey he'll need to hide from the boardroom tomorrow. When he realizes what I've done, he looks hot and pissed, like Detective Stabler.

I give him a slight smirk, pull him back to me and wrestle out of the rest of our clothes. There's nothing sexy or sensual about it. In forty-five seconds we're naked, except for Edward's one lone black trouser sock he's subtly trying to kick off. Finally, we're flush against each other, bit to bit and I don't want to be anywhere but here.

Our breathing becomes measured and the intensity that surrounded us moments before is slowing down, despite the fact my heart is going faster than a racehorse on meth. I'm trying my best to focus on the man, and not the myth. "Bella," he says my name so softly I almost miss it.

Edward looks me in the eye and my heart drops at the vulnerability and yes, the _love_, written all over his face.

This is wrong, but it's not. It's what I've worked for, if you can call it that. Fuck it, I'm going for it.

Before I can say anything, he kisses me softly, sliding his right hand into my hair and the other is pulling me even closer. Instinct takes over and I hitch my leg a little higher than necessary, and we both groan at the contact our NC-17 parts make, it's the amuse bouche of sex. We both smile, lightly clicking teeth and it hurts but I'm not stopping. As long as he'll have me, I'm his.

He goes slow, at first it's a game of Just the Tip, until I tilt my hips and he's sliding all the way in. He buries his head in the crook my neck, mumbling over and over again what sounds like, "Please be real."

My heart clenches along with my stomach and the guilt is unbearable; it is at least until he begins to move. His light, feather kisses making their way to my lips are finally met with eagerness I'd been holding onto since the first day I saw his picture on _USA Today._

Slow and rhythmic turns to hurried and frantic as heartbeats race and a fine sheen of sweat covers every square inch. Our lips brush together between pants and with each thrust, I'm hoping he'll understand how much I need him, need us. As I feel myself begin to fall apart, I don't see stars, but a fucking planetarium, and judging by the way he's yelling and swearing, I think he does too.

"Bella," he mumbles in my hair.

"Hmm?" I'm too blissed out to form actual words.

"Are you going to let me say it?"

"Not right now."

He pulls away and looks at me, and if I didn't know any better, I'd have to call it sorrow. Is he feeling sorry for me or for himself because I won't let him say what he feels? I'm a selfish bitch because either way, it's my own doing of ensnaring this amazing man and not giving him an option to be any other way.

"I need to clean up." I lightly tap his shoulder and wince as he rolls off of me. I clench my legs together and hope I still have what it takes to hop like I'm in a potato sack race to his monstrous bathroom. As I freshen up, I avoid looking at myself in the mirror. I know my cheeks are flushed and my hair's a mess, but I just might break down if I have to stare myself in the eyes.

We switch places as he slips past me and I snuggle back under the covers. I feel his arms wrap around me, and I'm comforted by the rhythm of his heart and the warmth of his breath on my neck.

I wake up, briefly confused about my surroundings until I smell a hint of cologne and semen. It's not the best way to wake up, especially because it's still dark outside and I'm alone. The space where Edward was sleeping is cold, and I hope he's still here. I may have sold my soul, but damn-it, I'm still a lady.

I hear the TV in the main living room and throw on the shirt he was wearing before our interlude. He's sitting on the couch, nursing an amber liquid and staring at the large box. He's freshly showered and dressed in track pants and a t-shirt, the hickey is somewhat noticeable. I can't help but admire my handiwork.

"Hey," I say, breaking him of his trance.

"Hi, there." His smile is soft and warm. He pats the seat next to him, but I opt to sit in his lap. My lack of panties is noticed instantly and I receive an appreciative thrust and naughty tickle with his fingers.

"How long have you been out here?" I nip his earlobe.

"Long enough that I was going to wake you up."

"Yeah?"

"What can I say, I missed you. You've reduced me to a sucker."

I slide off his lap with the intention to get on my knees, but end up shamelessly spreading my legs, letting him get a full peek at the goods. It wasn't my intention to be such a hussy, but with the way he's staring, I'm the canary and he _really _wants to be a cat.

I feel self-conscious and lower my leg, but he stops me with his hand and a shake of his head. He props one leg on the table and the other on the edge of the couch, sliding to his knees. Succulent kisses trail from my knee, up to where it counts and after two tentative flicks of his tongue, he goes all in.

I'm hardly prepared for the aggressiveness, and I squeal when his nose flicks my clit. It's never felt this good before; I grab on to his hair and go with it, Moaning like the whore I am, I yell his name repeatedly when he slides two fingers and sucks _right there._

"Fuck me," I chant over and over again.

"You want me to stop?" The gleam in his eyes tells me he doesn't want to, and who am I to deny the man?

"Hell no."

My eyes roll to the back of my head when he goes back down and doesn't relent until I beg, on the verge of tears for him to stop teasing and let me come. My body becomes alive as I unravel into a useless, babbling mass of nonsense.

I hear a dark chuckle and man who is clearly satisfied and amused by my inability to function, although not too much based on the Coleman he's got going on. I make a weak attempt to reach for him and end up tumbling off the couch, landing on my shoulder with a loud "Oof."

I gather my bravado and climb into his lap, still tender but needing so much more.

"I meant what I said."

"What's that?"

"Fuck me," I demand.

I move to slide his pants down, but he grabs hand, kissing the inside of my wrist. "Bella, wait."

"You want to do that?"

"It was okay, right?"

"Uhm, _that_ and everything," he stammers, running a hand through his hair. The confidence and self-assured attitude is gone. It's been replaced by an insecurity that I wouldn't have ever thought existed.

"You're kidding, right?"

He shakes his head and sighs. I know what he's going to say, and I'm not going to let that bitch get in the way of what we have. "Rosalie always said that I had room for improvement." My heart hurts at the vulnerability in front of me and I'm so glad that bitch is gone.

"Seriously? Edward, that right there, what you just did, was incredible, and what happened in the bedroom earlier was..." I don't have any words to describe it, so I kiss him.

I let my emotions flow and he quickly responds, understanding that he has nothing to be worried about. I slide his pants to his knees and quickly straddle him, positioning his cock under me, and quickly bring us together. I love the feeling of him growing hard while inside, feeling his need to be with me intensify.

He grabs my hips and slams into me, meeting me thrust for thrust. "Fuck yes," he grounds out.

"Oh, you like the dirty talk?" I roll my hips against him and smirk.

He gives me a bruising kiss as an answer, swiftly peeling his shirt off my body.

"You like it when I tell you to fuck me?" I whisper in his ear, earning a grunt and harder thrusts in response and I close my eyes, but quickly open them when I feel his tongue flicking my nipple. Any lack of confidence has vanished and my sex-God is in full swing.

"You like that, Bella, knowing what you do to me. Look down, baby." I glance down and I can't see much because if he goes any deeper, I'll feel it in my throat, but he doesn't relent and the assault of his words and his dick quickly bring me to my breaking point. I kiss him, wet and sloppy with everything I have and squeeze my eyes tight as I come.

He comes too, moaning and grunting and falls comically limp against the couch. "We need to do this a lot more often." We laugh and again, I dismount the best I can hoping I don't dribble his _affection_ on his pretty Persian rug.

This time, when we clean ourselves off, it's together in the shower. There's no funny business, but he washes my hair, a first for me and I want to tell him how I feel, I do, but I can't. Not yet. I need to find a way to make sure his love for me is all his, and not a side effect of my contract.

We curl up again as the sun is rising and I can't fall asleep. I'm comfortable in Edward's pajamas, but I know it'd be better in my own.. I slip out and head down to my apartment, planning to return as soon as I've slipped into my own clothes.

I stop in my tracks at sight of the man on my couch, looking more attractive than I've ever seen him, knowing my attraction to him isn't genuine, but I find myself pulled to him anyway.

"What are you doing here?"

"Oh, darlin', sex with you smells so sweet in the morning, wouldn't you agree?" He flashes me a wicked smile.

"Jasper, what do you want?" I really don't have time for this and the longer we're around each other, the more dangerous he is.

He sucks on a Tootsie Pop and pats the couch. "Sit down, Bella. Let's have a chat."

* * *

><p>I'm sorry for the cliffie! I'm working on the next chapter, so I promise to try and be quick.<p>

Reviewers get teasers!

Thank you so much for reading and sticking with me through the inadvertant hiatus.

Love you guys!

Cheers

Anne


End file.
